


The Wardens New Commander

by MizUnderstood2136



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Double Penetration, Multi, Smut, Smutty Literature, m/f/m
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 07:27:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12103710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUnderstood2136/pseuds/MizUnderstood2136
Summary: Allayna Amell grew up in the Kinloch Hold circle tower as a mage. Nearing her Harrowing, she had met a young Templar named Cullen. They knew what they wanted was forbidden, but does attraction really care about rules or propriety?Allayna passed her Harrowing, then within days she was leaving with the Grey Warden Duncan. Within weeks the Tower was under siege by blood mages. When Allayna and Cullen met again, they were vastly different people and, heartbroken, Allayna left with the thought she would never see Cullen again.Fast forward - Allayna married her fellow Grey Warden Alistair. They lived a fairly typical life for Grey Wardens, and over the years they had gone many places, experienced and seen many things.After Alistair made it out of the fade with the Inquisitor, he and Allayna had been on the road for some time when they got the news of Corypheus' defeat. Within a few weeks, Allayna received a letter from Leliana, bidding her come to Skyhold for an old friend.There they find.. Cullen. Now the Commander of the Inquisition forces. But he's not the same man she knew from before she left the Tower. He was quiet and a bit broken.Could she and Alistair save the Commander from himself?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this all started with a silly picture on Facebook. Well really the picture was gorgeous and stunning. A bunch of us had gotten talking and I decided I wanted to write this thing.  
> Because see I've already read an amazing series by Felandris - http://archiveofourown.org/users/felandaris/pseuds/felandaris - with an Inquisitor with Cullen and Alistair.  
> But that never even occurred to me. I wanted a warden who had history with Cullen and a relationship with Alistair. Because Cullen is a bit broken and in need of some mending - who better than someone who has already loved him once before?

**Allayna & Alistair** **-**

 

We sat at a dark corner table at one of the small inn’s in Highever. Alistair ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

“Are you insane?” he hissed at me. I rolled my eyes. I was tired. Tired of running, tired of tents. Tired of saving people who didn’t have a damn clue.  
“Leliana is still at Skyhold. I want to go see her. I want a bed, Alistair. A bed to sleep in. And make love in. And a bath. And time to plan our next move. She offered us that. Since the Inquisition is kind of just there at the moment, things are calm since they killed Corypheus. Let me have this,” I begged him, gripping his hand. My red hair fell forward over my face, hiding the new scar on my cheek. I was tired.

“Are you really sure? What if people find out.. Who you are?”

“They won’t. We will be old friends of Leliana’s and who cares? Maker, Alistair. I need this. Stop arguing with me. We are going.” I stood up and left my drink on the table. When I got up to our room I tried to slam the door but it hit him instead.  
“I’m allowed to worry for you, you know.”

I sat on the bed and nodded. “I’m just so tired, love. I couldn’t even begin to tell you. Please?” I asked once more.  
“I’ll make arrangements in the morning. Is that soon enough?” he replied. I nodded. He brushed the hair from my face. “One of these days I’ll be able to tell you no,” he mumbled. I smiled at him. He sighed. I pushed off the bed and started to undress. The sun was already down, and we had ridden all day to get here. I unbuttoned the armored vest I wore, draping it over the chair. Took off my boots, and unbuttoned my gray pants, dropped them into the chair too. Wearing just my thin undershirt, I walked over to him.  
“I thought you were tired,” he said, eyeing me. I unbuckled the shoulders of his chest plate, dropping it gently to the floor. Still silent, I unhooked the rest of the armor, pushing it off his shoulders. “What, silence, love?” he teased. I just gave him a soft smile, and drew him to his feet. I pulled his tunic off over his head and tossed it behind me. Then my hands moved to his pants and he stopped me.  
“My turn,” he said before sliding the straps of my undershirt off my shoulders. With the briefest tug, it fell to the floor. He traced a finger over my breast. “Still as soft as the first time I touched you,” he said a bit reverently. I laughed.  
“You are standing there looking at me naked and you think of how soft I am?” I asked. He blushed. “Aye, well, shut up.”  
I pointed to his pants and sighed. He shook his head and removed them with his boots. I pushed him back onto the bed, where he sighed dramatically. “Why must you be so _needy_?” he whined. I shrugged and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. Then his mouth was on mine and all pretense fled. His hands pulled me against his chest, his tongue hot and demanding. I let him take over. My breasts against his chest. His hands sliding down my back to my butt. His cock already standing between my stomach and his. I reached between us, grasping it and beginning to stroke. He pulled his mouth from mine, “You can’t do that yet, that’s cheating,” he accused softly. I leaned forward and kissed him gently again, tugging at his bottom lip with my teeth. He growled.

Then I was on my back on the bed and he was no longer in my hand. He grabbed both of my hands and pulled them above my head then settled between my legs.

“You play dirty, Layne,” he whispered, shifting his hips and rubbing his cock against me. “And look, you are so ready for me,” he said, raising an eyebrow. I nodded. Said nothing. He kept my wrists in one hand and used the other to grasp at my neck gently. “I want to watch your face, as I enter you,” he whispered. I nodded again, my heart screaming in my chest. He shifted his hips again, and there he was. His cock nudging at my very ready entrance. Slowly pushing through, his arm trembling above my head. I tried my best to keep my eyes on his face, watching it change as my body took every inch of him. His eyes on me, his lip between his teeth. My own eyes were nearly closed, my mouth open.  
Then his mouth was on mine, his hands moving to my hips to grip me close. Tongues tasting and dancing, his hips starting to thrust ever so slowly. I gripped his face, ravishing his mouth as much as he was mine. Friction and heat and need driving us further from sanity. Then he was kneeling between my legs, thrusting and staring down at me. His hands moved to my legs, gripping my thighs, spreading me and sinking deeper inside me with every thrust. I tried to grasp the sheets beneath me but my hands wouldn’t stay still. One threading into my hair, one on my stomach, like it could help the heat rolling inside me.  
His eyes were on the hand on my stomach, “Touch yourself,” he whispered. Surprising us both. I stared at him. He nodded, moving faster. I reached down and set my fingers to my clit. He practically stopped breathing. I rubbed, tight tiny circles over it, my fingers brushing against his pelvis with every thrust. My hips were rising to meet his, my breath shallow.  
“Please please please,” this ever flowing litany running from my mouth. Then he was leaning over me, his pelvis trapping my hand between us, his eyes looking down into mine. And he moved, a long slow thrust that nearly melted my brain. Then another. Between his cock, and my hand, I had no chance. My back arched as I came apart under him. I swallowed my cry, my body taking over. Pulsing and pressing, spasming and so wet. Then his forehead was against my chin as he ground himself against me, reaching his own release. Spilling his seed deep inside me, hot and throbbing as my muscles clutched at his cock again and again. Every time my body pulsed, he twitched above me. I pulled my hand free and flung my arm over my face.

I felt him pull his head up. “Don’t do that,” he said quietly.  
“Do what, exactly?” I asked.

“Cover your face. It’s even lovelier than before.”  
I sighed. “I don’t feel that way. I never did, you know that,” I argued. His hand pulled my arm away as he settled his weight on top of me. He traced his thumb over the scar. Then he traced the faint one on my collarbone, kissed the one on my shoulder. “These tell the story of Allayna Amell. Allayna Theirin. Mage.” He kissed a scar on my hand. Shifted down my body, “Grey Warden,” kissing one on my ribs. Ran a fingertip over a deep one on my hip, “Hero,” he whispered. I was blushing when he moved back up to look me in the eyes. He kissed the one on my cheek. “Wife.”

I nodded. “You are far kinder to me than I am, _husband_.”

“Well of course, isn’t that why you married me? Oh and my impeccable cuddling skills. I slay at cuddling,” he said with a grin. Smoothing the hair from my face again he kissed my lips gently. “Now I am tired. Can I _finally_ go to sleep?” he teased. I nodded again and he was scooping me up in the next breath, laying me up on one of the pillows. He blew out the candles and climbed back onto the bed. He pulled the covers down and crawled under them after tucking me inside. Then he was curling up against my back, his hand wrapped around mine. His face against my neck and his thighs against mine.  
“I love you,” I whispered into the dark. His arms squeezed me for a moment. “I love you more,” came his quiet reply.

 

Next thing I knew I was waking up alone in the bed. The sun was up and I laid there a moment to think.  
Skyhold. Leliana’s invitation had been somewhat cryptic, which I hadn’t told Allistair about. But I wanted to go. And rest. I sighed and rolled over, enjoying the scent of Alistair left on the other pillow. I must have fallen back to sleep because I awoke again when I felt the bed sag next to me. I tried to push him away. Then he was poking me.  
“Get up, wench.”  
I opened an eye. “Wench? Is that how you should greet me in the morning?” I mumbled into his pillow.

“Everything is arranged. We have horses and a map and I am told it’s a gorgeous ride up a huge mountain. So get up!” He pulled the blanket off of me and stood next to the bed holding it just out of reach. I scowled at him.  
“This was your idea, remember?” he said brightly. I sat up and crawled to the edge of the bed, and he wrapped his arms around me when I knelt in front of him.  
“Good morning,” he said, kissing my nose.  
“Mmhmm. Is it? Is it really?” I asked with a reluctant smile.  
“Ah it really is. They have coffee here. Delicious dark coffee with a hint of chocolate. The innkeeper’s wife is a miracle worker.”  
“Ah, love, you had me at coffee and chocolate,” I mumbled. He chuckled and let me take the blanket as I climbed off the bed. I took the cup he held out to me and after sniffing it, I took a drink and almost died on the spot.  
“How long of a ride is it to Skyhold?” I asked.  
“The innkeeper said it’s probably 2 good days, though if we wanted to we could push the horses and get there in the middle of the night tonight.”  
I mulled it over. “Can we try?” I asked quietly. He nodded. “I got us their best horses, and they said that Skyhold will bring them back for us.”  
I felt the tension in my back relax some. I just wanted to be there and stop moving about so much.  
“Then let’s go?” I asked. He nodded again, downing the rest of his coffee. I followed suit. We packed up the saddlebags, donning our armor and cloaks. He settled my hood over my bright hair, “You look ravishing,” he said with a grin. I just poked him. “Really though, you look excited. I’m glad,” he said before kissing me. Then we were leaving, and riding out of town within minutes.

We followed the highway west then made our way into the mountains. We stopped mid afternoon, rested the horses for an hour or so and after eating our selves, we set out again. I lit our way once it grew dark, lighting my staff and putting it into the special harness on my saddle. Around midnight we could see the lights from Skyhold in the distance. The tightness in my chest loosened.

After another hour or so we finally came to the bridge. It was huge, and a soldier came running across as we approached.  

“Who goes there?” he asked.

“I'm Allayna, here at the behest of Lady Leliana. Is she here?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I was so excited to see her. It had been years and I had missed her so. She was my closest friend outside of Alistair. Smudge, my mabari, had passed away last year. So it was just Alistair and I. Then Alistair had come to Skyhold and met the Inquisitor, seen Leliana and gone into the Fade.

I had never been so terrified as I was when I got Leliana’s raven. The soldier’s voice brought me back.

“Lady Nightingale isn't at the castle tonight, my lady. What is your business here in the middle of the night?”

Alistair spoke up, “I was here a few months ago, with Garrett Hawke. Lady Leliana knows we’re coming, ser.”

The soldier mulled that over. “Let me get the Commander. He can decide what to do with you.” He motioned us to follow, so we dismounted and led the horses. When we got to the gates, he gave us terse instructions to stay put.

And so we waited. About ten minutes later the soldier came back. “Follow me,” he ordered. We did. Up a huge flight of stone stairs and into a lit office above the gate. There was a huge ornate desk, piled with papers and stuff. A ladder led up to another room. I was pulling my gloves off when someone started to descend the ladder.

“So sorry to have kept you waiting. Leliana was called away suddenly, so I guess it's up to me to greet you,” a familiar voice said. I turned to look. My heart nearly stopped.

“No,” I whispered. Alistair looked at me funny. I shook my head. The man turned and faced me, a quizzical look on his face, then surprise. His hair was longer, a little lighter. A scar marred his lip, but rather than detract from his rugged handsomeness, it just added to it.

“Allayna?” he whispered. I nodded.

“Wait, you two know each other? Wait don't I know you?” Alistair said, looking between the two of us. I swallowed.

“Alistair, meet Cullen, former templar of Kinloch Hold.”

“Wait, Cullen? Didn't I train with you during my templar training?” Alistair asked. Cullen blinked, looking between Alistair and I. He looked as confused as Alistair.

“I thought you were dead,” Cullen said. I shook my head.

“Alistair. He was with me at my Harrowing. And in the tower when Leliana and I retook it with Wynne and Zevran. Last I heard he was in Kirkwall.”

“I was in Kirkwall until Cassandra recruited me for the inquisition. I'm the Commander of the Inquisition forces. Still. What are you doing here?” Cullen asked.

I laughed softly. “Leliana invited me. Well us. Alistair is my husband.”

Poor Alistair just looked so shocked. “I did train with you. You were there when I got to make my naked march into the mess hall!” he exclaimed. Cullen chuckled. “That was you wasn't it? How are you?” he asked. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Well. I helped defeat the blight. Abdicated the throne. Went to the Fade with Hawke. Met Kieran. Oh, and I'm married. To her.” Alistair ticked the things he listed off with his hands. I raised an eyebrow. Alistair spoke again, “And you’re with the Inquisition! How come I never saw you when I was here a few months ago? I would have enjoyed drinking you under the table again!” I raised both eyebrows. He had the grace to blush and shut up. Cullen just laughed quietly.

I _felt_ the room. “Cullen. Er, Commander. You don't feel like a Templar anymore.”

He sighed. “I stopped taking Lyrium about 2 years ago.”

“That was you?!” I asked. Surprised. I had heard of a Templar here who had done that and wasn't stark raving mad from the withdrawal.

“Ah. Yes. That was me. And call me Cullen. No need for formalities since we all technically know each other. Why did Leliana invite you here?”

“She told me an old friend needed my help. Is Morrigan still here?” I asked. He shook his head, confused. “No idea what she was on about. I'm just going to give you the other tower room, as the other guest rooms are full and this one is bigger anyhow. And Josephine is asleep and can't tell me no.” Cullen motioned for us to follow him. He walked out the side door and walked quietly along the battlements. He opened the next tower and there was a tidy bedroom. “Get some rest and we can talk tomorrow. I need time to think,” he said with a chuckle before leaving and closing the door behind him.

I turned and looked at Alistair. “He's why I'm here.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked as he started to unpack. I sighed.

“I don't know. But he felt.. Different. It's hard to explain.”

He walked over to me and started to unfasten my cloak. “How well did you know him?” he asked.

I blushed. “Well. Well enough, I suppose. I spent a lot of time with him. He was patient and kind. And my first kiss. And maybe more..”

His eyebrows shot up. “You kissed _him_?” he asked. I nodded, my face getting redder.

“I accosted him in the library. Poor man was so torn. Between duty and me. And I felt wretched afterwards even though as first kisses went it was fairly spectacular.”

“He was so boring back then! He kissed a MAGE?!” Alistair practically cackled.

“Waaait. You kissed him. Were you in love with him?” he was suddenly very quiet. I stepped forward and put my hand on his cheek.

“Yes. I was. But then he tried to kill me at the tower. And he was so very broken. And I had found you. With your silly blushing. And random roses that made me want to cry. And showing me kindness that was rare for those dealing with mages.”

He blushed right on cue. “Well. If that's all then,” he said, rubbing a hand over his mouth. I smiled. “You're mine, Alistair. Besides, it's been almost 10 years. We're all different people. He probably has someone now.”

I hoped he did. Because I had stood there in his office with heat bouncing around in my stomach, because next to me stood my husband but in front of me had stood the first man to ever touch me.

He eyed me. “Probably not. This is all very strange. Do you still love him?” He looked down when he said it.

“I love who he was, Alistair. He was strong and smart and very respected. What happened at the tower after I left changed him. He was angry, bitter. Tried to have me killed. I don't even know if he remembers that part. He yelled at me for tempting him again and again while he was in that cage. I think the demons used me against him, Alistair.”

He pulled me close. “I'm glad he didn't kill you,” he mumbled into my hair. I laughed. “Me too. Mostly because I had other plans. Like right now. I'm not a bit tired. Are you?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Here?” he squeaked. I laughed again, unbuckling his breast plate. If flopped to the floor with a thunk. Then I started unhooking his armor, and it followed suit. I untied his tunic and he pulled it over his head.

Soon, he was unfastening my armored shirt, and pushed it off my shoulders. Kissing my jaw and my neck.

He pulled my undershirt down, and where it bunched at my waist he left it to bend and take my boots off. Kneeling in front of me, he untied and pulled my pants and shirt off in one move. He pressed his mouth to the curve of my hip. “How have you stayed this beautiful?” he murmured. I raised an eyebrow.

Shaking his head, he pushed me towards the bed and after I sat, he pushed me back onto it, pulling my hips forward to where my butt was on the edge of the bed. Wasting no time, soon his fingers were parting me, and his tongue, ah his tongue was doing things. Sliding inside me. Twirling around my clit in these lazy wet circles. His mouth slowly worked me into a frenzy, his lips sucking and his tongue diving and flicking. I was writhing and gasping, my left hand in his hair. I was trying to muffle my noises but it wasn’t working so well.  
Alistair slid 2 fingers inside me, his tongue and hand moving in unison. Within a few thrusts of his hand, I was crying out, falling to pieces. His tongue stayed on me, flicking and licking. I laid there, shaking on the bed. My body clutching at his fingers, throbbing under his tongue. I twitched every time he touched me with it. He pulled his mouth and fingers away, chuckling as he kissed my shaking thigh. He stood up and took off his pants and boots. I watched, enjoying every moment. His body was still hard and well muscled, a few new scars to show how we lived but for the most part, he was as healthy as he had been ten years ago.

“Turn over,” he said as he walked back to the bed. I listened, because I knew what he wanted. On my stomach, I flicked my air away from my face. He laid on top of my back, his cock nestling between my butt cheeks. His face nuzzling my neck. I reached my hand up and caressed his face. He pressed a kiss to my palm before shifting us on the bed. He drew my right leg up, then shifted his hips, his hand guiding his cock. When he finally pressed inside me, I pushed my mouth into the mattress and groaned. His left hand grabbed mine, tangling our fingers together. Then, as he started to thrust, his right hand grasped mine and slid it under my stomach and down to my clit. Threading his fingers through mine, he and I rubbed my clit together as his cock ever so slowly compromised what mind I had left.

His breath was heavy against my ear, sending answering shivers down my spine again and again. I closed my eyes and let him take me away. He thrust, digging his cock deep inside me with every one.

Exquisite pressure building.

My skin felt like it was on fire.

I begged him.

I begged him for more, harder, faster, all of the things.  
And as always, he more than willingly obliged. His hips pumped, driving me into the bed with every thrust. Hands still gripping mine, fingers never stopping their rubbing, I was soon too far gone to beg.

And finally, bliss. The kind that makes stars explode behind your eyes. You feel the tremors down your legs, expanding through your stomach and out your finger tips. Big rolling orgasm that makes you wish never to move again. Clenching and throbbing and shaking to your core.

He smothered his own cry against my back, grinding his pelvis against my butt, spilling deep inside me. I shook beneath him, my body still clutching at his cock.

“Maker. Are you alright?” he whispered loudly. I laughed, though it was smothered by the bed. A few minutes, Alistair pulled himself off of me, flopping into his back next to me. I put my hand on his chest. His heart was racing as fast as mine. I kissed his shoulder. “I'm perfect. Are _you_ alright?” I asked with a sneer.

He slapped my butt. “Curb your tongue, wench. I am fabulous. Better than fabulous. Damn did we do that ten minutes after arriving at Skyhold?”

I snorted. “We certainly did. Do you think anyone heard us?”

He shook his head and huffed out a breath. “No. No way. I mean. Probably. What do I know about ancient castle walls?”

I laughed. Couldn’t have helped it if I had tried. He rubbed his hand over my butt, absentmindedly. I scooted closer to him, pressing my face against his shoulder. “I love you, you know.”  
He nodded. “I do. Even when you get googly eyed over some weird ex-templar.”  
I raised an eyebrow. “You were having some serious hero-worship of your own going on.”  
He stared at me. “I liked him. He was one of the good ones. Probably still is, despite the fact that he is still roguishly handsome. I felt positively plain next to that face.” He gave me his sad-puppy face. I just shook my head.  
“You know you’re still very pretty, Alistair. Women are fawning all over you all the time.”  
“Aye, I know it. But I only have eyes for one,” and he winked at me. I just sighed. “Did your ego need petting tonight, love?” I asked, running my hand down his chest. I spread my fingers out low on his abdomen, so close yet so far away. He just nodded and I bit his shoulder.  
“OW! Woman! What is wrong with you?” he asked with a laugh. I just laughed. Then I yawned.  
“Oh, way to ruin the fun. Let’s go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow we can get answers from Leliana. And maybe we can talk to Cullen some more.”  
I rolled my eyes as I climbed under the blankets. “Yes. Cullen. Right.”  
He shrugged and laid down next to me. I curled up against his back, pressing my nose against his back. His hand found mine and wrapped around it.  
“Love you, mean woman.”  
“Oh I know you do, ridiculous man. Go to sleep,” I whispered.  
“Yes, dear.”

  


**Cullen** **-**

  
Was she really here? What on earth was going on?? I looked out my window again, and there she was, asleep on the bed with Alistair.  
Allayna. I had never thought to see her again. The source of so much of my initial discontent in the Circle. She was the first to make me question my vows. And I seriously questioned them. I had dreamed of her almost nightly since the first time we met. She had dropped books on my feet. And I couldn’t even be mad at her. She had been so flustered, apologizing like she expected to be punished for being.. A person. Though one could hardly blame her. She had hurriedly picked the books up, and when I bent to help she scurried backwards like I was going to hurt her. I had smiled and introduced myself.  
She had eyed me warily, but after a moment she graced me with a smile. And my heart stopped.  
I couldn’t tell you the hours I spent in prayer after that meeting. I had never been so conflicted in my life. She went out of her way to find me each day. Asking me questions, telling me about her studies. She became a friend, a forbidden friend. And then she became more. Stolen touches. Moments where it seemed the very air between us would light on fire.  
The tension was incredible. And the nights I spent alone in my room hard as a rock had almost done me in. Until her harrowing. I had asked the First Enchanter to assign someone else. He agreed with Gregoir. I was to witness and attend and kill her if it went wrong. I hated her as much as I wanted her in that moment.  
When she had come through, with remarkable ease mind you, I had never been so relieved in my life. She found me in the chapel that night. Then she took my hand and led me to this little side room off of one of the libraries. She had kissed me. My first as well as hers if I recall right. She had kissed me and I had felt like nothing in life would be better than her touching me. I kissed her back, my body far smarter than my mind. But when my mind returned to itself, I ran.  
Until she found me a few days later. She took me back to that same space and sat on the desk staring at me. “Do you hate me?” she asked me quietly. I had shaken my head, unable to put what I _felt_ into words.  
“Do you want me to leave you be?” she asked, tears in her eyes. I shook my head. Then nodded. Then I shook my head again. I went to her. I took her flushed face in my hands, looked into her impossibly green eyes and kissed her. She unbuckled my armor, undressed me, her hands hot against my skin. Then her hand was on my cock and I almost expired on the spot. No one had ever gone there except myself. But her soft tiny hand? Felt a million times better than my own. She had stroked me, lovingly and tenderly. She broke her mouth away from mine, pressed her forehead to my cheek.

She helped me lift her skirt, and she guided my hand to her. Hot and wet, soft and sensitive. She had guided me, touching herself with my hand. She kept stroking me with her hand, and when I wrapped my free hand around hers, gripping my cock harder, pressed her pelvis against my hand. She pressed her mouth to my chest, smothering herself. I was shaking. I could feel my body growing tight. “Maker Ally, you’re killing me,” I had whispered. She had looked up at me with those eyes, “But what a way to die, Cullen,” she had whispered back. I kissed her again and within seconds I was shuddering in her hand. I gasped into her mouth as I came, my hips thrusting of their own accord, my seed spilling on her leg. Then she was whimpering, her own body shaking and throbbing against my hand. Her arousal coated our hands. When she had quieted, she quietly cleaned us up.

“Where.. Did you learn..?” I had tried to ask. She had given this low velvety laugh.  
“I read books, Cullen. Have you really never looked at the titles of those hundreds of books I’ve gone out of my way to get while you are around? Books can be very informative. I learned all sorts of things from those books. I should let Irving know some of them have pictures though.” She helped me right my armor, and buckled me back into it. Then she had kissed me again.  
“Be safe,” she had whispered before leaving me there.  
Three days later she had left with the Grey Warden Duncan. 2 weeks after that the tower was under siege from within. And I had spent who know’s how long inside that magic cage denying _her_ . The _her_ that wasn’t really Allayna Amell. But a demon trying to break my mind.  
Then she had showed up, like this flaming avenging angel. And what did I do? Order Gregoir to kill her and Irving. I was out of my mind. And she had saved me anyhow. Then left with the saddest look in her eyes when I refused to speak to her when the conflict was over. I had hated myself that day. When we had heard that the archdemon had fallen, word went around that a grey warden with hair of fire had slain it but none had any real accounting of her afterwards. I had given up on ever apologizing to her.  
On one hand I am glad that she had found Alistair. On the other, I was insanely jealous that he.. That bumbling recruit, had found the only woman I had ever truly loved.  
I went and climbed onto my bed. Tried to go to sleep and get the image of her naked under Alistair out of my mind.  
  
It didn’t work.

 

 **Allayna and Alistair - The Next Morning** **-**

 

I woke up before Alistair did, and decided to explore. We had a ladder leading up. And after putting on a pair of loose pants and one of his shirts, I climbed up to the top. The roof was crumbling on the outside edge, and the top of the outer window was gone. But the view was spectacular. Rolling mountains and low morning misty clouds. Gorgeous thing to wake up to. I wandered around the disheveled room. I found myself at another window. That had a perfect view of the tower Cullen’s office was in. I looked closer. He laid asleep on a bed, naked except for a thin sheet. A hand spread on his stomach and one thrown over his face. I sighed. Went and climbed back down the ladder and after stripping I climbed back into the bed with Alistair. He immediately cuddled close to me, mumbled something about “king cheese” and promptly fell back to sleep.

 

Alistair woke me a bit later. “I think Leliana is back. Pretty sure I heard one of the gate guards yelling something about the Nightingale. Get dressed so we can go see!”

I grumbled at him, before burying my face under the pillow.  
“Oh do you think that is an actual deterrent, Layne?”  
I felt his fingers. On my sides. Through the blanket.  
“Don’t you dare,” I warned him, my words muffled.  
“Dare what? Dare… This?” he asked as he started strumming them along my sides. Giggling, I tried slapping his hands away but he was behind me and thus able to outmaneuver me. I rolled onto my back and grabbed his hands. “Stop it!” I said, trying to look stern. He wiggled his eyebrows and looked down. The blanket had become dislodged in the tickling and my breasts were very aware it was chilly in the room. I raised an eyebrow.  
“Really? All it takes is some breasts to distract you?” I teased. He squinted at me.  
“Have you seen those? They are, by far, the best breasts I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes, and hands and my mouth upon.” He looked positively enraptured. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. Best breasts, indeed. I let go of his hands and climbed out of the bed. I stood next to it, stretching.  
“If you don’t stop that, I am going to pull you back into this bed and..”  
A knock interrupted his threats. I grabbed his shirt from where I had dropped it earlier, put it on while he wrapped the blanket around himself. I opened the door, to find Cullen standing there. I grinned.  
“Good morning, Commander,” I said cheerfully. His face grew exceedingly red. “Why are you answering the door half naked!?” he hissed at me. Alistair laughed from the bed.  
“Because that woman has no shame. Seriously, none.” He was propped on an elbow, grinning at Cullen through the open door.  
“Would you like to come in?” I asked. He shook his head and clenched his fists. I raised an eyebrow.  
“You are insane,” he whispered. I laughed again. Insane indeed.  
“Is there something you wanted, Cullen?” Alistair asked.  
“Ah. Yes. Well. Leliana is back. You should probably wear clothes when you see her though. Please. For all that’s holy.”  
I shrugged, causing Alistair’s shirt to fall off of my shoulder. It draped low over my breast and honestly, had I been much smaller there, it would have fallen clean off it. Cullen’s eyes followed the shirt, and his blush returned.  
“Fuck,” he whispered before turning and stomping away.  
I closed the door and looked at Alistair. “Did you enjoy torturing the poor man?” he asked, watching my face.  
“I didn’t mean to, I think..” I answered. He got up and walked over to me. Put a hand on either side of me against the door. His blanket fell to the floor.  
“You totally did. What are you playing at?” he asked quietly. He knew me. Better than anyone. We had been trapped in the fade together back before we killed the Archdemon. He knew everything.  
“I don’t know,” I whispered.  
“Well, figure it out before you kill that poor man,” he said with a grin. When he turned away I kicked him in the ass.  
He just laughed and went about getting dressed. After we had righted the room somewhat, we left the saddlebags and went to Cullen’s office. The door opened with a swish, and there he stood. His hair was mussed and he looked rather.. Off.  
“Are you alright?” I asked.  
“I.. yes I’m fine, thank you. Let me take you to Leliana. Please.” He bade us follow him. He led us across a bridge and into the main hall of the keep. First room we entered was a round tower, with gorgeously painted walls. Then from there he led us up a curved flight of stairs, past a library and up another flight of stairs. We could hear the squawks of the birds long before we reached the top. There was one person up there, in the shadows standing by a dirty window.  
“Leliana? I believe these are _your_ guests?” Cullen said, surprising her. She turned around and within an instant, her pretty face was split by a huge smile. She rushed to me and hugged me.  
“You’re here! You really came! I wasn’t sure you would take me seriously but, Maker, you’re here!” she exclaimed, crying and laughing and gripping me so very tight.  
“I missed you too,” I whispered, hugging her just as tightly. Alistair cleared his throat. She jumped again, “Ali! You came too! Well, again. Maker, where are my manners?” she grabbed him and pulled him into the hug. He laughed and hugged us both. Then because Cullen was trying to awkwardly sneak away, Alistair called out, “Won’t you join us Commander? Group hugs, all around!”  
Leliana gasped. I bit my lip to try and not laugh. Cullen sighed from the top of the stairs. Turned around. “Are you serious?” he asked, raising a blonde eyebrow. I shook my head.  
“Ignore him, Cullen. Commander. Please? He’s just in a mood,” I tried to reassure him as I kicked Alistair in the shin. He scowled at me. “He was always too serious, love. He needs to smile.”  
Leliana looked at Alistair. “You know him?”  
He nodded. “We trained together for a time in Ferelden. Before he was placed at Kinloch Hold.”  
“What an oddly small world,” she mused. I knew her better than that. She had known exactly who was where. She was very shrewd. And smart. Wicked smart.  
“Alistair, why don’t you and the Commander go find yourselves some breakfast. I wish to talk to Leliana for a minute.”  
He gave me a dubious look but nodded and after a quick kiss, he ushered a very confused Cullen down the stairs.

“Well, that was something,” she said with a grin. She took my arm and we went out into the cool air onto a walkway overlooking a side courtyard. I just looked at her and crossed my arms over my chest. “Ah yes. He is why you are here.”  
I nodded. I had thought that much already. So I waited.  
“He.. dreams of you. Of the circle. Of before and after we were there. His nightmares are.. Intense. I think he hurts more than he has let on. The Inquisitor and I are worried for him. With things calming down, and Cassandra leaving to be Divine, he has had less on his plate to distract him.”  
“And why is this something I need to fix? It’s not like I can go back and change what happened. And I’m married now, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.”  
“Zevran came to see me about a month ago. Told me some really fascinating stories about you three.”  
I felt blood rush to my face. That little..  
“What did he tell you, exactly?” I asked, studying my fingernails.  
“That he met you two in Antiva a couple years ago. And you guys spent a glorious 4 months, doing, oh how did he put it? ‘Things that would make your pretty cheeks red for weeks, Lady Nightingale,’” she mimicked his voice perfectly. My blush intensified.

“Who would have thought the delicate little mage from the circle had it in her?” she mused.

“Well, if we are going to all in, I had _them_ in me.”  
Leliana gasped and started to giggle. “You are.. Far more lucky than I have ever given you credit for.”  
I just shook my head. “Life takes us in strange directions, Leli. It happened mostly by accident, but kept happening because we all wanted it to. Zevran wasn’t ready for anything long term. But he was more than willing to, uhm, share and be shared?”

Leliana leaned forward, “How did you convince Alistair? He was once.. The most virginal stick in the mud!”

I laughed. “It was.. In all actuality, his idea. He knew I had done ‘stuff’ with Zevran back in the day. And, he was fairly confident in his place in my heart. And, though it took some wine and convincing, Zev soon had him joining in. Are we really talking about this?” I whispered. She nodded eagerly.  
“It’s been so boring since we killed Corypheus. Seriously. The Inquisitor is always off closing more rifts, and there’s not much to do here until he’s back. Come on! Tell me more!”  
I thought about it. “I’m not going to give you all the details. Those belong to us. Suffice it to say, exquisite sex. Now, why am I really here?”  
“I need you to fix Cullen. I don’t care how. None of our healers can get a handle on it. And one of the more devout ones is insisting that it’s guilt that’s riding him. Not magic or compulsion or even his Lyrium any more.” She took a breath.  
“He’s broken. In more ways than one. And he needs something to bring him back. He’s become a treasured friend and I would be devastated to lose him.”  
“Have you and he..?” I started to ask. She laughed.  
“No. Thank the Maker, that would be like propositioning my brother. It’s not me he needs.”  
“How can I do anything, Leli?”

“First off, you are the most powerful Grey Warden mage I’ve ever met. You did not fall to Corypheus as so many others did. My raven found you in Montsimmard when I had to inform you about Alistair and the Fade. You had to feel the compulsion. And you knew him before. Before the break.”  
I swallowed. Sat down on the walkway and closed my eyes. “Alistair barely felt it. He said it was kind of like this annoying voice scratching at the back of his brain. For me it was constant. This poignant beautiful song that was .. just off key a tiny bit. Sharp. But beautiful. Haunting and constantly pulling at something deep inside me. Alistair was terrified. Tried to get me as far away as possible. While sticking his nose into the very center of it all. He was so heartbroken when I found him on the way to Weisshaupt. He was sick for days, at the thought of what the Warden’s had done, even in their effort to save the world again. And so I never told him how bad it was.”  
“Oh, Ally. I’m sorry,” Leliana said softly. I nodded.  
“He’s better now. We went.. Informed them of what had happened. They had tried to make us stay, but we got out before they locked down the citadel. We’ve been on the run since. Hunting.. Well hunting the cure to the blight.”  
“Why did you come if you were so busy?” she asked.  
“Because you asked. And I am very tired. So tired. Tired of sleeping on the ground. In tents. Sleeping at Inn’s and brothels because those were the only available beds. I feel dirty and tired and I need to rest.”  
“Then you will stay here a while. I insist. And maybe you can help Cullen. I hope.”  
I nodded. “Can we go eat now? I’m starving.”  
“Oh I bet, after the night you had,” she murmured.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“The guard on the wall heard things?” Leliana offered with a grin. I sighed.  
“Oh well. They were fun things. Now can we eat?” I begged. She laughed and helped me up. When we got to the main hall, Alistair and Cullen were deep in conversation. When they looked up, Alistair grinned at me. “Cullen and I have a date later,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Cullen just sighed.  
“Oh? Pray tell?” I said, kissing him before sitting down. The food smelled divine.  
“Aye, apparently Varric is still here and wants to play Wicked Grace. I managed to talk Cullen into playing.”  
“No. You bribed me. Told me you would spar with my new recruits if I played your silly game.”  
“Oh come now, Wicked Grace is not silly.”

“It is when the pretty Antivan steals all your clothes,” Cullen muttered under his breath.  
I laughed. “So Alistair wasn’t the only one with a naked moment?” I teased. He just blushed and went back to eating. I sighed. I grabbed some food, ate in silence as they all talked around me. When they all finished, Alistair went with Cullen and I followed Leliana to the library. She left me perusing the books. After a while I could hear the clanging of swords outside. I took a couple of books I hadn’t managed to read in the last few years, and took them out onto that bridge Cullen had taken us over earlier. I watched Alistair in the sparring ring, with 4 recruits surrounding him. He had taken off his Warden armor, and was just wearing his tunic over his leather pants and boots. As he parried their moves, and showed them their errors, he instructed them kindly but firmly. I heard a sound behind me.  
“Fancy meeting you here, Commander,” I said quietly.  
“Aye well, this is my bridge,” he muttered. I laughed softly.  
“I’m glad you and Alistair like each other,” I said.  
“Aye, well, he always was a likeable sort. A bit odd before. But now? He seems to have grown up well.”  
“You both have. I mean, you went from a Templar to a Knight Captain to Knight Commander to the Inquisition Commander. Quite a few leaps in a short life, Cullen.”  
He rubbed the back of his neck, before leaning onto the side of the bridge next to me.  
“It’s been a very long ugly road, Ally.”  
I felt my heart hitch. He had been the first to call me that. “Aren’t they all? For us in the thick of things?” I said softly.  
“Aye well at least I deserve my long and ugly,” he said with his head down.  
“Bullshit.” Succinct.  
“What?”

“I said ‘Bullshit’. I am pretty sure I still speak rather plainly. You had no control over what happened. One rookie templar against strong seasoned blood mages? Please.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How do you know..?” he started to say. I shook my head and snorted.  
“You were a rookie Templar, Cullen. No more ready for the world than I was. You got handed a far worse hand than I did. I got to run off with the Grey Wardens, you were stuck there while Uldred did those.. things. “  
“What I said, though,” he whispered. I sighed.  
“Do you really think I believed them?” I asked quietly.

“How could you not?”  
“Because for all my naivete, I knew _you_ .”  
He bowed his head. I kept watching Alistair.  
“You are a far better person than I.”

“No. I am just another person trying to do her best in a really messed up world.”  
“No. You are far more than that. Does he know how lucky he is?”  
I don’t think he had meant to say it out loud.  
“He very much does. Tells me all the time. I’m lucky too. But that is a discussion for another day. Can I ask you a question?” I asked.  
“You just did,” he answered before he thought. He looked at me in surprise.  
I laughed. “You remembered,” I said with a grin.  
“So I did. I haven’t said that in a long time.” He chuckled.  
“Are you with anyone?”  
“I… oh. No. I’m not. I haven’t had time. Or the inclination really. You’re married, what do you care?”  
“Because I am allowed to care. You matter, whether you believe you should or not. Anyhow, where can I get a hot bath? That was one of the things Leliana used to lure me here. ‘Heated bathing pool in a private room’ I believe was how she put it.”  
“Ah, yes. We actually just got finished with that a few weeks ago. Would you like me to show you?” he asked, a blush creeping up his face. I nodded enthusiastically and climbed off the wall.  
“What books have you got there?” he asked.  
“Do you really want to know?”  
“Maker’s breath. Still?”  
I laughed softly. “Always. Learning new things keeps life lively and fun and beautiful. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“No. I mean. I’m going to walk away. You can follow me and I will show you the bathing chamber. For the love of the Maker, do not tell me more.”  
Good to his word, he turned around and started loping down the stairs. I followed, watching the way his older body moved. For a man who had seen as much battle as he had, he moved fairly gracefully still. Wide hand holding his sword, the other grazing the wall as he descended. I sighed. It was going to be a long visit.  
He led me to another hallway. “Through that door is Josephine Montilyet’s office. She is our ambassador, hails from Antiva. She has a fiery temper but she is the best at her job. Down here is the bathing room.” He turned and went down another flight of stairs. I followed silently.  
“The kitchens are down here, as is the weird wine cellar the Inquisitor started. There is also an old library that’s rarely used.” He looked back at me, gestured. I looked in. Gasped. “Cullen! Some of these are books they were in search of for even the huge library back at Kinloch!” I said with glee. I ran my fingers gently over a few of the bindings.  
“Some of these are exceedingly rare, how have you just let this sit here?” I asked.  
“The Inquisitor wanted them left here. You can come down and read whatever you like however, I know you’ll respect them more than most.”  
I eyed the desk.  
“That’s a gorgeous desk,” I said, my voice suddenly huskier than usual. “Big and sturdy.”  
His face flushed again. “No. Bathing room is this way,” he swallowed, looked at the desk again with new eyes then walked away. I followed and through another new looking walkway, he showed me to a large wooden door. He opened it and there.. Was the biggest bathing pool I had ever seen. Could easily sit 6 people comfortably. I breathed in the steam.  
“This is spectacular!” I said. He raised an eyebrow. “It’s a bathing room. Nothing special.”  
I snorted again. “This is the best bathing room on the planet. Seriously. How do we claim it for use? Is there a sign or something?”  
“You just lock the door. Nothing too extravagant. You don’t need a trumpet to warn the world you must take a bath.”  
I laughed.  
“Fine. I won’t tell everyone I intend to bathe. Just very specific people.” I turned and walked away. I could hear him muttering behind me. I smiled to myself and made my way back out of the keep. Alistair was shirtless now, and the recruits were all leaning on the fence winded. I walked over to the sparring ring.

“Did you hurt the new ones, love?” I asked with a smile. He jogged over to me, and I leaned over the fence for a kiss. He willingly obliged me. “I think they are a little tired, yes. Care to join me?” he asked with an eyebrow wiggle. I raised one of my own. “Honey. We know who would win that fight.”  
“Oh but it’ll be fun to put on a show. Cullen is watching!” he whispered. I rolled my eyes. I asked one of the young men standing outside the ring to hold the books I was still carrying. Alistair helped me over the fence and asked the other recruits to step outside the circle for their own safety.

“Am I holding back?” he asked me quietly. I shook my head. I closed my eyes, concentrated on the bedroom where we had left our things, and summoned my staff. One of the recruits gasped.  
“She’s a mage!” he whispered. The other ones leaned on the fence to watch. I stretched my shoulders, swung my staff in an arc around me, leaving a faint trail of smoke on the ground in front of me. Alistair, grabbed his shield and sword, and advanced on me. I blasted him with a spray of fire, and he barely deflected it.  
“Hey! I like my hair!” he exclaimed, bringing his sword up. I just held out my free hand and beckoned him closer. He ran at me, and one of the recruits behind me gasped when he feinted a move and swung his sword in an arc towards my face. I deflected with my staff, slamming the bottom into the ground, creating a shockwave in the dirt. It knocked the recruits back as well as Alistair to the ground. I summoned a small funnel of fire, and it danced across the ground towards him. He tumbled backwards, rolling away from it before springing back to his feet. “Oh, fighting dirty now are we?” he sneered at me.  
“Are you afraid, little warrior?” I sneered back. He kicked dirt at me, and as I blocked it with the magic shield again he spun, hitting my leg with the flat of his blade. I blasted at the sword with frost and he yelled at me as his fingers froze to the hilt. He threw his shield at me, and when I froze it mid-air, one of the recruits cheered. Alistair glared at him, and while he was distracted I flung the shield back at him. It smacked him in the leg, and once it landed with a thud at his feet he scooped it back up and with a flourish, he rushed at me. Rather than using magic, I fought back with the staff. Parrying his hits and striking some of my own. We fell into a rhythm, strike, turn, strike, parry. When I could see him starting to tire, I hit the ground with another tremor, and he flew to the ground, I jumped on his chest and held a dagger to his throat. “Yield?” I asked, panting as hard as he was.  
“Aye, you dirty mage,” he said with a laugh. I leaned down and kissed him before climbing off. I helped him to his feet and the recruits started to cheer rather loudly. Cullen stood with his hands on the railing of the bridge up above us. I waved and he gave me a tentative wave back. I turned back to Alistair, and after shaking hands with the recruits, I took my books back and we headed back to the tower. Once I stored my staff under the bed, I told Alistair what Cullen had shown me.  
“You mean a real bath?” he asked, his eyes wide. I nodded. He sounded positively giddy.  
“Is it big enough to share?” he wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed.  
“More than. 6 people could fit in that thing. But it’s gorgeous and deep and warm. The last time I had a warm bath was before the breach!” I exclaimed. He walked over to me. “I think I need a bath,” he said. We got clean clothes out of our bags, actual real clothes, not armor. Taking our bathing things I led him back into the keep. Cullen was sitting in a chair by the fire when we walked through the hall. “Taking advantage of the bathing room?” he asked.  
“Oh, indeed. It’s been so long since we enjoyed a hot bath. And, see, we are conserving water by bathing _together_ ,” Alistair answered.  
I spoke up, just to add wood to the fire so to speak, “We could conserve even.. More.. water if..” and Alistair covered my mouth before I could finish.  
“Let’s not bother the Commander, love. Come on,” he said, throwing a wink over his shoulder at Cullen, who just shook his head at us. I laughed as we went down the stairs. “He is going to think me completely mad,” I said when we finally got into the room and closed the door behind us. He left it unlocked. Just in case. But I doubted he would come.  
I undressed and with a blissful sigh, stepped into the hot water. Alistair just watched me as I sunk into the deep water. I ducked my head under the surface and when I came back up he was hastily taking off his own clothes. He climbed in and made this happy little giggle. I smiled at him as he walked towards me. “This was your best idea this week,” he said with a grin. I raised a wet eyebrow.  
“All of my ideas are good, Alistair.”  
“Oh. Is that so?” he asked as he moved closer to me in the water. I nodded. His arms encircled me and he pulled me against him. I wrapped my own around his neck and he kissed me softly. “Do you think he’ll come?” he asked me. I shook my head.  
“Probably not. Let’s give him some time. We have nowhere to be for a while. And Leliana said we can stay as long as we want.”  
He lifted me in the water, wrapped my legs around his hips. “Well since we have time, how about I make use of that time by making use of my wife?” His voice was low and just that alone sent an excited shiver racing down my spine. I kissed his jaw. “Make use of me?” I asked, playing coy.  
“Oh yes. I missed her fiercely today, until she came and trounced me in the practice ring.”  
I laughed. “You could have taken me just fine. You held back for the recruits. Don’t be a baby,” I teased. Then his hand was on my butt, and all thoughts of “Alistair” and “baby” fled my mind as heat swamped my body.

  


**Cullen** **-**

 

I stood outside the bath door. I could hear them talking. About me presumably. And I had no idea what to do. My hand itched to open that door. To take them up on their offer. Their very odd offer. Because it had been so long since I had really had any worthwhile intimacy with anyone. Years. I pressed my forehead to the wood.  
Ally moaned, making blood rush from my head to my groin. I stifled a groan of my own. This was the last thing I needed. Romance problems. Two of them if they were serious. I was hanging onto my control by a very strong but single thread. Every day was a new challenge and Leliana meddling was going to be the death of me.  
Allayna. Maker, she was really here. Making love in the bathing pool I used often to ease my sore muscles. To Alistair, that silly recruit who had ran through the mess naked as the day he had been born. With almost no shame. Not that he had much to be ashamed of really. I adjusted my pants and after hearing a splash, and Alistair groan, I had to leave. I made my way back up to my office, and after locking my doors, I went up to my room. I dropped my armor onto the floor, yanking my tunic off over my head. When I unlaced my pants and pulled them down, the relief was almost painful.  
I took myself in my hand, closing my fist around my cock. And my mind flashed back to when Allayna had hers there, pumping slowly and steadily, and I laid back onto the bed, my body remembering what my heart refused to.  
  
  
**A Week Later** **-**

 

Alistair sat next to me at the table in the garden. Cullen sat on the other side, and they were playing chess. I was just watching, and trying to get Cullen to talk more than his silly terse answers he was always falling back on. I had a plan. A mildly devious one. I had already talked to Alistair about it. And after discussing it with Leliana, I had a place to hatch my plan. There was a warm pool outside of the castle, and I planned to kidnap Cullen. For some rest and relaxation. Or fun. Or something.  
“Cullen?” I said, interrupting his frown.  
“Allayna?”

“Do you have plans this afternoon?” I asked.  
“Not as of yet no. Why do you ask?” He eyed me warily.  
I smiled. “Because Leliana suggested you show Alistair and I to the warm pool down the mountain. She said you knew the location better than she and I would love to see it.”  
“Oh. I could send Scout..” he started to say. I sighed dramatically.  
“Why are you so DENSE?” I hissed. He sat back in his chair and rubbed his face.  
“I’m not dense. I just don’t know what you want.”  
“Do I really need to give you a written invitation? Do you want me to spell it out for you?” I asked. I stood up and leaned over the table. Luckily we were the only ones in the garden. No one to overhear my outburst.  
“You are going to escort Alistair and I to this stupid pool. And there, I am going to bathe in said pool. You, out of your ridiculous sense of duty, will stay there. And probably torture yourself. Because that’s what you do. So fucking well. Now. I need to go get actual clothes on. And if I stay here I might light your stupid fur cloak on fire because you FRUSTRATE me to NO END, Cullen Rutherford!” I yelled, before storming off.  
  
****

**Alistair** **-**

 

“Well that went better than I had hoped,” I said with a wry smile. My skin was still tingling from her flash of power. She slammed the door leading back into the hall.  
Cullen sighed. “I don’t understand either one of you,” he muttered. I shrugged.  
“We’ve had an interesting life. You look death in the mouth enough times, you get over the little things that make other people uncomfortable. I walked in the fade a few months back and was sure that I would be leaving her a widow. I.. that was worse than the thought of dying. Hurting her that much. Can I tell you a story?” I asked, suddenly sure he needed to hear this.  
“If you must,” he replied.  
“A few years back, we met up with an old friend of ours in Antiva. See, after she left the tower, and after she rescued said tower, Allayna was angry for a while. I never asked why, not then. Because it made her formidable and strong. She and Zevran were a couple for a while, but she broke it off. And then there was me. Awkward, virginal me.”  
“Maker’s breath. Do you have to tell me this?”

“Yes. I want you to understand her. She was so willing to love. All of us. She embraced us as her family. Zev became the sexy best friend, Leliana the comfortable confidant. Wynne was her new grandmother. And me? I was the prize. She treated me like gold. When I chose to not take the throne, she supported me, yelled at Eamon for trying to make me be king. She.. was magnificent. How could I not love her?”  
I stood up and stretched. Started to pace. “She made the hard decisions when we were fighting the blight. She made hard decisions a lot. And she stood strong in the face of disapproval from Weisshaupt. And she never faltered. When we found Zevran in Antiva a few years back, she was sad. Inexplicably. And Zevran made her smile. Which made me smile. And when he made her sigh with pleasure, it made me sigh with pleasure. Do you understand? I would give her anything, to see that smile on her face. When you carry the weight of the world one too many times, the smiles can become hollow.” I stood next to him, put my hand on his hunched shoulder. Leaned down and said quietly. “She smiles when she speaks of you, and somewhere deep inside her she wants to help you. Heal whatever hurt you still harbor. And I want her to, because if anyone needs her, it’s you.” He dropped his head into his hand and sighed. I squeezed his shoulder and followed Layne back into the castle.

 

I found her in our room, pacing. Little flashes of light followed her in her agitation. When she saw me she stopped and just sighed. “Did I ruin things?” she asked me, worry in her voice. I shook my head.  
“We’re going to the pool. Are you ready to go?”

She pointed to the saddlebags by the door. I pulled her into my arms, and she willingly wrapped herself around me. I pressed my mouth to her hair, inhaling her still unusual scent. A mix of Andraste’s grace and vanilla. “Am I doing the right thing?” she whispered.  
“I don’t know. But we can try. If that’s still what you want,” I said quietly. She nodded. Looked up at me with those green clear eyes. “Are you really alright with this?” she asked me.

I grinned. “Honestly? I want to see where this goes. He’s struggling for sure. And you are nothing if not a thorough sort. And the look you get on your face makes me want to explore all of the things putting it there. You are a terrible influence, by the way.”  
She blushed and sighed. “Let’s go.” I whistled as I followed her out the door. Today should prove interesting.

 

 **Allayna** **-**

 

I rode my horse between Alistair and Cullen, with Cullen leading us through the dappled sunlight between the trees.  
“It’s not much farther,” Cullen called back over his shoulder. He had seemed to relax, the farther we got from the castle. He had told us a good chunk of the history of the castle, the surrounding grounds. How they had stumbled on the pool when Dorian, a Tevinter mage, well his horse had issues with bees in a jar and ran off, dumping the poor man into the warm water. We had some good laughs. When we finally got to the pool, Cullen and Alistair made sure the horses were well tied. I wandered down to the poolside. There was a small waterfall, and the water looked fairly deep. I took a breath. Looked back, and seeing both the men still busy I hastily stripped and walked into the water.  
I sighed, it was gloriously warm. I ducked below the surface and when I surfaced, Alistair was sitting on a rock at the side of the water. Cullen came walking back and when he saw me.. He looked very confused.  
“Maker’s breath. What are you doing?!” he asked me, swallowing. Alistair looked at him, raising an eyebrow.  
“Looks to me like she is enjoying the warm water. What do you think she is doing?”

I smiled up at Cullen. “What do you think we brought you out here for?”

“I honestly have no idea..” he started to say, but his blush said otherwise.  
“Oh. Yes you do. Undress.” I said it quietly, and to make it easier, I turned away and moved under the waterfall. I let the warm water run over my head, noisy and amazing feeling. I could hear Alistair saying something, and Cullen answer. But I waited. Until I felt the water shift around me and a hand touching my back. I wiped my hands over my face, turned around and there they both were, in the water with me. I gave them a bright smile. Alistair ducked under the water, wetting his hair. I sighed.  
“Cullen, do you want me to spell out what I wanted you out here for? Would that help you?” I asked.  
“I don’t know if I..” he started. Then he just looked at me. “Please?”  
I nodded and waded through the water until I was right in front of him. I stood fully, the water barely covering my nipples in the water. He was straining to keep his eyes on my face. I lifted my hand and put it on his chest, over his heart. “We, yes I said we, want you to be with us.” My voice was still quiet. His pupils dilated, his heart sped up. “I want to help you. And, honestly, this feels right.”  
He looked to Alistair who had moved to stand behind me. He shrugged. “You need something. And you aren’t finding it at Skyhold. Beyond that, can you honestly say you don’t want this?” Ah, Alistair. Ever the wise, if not adorable man.  
Cullen looked up at the sky. Sighed.  
“I can’t say I don’t. But what.. Will this affect you?”

I put my hand to his cheek and drew his gaze back to mine. “Yes. It will affect me. And Alistair. And you. I hope in a profound and moving way. If anyone needs profound moving, it’s you,” I said with a gentle smile. He closed his eyes. I stood on my toes and pulled him down, kissing him. His eyes shot open, and for a moment I thought he would fight me. Then his arms were wrapping around me, and he was kissing me back like his life depended on it. I pulled his mouth open, and he needed no invitation to give me his tongue. He gave this soft sound, like.. Surrender. He pulled me closer, my breasts crushing against his chest, his cock starting to harden between us in the water. Alistair sat on a rock under the water, quietly watching. Cullen pulled his mouth away.  
“Are you sure..?” he asked, his eyes frantically searching mine. In answer, I reached down and wrapped my hand around him. Hummed low under my breath. “Remember this?” I asked him with a grin. His eyes closed and his breath hitched,  
“Maker, yes,” he moaned. I stroked him slowly, his cock hotter than the water we floated in, hard and satin soft. He shuddered.  
“It’s been so long,” he whispered. I nodded. “I dream of you,” he whispered again. I smiled.  
“I’ve dreamt of you,” I told him. His eyes opened.

“Why?”  
“Because you always mattered to me. You were the.. The first to touch me,” I took his hand and mimicked what I had done so long ago, “And you were the first man I loved. The first man I touched.” He shuddered when I stroked him again, and guiding his fingers over my lower folds, he touched me the way he had all those years ago.  
I pressed my lips to his jaw, and when his hand hesitated with mine, I pulled it away. He looked at me and I just smiled.  
“What do you want?” I asked Cullen. He looked confused. I rubbed my thumb over his bottom lip. “Name it. Anything.”  
“We never.. Before. We never did…” he started to say, a blush stealing up his chest.

“Is that what you want?” I asked quietly. My heart was slowly hammering away in my chest.  
His eyebrows lowered, “What about..” and he looked at Alistair.  
“I can just stay here, or join. This is at your pace, Cullen.” Alistair said it quietly. Reassurance.  
“What do you want?” Cullen asked. Alistair stood up and walked over to us. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands coming up to cup my breasts in the water. Cullen took a ragged breath. Then he put a hand behind my neck, pulling my mouth to his. Heat exploded in my stomach, making me tremble. I wrapped my hand around Cullen’s cock again, and when he pressed his hips closer I knew I had him. Alistair slid a hand down my stomach, between my legs to touch me. Grazing his fingers over my clit, I moaned into Cullen’s mouth. He pulled away, smiled down at me. He shared a look with Alistair, and satisfied with what he saw there, he bent and lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist. I gasped, not expecting it so soon.  
“Are you alright?” he asked, and I just gave him a bright smile. Alistair held my sides and let Cullen set the pace for what would happen.

“I saw you..” Cullen said, out of nowhere.  
“Saw me?” I asked.  
“No.. the first night you came to Skyhold. Apparently the window to my bedroom looks into your room.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Did you enjoy the show?” I asked, practically purring at him. He swallowed.  
“I.. I did. Actually. Surprisingly.”  
I laughed.  
“I would hope so. Nothing quite like watching Alistair at his finest,” I winked. He gulped. I shifted my hips, drawing his cock against my lower lips, and he about fell apart in my arms.  
“I’ve never watched like that before,” he admitted, his voice shaking. I kissed his jaw.  
“Did you watch any of the other times?” I asked, shifting my hips again. Ah but he felt.. Glorious. Friction, even just that little bit was making me mad.  
“I did. Apparently. You two.. Have a lot of sex,” he sounded grumpy.  
“Well, now we three can have a lot of sex,” I whispered lasciviously . His eyes widened. Alistair laughed behind me, pinching my butt.  
“You want to do this again?” Cullen asked. I chuckled.  
“I want to do this as many ways as we can. I have a feeling once.. Will never be enough.” His eyes closed. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his ear, “Cullen. Make love to me. To us, please,” I begged with a desperate whisper. He nodded once.. Then twice. His hand moved between us, guiding his cock to my entrance. With a slow thrust, he finally entered me. My eyes closed and my head fell back, a low groan escaping me. He buried himself deep inside me, and stood there trembling but otherwise unmoving. Alistair put his hands on my stomach again, sliding them up to my breasts, his mouth on my neck. I shuddered in their arms, and when Cullen finally started moving, I almost died. One of Alistair’s hands moved to my neck, moving my face so he could kiss me. Cullen gripped my hips, driving his cock into me with fierce determination. I was moaning into Alistair’s mouth, and when his other hand moved from my breast down my stomach, to between my legs. His fingers found my clit, and within seconds I was writhing against them both. I grabbed Alistair’s arm, the one between my legs, my fingers digging deep. He pulled his mouth from mine, and his lips moved to my ear.  
“You are making the sexiest sounds, love,” he whispered, his breath sending shivers down my spine. I pulled my head away from Alistair, and pulled Cullen's mouth back to my own. This was a soft kiss. One that drew Cullen’s full attention, my tongue sweeping into his mouth, drawing it back into mine. His heart thudded heavily against my chest, and Alistair stood to my side, his hand still between my and Cullen’s bodies rubbing slowly at my clit. I pulled my mouth from Cullen’s, biting softly at his bottom lip. He growled at me, and his hips pumped even faster.  
My body was swamped with sensation.

The warm water.  
Alistair’s hands.  
Cullen’s chest against mine.  
His hands on my butt.  
His cock, thick and deep inside me.

My eyes closed and I gave in.  
Dove head first into the raw need they were feeding. When I finally came, my whole body reacted. My legs tightened around Cullen, my fingers dug into his arms. My head fell back against Alistair’s shoulder and my back arched. A harsh cry ripped from my throat. Throbbing and pulsing around Cullen’s cock, my orgasm finally sent him to his own. With a fierce low cry, he ground himself against me, digging as deep as he could go, his seed spilling like lava inside me. He shuddered in my arms every time my body gripped his cock tight. Alistair quietly removed his hands from me, letting Cullen have his moment. His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth almost grim. I chuckled softly, rubbing my thumb over his lips.  
His eyes shot open and he finally.. Smiled back. A beautiful smile. One reminiscent of those days in the tower before the world came crashing down.  
“Welcome back, Cullen Rutherford,” I whispered. I leaned forward and kissed him again. He responded by wrapping his arms around my back, crushing me against his chest. After a few moments, he set me back down in the water, reluctantly withdrawing from my body. I places a soft kiss on his chest. “Go sit down and relax for a few minutes. There are some towels and a couple blankets in the saddlebags.”  
He nodded and after kissing my forehead, on shaky legs he left the water. I watched him get a towel from one of the bags and wrap it around his hips. Then he sat on the edge of the water again.  
I walked over to Alistair, and even through the water I could see how aroused he still was. “Would you like some attention, my love?” I asked him quietly.

“Not really. But I can give you some,” he said with a wicked grin. I raised my eyebrow and before I knew it he had picked me up and carried me to stand in front of Cullen. He took my hands, and after kissing each one he handed them to Cullen. “Hold these for me, will you?” he asked. Cullen just nodded, threading his fingers through mine, confusion and raw curiosity clear on his face. Alistair moved behind me. His hands rubbed a soft path up and down my back, across my sides and hips, then up my my stomach to my chest. His hands drew my breasts out of the water, thumbs and fingers gripping and tugging at my nipples. In the cooler air outside the water, they hardened instantly in his hands. He scraped his teeth along my neck and shoulder, his breath cool on my clammy skin.  
“Now, it’s my turn,” he said in my ear. Heat, swift and thick, made my stomach clench and my body start to throb.  
He took a deep breath then disappeared under the water, nudging my legs open. Then his mouth was on me under the water, his tongue lapping at my clit while his fingers slid inside me.  
I gasped when he scraped it lightly with his teeth, my knees almost weakening under the onslaught from his mouth. He finally left me and surfaced, gulping in the air. He rubbed the water from his face and hair, laughing at my pained chuckle. Cullen absently rubbed his thumb over my hand, watching Alistair and I with razor sharp focus.  
He grasped my hip with one hand, and his cock with the other. He placed his cock between my legs, up against my already throbbing arousal, then thrust his hips, rubbing it against me. Again. And again. I dropped my head against Cullen’s knee, moaning at the sheer overwhelming need Alistair invoked with a few simple thrusts of his hips. When his hand spread my legs again, he moved his cock and finally.. Finally pressed it inside me. When his hips pressed against my butt, I sighed. Cullen lifted my face, “I want to watch this,” he said quietly. Which right there was my undoing.  
Alistair started to move, long sure thrusts that drew agonized little sounds from me. I couldn’t even focus on looking at Cullen at that point, my head falling back as Alistair quickened his pace. Then his hand was gliding from my hip around to between my legs, fingers instantly on my clit. I groaned, gripping Cullen’s hands tight, as Alistair started to pound into me harder and harder. The water sloshing around us, the cool air almost cold in comparison to the fire being ignited inside me.  
Cullen made no protest of my death grip on his strong hands, and the closer I got, the harder I gripped. Alistair stopped thrusting, his cock still buried deep, and his hand moved. Making swift tiny circles on my clit. Within seconds I was gone.  
I yelled, body erupting with tremors. Alistair groaned a few seconds later, thrusting his cock once, then twice. My body clenching and gripping his cock, his cock pulsing and hot, spilling deep inside me. His face pressed to my back as he shuddered against me. I started to slip into the water as I lost the use of my legs, and chuckling he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me back up. I gasped, when his cock moved inside me, making me twitch. When I finally had enough of my mind back, I looked up to find Cullen watching us with.. Almost feral hunger on his face. The towel around his lap did nothing to hide his new erection, and with a quick whisper in my ear, Alistair moved me forward.

I pulled my hands away and pushed Cullen’s legs open. Cullen just watched me as I got closer to him, and when my hands moved to open his towel, his hands shook as they tried to help. I took his cock in my hand, thick and red and hot, and stroked him gently once. He made this low sound in his chest. When I stroked him again, he shuddered. I took another step closer, up onto a low rock in the water, to bring my mouth to his cock.  
I ran my tongue up the underside of his cock, from his sac to the tip. He almost expired on the spot. I wrapped my tongue around the tip, before gently sucking it into my mouth, sliding my lips down his wide shaft. His hand dived into my hair, needing an anchor. Then I started to bob my head, my hand following my mouth, my saliva making it slide in and out of my mouth so easily. Using my free hand, I ran my fingers gently up his thigh, grazed them along the underside of his already tight sac and then up his stomach. His muscles twitched and clenched under my hand, and when I pulled my mouth from his cock with a satisfying popping sound, he almost fell over. I used both of my hands then, wrapping them each around him, pumping them up and down, twisting my fists as I moved them. He laid back on the rock, his body no longer fighting what I was doing.

Alistair pulled himself out of me, brought his hands up my chest to hold me against his as I quickly drove Cullen towards another orgasm. Cullens’s hips were thrusting his cock deeper into my hands. I smiled, watching his body tense as he approached the edge. I leaned forward and licked him once more, a long slow lick, terminating with a swirl around the head of his cock. Then he was crying out, and hips bucking, his seed spurting onto my hands and his stomach. I kept stroking him, until the last of his tremors was through and he started to relax in my hands. I kissed his thigh and with a satisfied grin at his ragged and shaky breathing, I rinsed my hands in the water. Alistair climbed from the pool, grabbing a towel for each of us.

He helped me out of the pool and once I sat down between them, he took a breath and laughed.  
“So you really did enjoy yourself?” he asked Cullen.  
Cullen looked over at him, still sort of dazed.  
“I think I really did. Did I really… twice?” he asked, surprise evident in his eyes. I nodded. He rubbed a hand over his face and with a quick practiced motion, he slid off the edge of the pool into the water to wash himself off. I watched, my head cocked and my teeth nibbling at my bottom lip. Alistair laid down behind me, rubbing his hand on my back, his head propped on his hand. “You alright?” he asked me quietly. I looked back at him and smiled.

“I am peachy. Not sure how I am going to be walking in a bit but I am more than good. Are you?” I asked, rubbing a finger down his nose. He caught it between his teeth, nipping it softly. “I am perfect. I love you,” he said quietly. I smiled again, “I love you more,” I answered.  
And I knew we were going to be alright. We both watched as Cullen scrubbed himself off in the water, and when he caught us watching, he gave us a shameless smile. He climbed back out of the water and wrapped his towel around his waist again. Alistair stood up and grabbed a blanket, spreading it on the grass beyond the rocks. He came back and helped me to my feet, finished drying me off with my towel before laying me on the blanket. “Come lay down Cullen,” he said quietly, while he fetched the other blanket. With an odd look, Cullen came over and laid on the blanket next to me. I rolled onto my side to face him, my wet hair dangling in my face. He tucked the hair behind my ear.  
“Why are you guys doing this?” he asked. I sighed.  
“Why does there need to be some big profound reason? Can we not want you for the sheer reason of.. Just wanting you? Wanting to help you and heal you? Erase that dark shadow from your eyes? Give you something to smile about?”  
He just took a breath. Alistair finally laid down behind me, pulled my back up against his body. I laid my head on my arm, and just looked at Cullen. Giving him the chance to take or to leave. He scooted closer and took my offered hand, placing a kiss on my knuckles.  
“You do know I have no idea what I am doing here, right?” he asked. I nodded.  
“We know enough. And you’ll figure it out, if you want to. No hurry.”  
He closed his eyes and sighed, and with that, I closed my own and dozed off under the dappled sunlight.

 

When I woke up a little while later, both of the men were still sleeping. I sat up between them, just watching them. Cullen laid on his stomach, his hand still where ours had been folded together earlier. Hair tussled around his forehead and his face really relaxed. Alistair had rolled onto his back, one hand under his head and the other under the blanket. I could only guess where it was, but from the looks of things he was probably holding himself. I sighed. I was in real danger here. I loved Alistair wholly, he was in all reality the reason I was still sane and alive and as healthy as I am. But Cullen? He was the first I had ever really loved in my life. Losing him had been the hardest thing since being taken to the tower to happen to me in my short life.  
Life before Alistair. Before the blight, before the world changed so drastically.  
I laid back down, on my back. I stared up into the sky and wondered if I had done the right thing. Then when I felt eyes on me some time later, both of them were awake. And with no one saying anything, they both touched me and we got lost in each other, all 3 of us, for hours.

  
And when the sun began to set, we packed up our things, silently dressing and heading back to Skyhold. We all sat together to eat a huge supper. Thus began a tentative nightly ritual. Eating our evening meal together. Me retiring early and them eventually joining me in our tower room. Cullen would leave the room before the sunrise, and find his way back to his own room to help allay suspicion. And we would unerringly find ourselves back here again night.. After night.


	2. Over The River And Through The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The find a new normal, until Cullen is temporarily removed from Command.  
> They abandon Skyhold for a while, and while gone, disaster strikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild Trigger warning -  
> There is a scene in which there is an attack and attempted sexual assault. I'll mark it with   
> \---  
> Before and after so as to make it easier to skip.

**A Few Weeks Later -**

 

We fell into this strangely comfortable routine. The three of us. Alistair and I would retire for the night, and once the keep had fallen silent, Cullen would join us. Sometimes we laid there talking deep into the night, reminiscing, telling wild tales of what had befallen us during the time ‘between’. Sometimes, we would fall into an exhausted sleep before anything else could happen. Other nights.. Those were the ones I would always cherish.    
Some nights, Alistair would watch. Some Cullen would. And others, no one watched and everyone got what they wanted. It took coaxing, and copious amounts of raunchy promises I never welched on, to get Cullen to go a little further into the realm of ‘three’. Stolen touches, and whispered secret thoughts got us through the long days. Training, reading, and exploring, all things we did to fill the light of day. When the Inquisitor was in residence, we would try to be a little more circumspect, trying not to draw his attentions. The Iron Bull that was a shifty fellow, and had us pegged for what we were within a week of the first time at the lake. He even offered me advice on occassion. Which I did not relay to the boys, as it was mostly about me. “If you decide to love him, Warden, do so kindly. He’s had enough heartbreak in his lifetime,” he warned me more than once. I had assured him I had no intention of hurting the Commander. “Good, because that smile you’ve both brought to his face is the best we’ve seen there. Don’t take that away,” he said with a wink of his good eye, and a tilt of that wildly tall head, before sauntering off into the tavern.    
I sighed and stood up from the seat I had stolen in the library. The keep was oddly quiet today, most of the troops out on maneuvers, and Dorian off with Bull and the Inquisitor. I tucked the book I had been reading into the crook of my arm, and with a quick stretch I made my way back downstairs and out onto the little bridge to Cullen’s office.    
Stopping halfway across, I found Cullen and Alistair talking to a few of the remaining troops. New recruits, from what I could recall. I leaned on the rock wall, watching them. Cullen tended to talk to his troops passionately but firmly. Alistair used his hands and grand gestures, with a great deal of enthusiasm. He always deferred to Cullen and his position. Which worked well, especially when Cullen deferred to Alistair in the bedroom. I smothered a yawn and with a shrug, seeing as they were both busy, I made my way back to our room. I left a quick note on Cullen’s desk, and once I was in our bedroom, I disrobed and crawled into the bed. Last night had been gloriously long. I sighed and laid in the center of the bed, pulling the blanket up over my naked body. All I could smell was  _ them _  and it was enough to comfort my frazzled brain to sleep.    
  
A while later I awoke to hands brushing the hair from my face. I opened my eyes and found Alistair laying in front of me.    
“Mmm, hullo,” I murmured, reaching up to caress his face.    
“Hullo to you too, you delectable creature,” he said quietly, smiling. I stretched on the bed and pushed up on my elbows. “Food? Did you bring me food?” I asked, as my stomach growled from the smells wafting about the room.

“Well, of course. You slept through supper, by the way,” he replied, grinning at me as I crawled from the bed, taking the blanket with me. I walked over to the table and almost wept with joy. I grabbed a roll and tore off a chunk. Watched him watching me as I slowly chewed it.    
“Why is it that watching you eat is almost an erotic thing?” he asked. I almost choked.    
“What is erotic about my eating?” I asked around the roll. He propped his head on his elbow. “I have no idea, really. Maybe it’s how much you enjoy it. Or the little sounds you make when you are really hungry and want it. You sound like that when I’m inside you. We’re inside you,” his voice got husky the more he spoke. I sighed.    
“Alright. No. Let me eat. Stay there,” I warned him as he started to sit up. He just splayed his hands in front of him like he was all innocent.    
“What?” he asked as he stood up and walked towards me. He just kissed my head and winked at me as he moved to sit at one of the three chairs at the table. I raised my eyebrow and snatched another roll. He pulled me onto his lap.    
“Mmm, this is better,” he muttered, watching me struggle to eat and keep the blanket wrapped around me. “Why must you do this to me?” I mumbled around the roll. His fingers tugged the blanket from my hand. He sighed with appreciation, running a finger down the side of my breast.

“Because you, my dear, are all sorts of sexy when you're still all tousled from sleeping. Your eyes are all heavy, hair mussed, and your pale pretty skin flushed.” He grinned at my appalled expression.

“I'm nothing of the sort, you sick sick man,” I argued. He just shrugged and continued touching me. Goosebumps chased his lazy trail of fingers, around my breast, across my chest, down my side. He chewed his lip when he took a nipple between his fingers, rolling it gently, watching it harden under his attentions. I reached for a piece of bacon and munched on it while he just.. Continued exploring my body. Like he had done thousands of times. I tried to ignore him. But, alas, the man knew what he was doing. My stomach was growing hot and my hunger rapidly changing from one sort of appetite to another.    
I heard the door open behind me, and without even looking I greeted Cullen with a half a wave, then continued eating more bacon.    
“Ah, so she finally woke up, did she?” he asked, locking the door with an audible thunk. I looked over my shoulder at him, quirking an eyebrow. He was wearing a simple tunic, his brown linen pants and his sensible boots.

“Is my napping an issue?” I said around my bacon. Alistair chuckled. “Not at all, love. We played some Wicked Grace with Varric. Drank a good bit. Enjoyed ourselves. If that's alright?” he asked with a smirk. I raised my eyebrow and shrugged.

“I had an interesting dream while I napped,” I spoke up. Alistair gave me a look, and Cullen sat in the other chair at the table, filling a glass with some berry mead, handing it to me. I took a sip and debated telling them. I drank more and set it down. I climbed off of Alistair's lap, leaving the blanket behind, and went to the dresser. Pulled out the set of ropes I kept in there. Dark teal silken cords that were strong but gentle on the skin.

“Can I show you?” I asked. They looked at each other then each of them nodded reluctantly. I crooked my finger at Cullen, beckoning him. He got up and walked to me. “What game are you playing Ally?” he asked me with a wry smile. I have him a grin and dropped the ropes onto the bed. I pulled a the ties on his tunic, loosening the neck. I pulled it free of his pants and he took it off. I ran my fingers over the scars on his chest. Rubbed my thumb over the scar on his lip.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you still are?” I asked him. He started to blush, and shook his head. I pulled him down to kiss him. “You are. I promise.”

“Ally,” he started to say but I pressed my fingers to his mouth. I slid my hands down his chest and stomach, to the button on his pants. I popped it open and then the next and the next. Pushed his pants down his hips. He toed off his boots, and stepped out of his pants. He stood there naked as I was, and was doing an admirable job at not looking worried. I pressed my lips to his chest, over his heart that was beginning to speed up even as I touched him. I looked up at him. “Lay on the bed. In the center. Please?” I asked, barely suppressing a grin.

“Alright.” I could hear the reluctance on his voice. But he complied, crawling up the length of the bed to lay on pillows I had so recently vacated. I crawled up the bed after him, grabbing the ropes on my way.    
“What are you doing?” he asked me, looking over at Alistair, confusing marring his handsome face. Alistair just shrugged at him.    
“I am going to tie you to my bed. Is that alright?” I asked him, smiling innocently. He raised his eyebrows.    
“Now hold on, Ally,” he started to say, but my hand softly trailing up his thigh quelched what he was going to say. His muscles twitched under my fingers, and when I reached his hip his cock stirred against his legs. I raised my eyebrow, “Still uninterested?” I asked, before kissing his stomach below his belly button. He sighed.    
“You are very odd,” he grumbled. I held my hand out for his, he gave his right one to me. I kissed his palm before pulling it towards the corner post. I took one of the ropes and tied it around the corner, then looped it twice about his wrist, securing it. He held the bit stretched between his hand and the post. I swiftly climbed over him and did the same with his other hand, his eyes intently watching me as I did so. “You know, I’ve never done this before,” he said, a bit of disgusted curiosity in his voice. I laughed. “New experiences are good for the soul, Cullen,” I teased.

I moved to the foot of the bed and took his feet, tying them separately but looping the rope around the support under the center of the foot of the bed, so he could move his legs a bit. I moved back up to kneel next to him. “Have you ever let a man touch you the way I do?” I asked him baldly. He slowly shook his head, his eyes widening. I thought a moment, “Can I blindfold you?” I asked.    
He nodded. I kissed his lips quickly before climbing back over him to go to the dresser and grab a scarf. A pretty black one they had used on me several times. I crossed back to the bed and sat next to him. “You two have given me most of the attention. Now, it is your turn. I won’t do anything to hurt you or whatnot. But if you want me.. Us.. to stop, just say so. What is your least favorite food?” I asked.    
“I hate brussel sprouts,” he mumbled. I laughed, “Say ‘brussel sprouts’ and we immediately stop,” I said. He nodded.    
“Brussel sprouts?” he mused. I nodded.    
“Alright then. On with it,” he said, swallowing. I grinned and leaned over him to secure the scarf. Once I made sure his eyes were fully covered I took a breath. Alistair stood up and started to undress quietly behind me. I grasped Cullen’s chin and started to kiss him, a soft brush of my lips against his. He nearly held his breath, and I tugged his bottom lip with my teeth.    
“Relax,” I whispered, placing a kiss on his jaw. Then one on his neck, his shoulder. Collarbone and the middle of his chest. I laid my ear on his heart, and the steady fast rhythm was reassuring. I kissed his stomach, running my hands down his side. Goosebumps followed my fingers, and his stomach quivered under my lips. I moved to kneel between his legs, and his breath exploded from his body when I wrapped my fingers around his fairly aroused cock. I pumped my fist, once.. And twice. Leaned down and wrapped my lips around the head, slowly drawing him into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tip, feeling his legs tremble against mine. I sucked as I pulled my mouth away, and his hips tried to follow me. I grinned at Alistair as he sat down next to Cullen on the bed. He leaned over and kissed me.

I started stroking Cullen again and Alistair put his big hand on Cullen’s stomach. Cullen’s head twitched, and his nostrils flared. But he didn’t protest.

I leaned down and licked his cock, from base to tip, and the sound that escaped his lips was something close to a man being strangled. I sucked it into my mouth again, and his moan this time wasn’t so strangled as I pulled him deep into my mouth. I moved my mouth, keeping semi-constant pressure on his cock, my tongue rubbing down the underside, my hand following my lips, long wet strokes that made his entire body shake. Slow at first, long and leisurely, then a bit faster. I slipped my other hand between his legs, my fingers grazing his sac, making him twitch against my hands.    
I kept this up, fist and mouth pumping up and down his cock, as I watched Alistair slide his hand up Cullen’s chest, to gently roll his thumb over one nipple, then the other. I squeezed his cock gently, and the gasp he let out wasn’t one of protest. I started to bob my head a bit faster, and Alistair moved to nuzzle one of Cullen’s nipples, before twirling his tongue around it. Then he moved to the other, lightly grazing his teeth over it this time. Cullen shook under me, and it was.. Rather fascinating.

“Are you alright?” I heard Alistair ask him, and the answer astonished me as much as it did Alistair, “Perfect. Really. Fuck,” he mumbled, his hips starting to buck under my face. I pulled my mouth from him with a resounding  _ pop.  _ His breath exploded from his chest and he laid there breathing heavy for a moment. His cock was impressively aroused, standing straight and thick, nestled in that dirty blonde hair I had come to admire. I shifted to straddle his right thigh, and as Alistair leaned over to press his lips to Cullen’s chest again, I wrapped my right hand around Cullens cock, and my left around Alistair’s. I moved my hands, stroking them both at the same time, up.. And down.. My thumbs caressing the heads of their cocks lovingly and attentively.    
Alistair chuckled against Cullen’s chest, “Do you want to know what she’s doing right now?” he whispered to Cullen. He stroked his hand up Cullen’s chest to his neck, his thumb sliding up and over Cullen’s mouth. “She’s got a fist wrapped around both of us, stroking me as she strokes you,” he said quietly to Cullen. I watched his face, what I could see of it around the scarf, and his mouth tensed for a moment. I stroked a little faster, both of their hips pressing cocks deeper into my hands. Cullen’s mouth opened under Alistair’s thumb, his tongue darting out to lick his lip, wetting Alistair’s thumb while he was at it. Alistair’s cock twitched in my hand, his stomach visibly tensing.    
Cullen swallowed, then he whispered, “Kiss me.”    
Two simple words. Alistair looked back at me, and I nodded. He leaned further forward, his cock slipping from my hand, and his lips gently grazed Cullen’s. I scooted back, and took Cullen’s cock in my mouth again, my eyes on their joined faces. Alistair pulled Cullen’s chin down, and he deepened the kiss, drawing a low moan from Cullen’s throat. I watched with avid fascination, as their first kiss was far more erotic than I thought possible. Slow, and methodical, Alistair’s tongue sweeping into Cullen’s mouth with ease. And, if anything, Cullen actually became harder in my mouth, hotter and his hips were thrusting it deeper into my throat.    
I pulled my mouth from him again, and sat up a moment to assess. Alistair followed suit, motioned me forward. I crawled up the bed on Cullen’s left side, leaning down to lick and tease his nipple. Alistair did the same, and taking my left hand, he wrapped both of our fists around Cullen’s cock, squeezing him gently as we stroked him together. And damn if I wasn’t wet and throbbing at the feel of Alistair’s hand with mine, firmly stroking Cullen. His hips started to thrust his cock deeper into our hands, and I could see his sac tightening. I leaned up and whispered in his ear, “How do you want to finish this?” He swallowed. Thought.    
“Inside you,” he whispered back, “but I want to watch your face.” I shrugged and pulled the scarf from his face. He blinked several times, his pupils huge and deep. I smiled at him. Alistair released my hand, and I moved to straddle Cullen. His eyes were wide and staring at my face. I scooted down and rubbed my own arousal up the length of his cock, once.. And twice.. “You.. are a witch,” he said through gritted teeth. I laughed, then reached between us, holding his cock and guiding myself down onto it. I gave this low moan as he filled me, and when I was seated firmly on his hips, I gave him a look. Shifting my hips, I drew myself almost completely off of him, before taking him again. He chewed his lip, watching me start to bounce lightly on his cock, my hands moving from his hips to my breasts.    
Alistair shifted on the bed, laying against Cullen’s side, his hand moving to between Cullen’s pelvis and me, finding my clit, giving it a gentle rub. I could feel my entire body jerk at that, that’s how sensitive I was. He turned his head to watch Cullen’s face as I continued to move. Then Alistair called a halt.    
“Hold a moment,” he said with a grin, hopping off the bed. I sat still on Cullen’s hips, his cock throbbing deep inside me. It was nearly torture not to move, but when I saw Alistair coming back to the bed with a little bottle of oil in his hand, I felt my brain nearly implode.    
“Really?” I asked him, my voice husky.    
“Yes, it’s my turn,” he said with a grin. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. He moved to climb onto the bed behind me, and my heart started this slow hard dance in my chest. I leaned forward, resting my chest against Cullen’s, giving him an angelic smile. “Is he..?” Cullen asked, sort of. I nodded. I could hear the stopper being popped out of the jar behind me, and the scent of the oil wafted through the air. I could hear the wet, slick sounds of him slathering some over his cock. The bed shifted under us, and he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Sit up a bit, love,” he said quietly. I did so, and his other hand snaked between Cullen and I to claim my clit with his fingers. My fingers dug into Cullen’s chest as Alistair’s hand rubbed my body back into a frenzy. I was throbbing over Cullen’s cock, my heart hammering and my ears starting to ring.    
Then Alistair was pushing me forward just a bit, his hand still touching me, a finger slowly pressing inside my other entrance. My head fell forward and I tried not to fall forward, heat flooding my entire body. Alistair kissed my shoulder again, before giving me a second slick finger. Softly, he pumped them in and out of me, and it was all I could do to not move with him. And.. his fingers were gone, his cock replacing them, gently pressing forward. I moaned when he slid inside me, his cock hot and slick, filling me as much as Cullen did.    
I leaned down just a bit, and shifted my hips forward, drawing myself off of them just enough, before I pushed back and they filled me again. Then they started moving, me captured between them, Cullen’s hips shifting up, when Alistair’s were back, and they started this in-tandem thing, one in.. one out.. Again and again. My face fell forward onto Cullen’s chest, and Alistair’s fingers never stilled against my clit, tight little tiny persistent circles.    
It continued like this for hours? Minutes? I couldn’t even tell, my body was no longer my own. Sensation, and heat, and pure raw need took over, my mind simply reveling in what they were doing to me. Cullen was trembling underneath me, and Alistair panting behind me.

And then? I was gone, my body claiming the orgasm with such force it surprised even me. Muscles clenching down on their cocks, pulsing and so wet, I came hard. I was moaning with each of their thrusts, as their thrusts drew the intensity of the release, making me twitch and shake. Cullen tensed on the bed under me, his hands gripping the ropes as my body claimed his own release. His well muscled arms shook as his entire body twitched beneath me, his cock throbbing and hot, spilling deep inside me.

Alistair pulled his hand back, gripping my hip as he continued thrusting, my muscles still gripping him tightly. Less than a minute later, he finally followed suit, grinding his hips against my butt as he spent inside me as well. I collapsed on Cullen’s chest and he just laid there staring up at us. I reached out my arm and untied his left hand, before flopping back onto the bed. He reached over and untied the other, then after shaking his arms for a bit, he grabbed my hands and raised them to his lips.    
Alistair finally pulled himself free, and after a soft slap to my butt, he slowly climbed from the bed. He knelt and untied Cullen’s feet, then went to grab towels. I laid my ear on Cullen’s chest, listening to his still racing heart as I watched Alistair clean himself off. I was still twitchy, and thus far less willing to move than he had been. I took a breath and pushed up to look up at Cullen. “You alright?” I asked, my voice husky and rough. He nodded, “And you?” he asked.    
I chuckled, then moaned when it made my body tense over his still half hard cock inside me. He chuckled and smoothed the hair away from my face.    
“Is it usually that intense?” he asked.    
I thought about it for a few moments. “Yes and no. It can be even more intense, when you see nothing the entire time. All you can do is feel, it’s astonishing the things it does to your head. Thank you, by the way,” I said with a smile.    
“For..?”   
“Trusting me. Trusting me enough to do this,” I gestured to the bed posts and the scarf laying by his head. “It takes a great deal of trust to let someone take away your movement and your eyesight.” I pulled myself off of him, and laid down on my back next to him on the bed. Alistair brought us both towels, and after things were cleaned and such, Cullen climbed from the bed to drink several glasses of water. I crawled up the bed and untied the ropes, handing them and the scarf to Alistair. Then I proceeded to lay in the center of the bed and yawn.    
“Didn’t you sleep the afternoon away?” Alistair teased me, climbing onto the bed next to me. I shrugged. “You two make me tired,” I said with a grin. A grin that broke with another yawn. Cullen laughed and went to douse the candles, before joining us there. I rolled onto my right side, facing Alistair. He kissed my nose then rolled away from me, snuggling his butt up against my legs. I pressed my face against his back and sighed. Cullen pressed his chest against my back, his thighs curling up under mine, and his hand covering my stomach. I smiled and entwined my fingers with his, marveling at how.. Amazingly normal this all felt. Wrapped up in the arms of two of the best men I had ever had the pleasure.. Of meeting.

 

  
**The Next Morning -**

 

I awoke the next morning pinned to the bed. I tried to stretch but my leg was completely numb. I looked down through groggy eyes, to find Cullen’s head asleep on my stomach, and Alistair’s right leg thrown over both of mine, and Cullen’s hand on his knee. I looked up to find Alistair watching me. He just smiled and kissed me softly.    
“He is so very out,” he whispered to me. I nodded, threading my fingers into Cullen’s soft messy curls. His breath tickled my stomach and I just sighed. Alistair kissed my head and cuddled closer to me. I went back to sleep being used as a pillow. It wasn’t a bad thing, after all.    
  
A bit later, I was alone when I woke up again. The men sat at the table, quietly eating. All the dishes from the night before were gone, and in their place was a hot breakfast. Cullen was fully dressed, and Alistair was sitting there in unfastened pants, bare feet and no shirt. He was cradling a cup of what I assume was coffee. Cullen was reading a stack of papers and Alistair looked bored out of his mind. I pushed up on my elbows and watched them for a few moments. Alistair finally noticed me awake, “Good morning again, love,” he said with a wink. I sat the rest of the way up, taking the blanket with me.    
“Good morning, you two,” I said through a yawn. “Is there more coffee?” I asked, hopeful for some of that amazing coffee they had here. Alistair held up an empty glass then pointed to a covered pot on the table. I yanked the blanket from the bed and gingerly crawled from the bed. My legs were weak, deliciously weak, after the night before, and I blushed as I walked towards them.    
“You’re walking a little slow, you alright?” he asked, not bothering to hide his satisfied smirk. I stuck my tongue out at him and snagged the empty cup, holding it out to him. He filled it then shifted on the chair, offering me a seat. I sat on his lap and took a sip of the coffee. Black glorious richness, with a hint of chocolate. He rubbed a hand over my back, and when I looked up, Cullen was watching us.    
“Still not a morning person?” he teased, dropping his papers onto the table.    
“Never will be either,” I said with a mock scowl. Who would want to be anyways? He chuckled and sat back in his chair. “So, I was thinking,” he started to say, rubbing a hand over his face. I just raised an eyebrow and drank my coffee.    
“There’s a cabin down the mountain a ways, far less than an hours ride from here. In a small copse of trees, it’s a fully functioning cabin. Running water, bathing room, full kitchen. Big enough for 6 or 7 people to stay comfortably in. We used it for some of the Wardens when they were staying here during the worst part of things. It’s been sitting empty for months. Leliana suggested I offer it to you for the duration of your stay,” he coughed, blushing. “And she said if I wasn’t needed around here, I probably wouldn’t be missed if I go do stuff for a few days at a time,” he mumbled. I chuckled into my coffee. Poor boy was totally embarrassed about wanting the 3 of us to have more privacy.    
“Is that what you want?” I asked him quietly.    
“It.. is. Actually. This had been beyond enlightening, I am just worried someone will walk in and that it could hurt you two.”   
I sighed. He was the one would be ruined if people took it the wrong way. HE was the one in a position of importance. I set down my cup and shifted to face him, holding out my hand. He reached out and took it, worry on his face. “We can do whatever you want. You want to go sleep in a cabin in the woods? Let’s do it. If you want to stay here? Let’s do it. But, don’t do it for me and Alistair. This is about US. You, him, and I. It’s not just him and I, then you.”   
“What are we doing?” he asked.    
“Right now? Eating breakfast. As a whole? Whatever we want. You aren’t obligated to anything you don’t want to be, but after last night.. And the last few weeks, do you think this is nothing?” I asked him. He shook his head and sighed.    
“I can see this going so much further,” he whispered. I nodded.    
“It can. If you want it to. I’m a patient person,” I said, making Alistair snort behind me, “usually. And we’re in no hurry to be anywhere. So if we want to go play house in a cabin in the woods? See how it goes? Why not?”

He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to my knuckles, and a little frisson of heat raced through me. “I could easily find myself falling back in love with you Ally,” he said, looking down at the table.    
“Hey, what about me?” Alistair protested from behind me. I kicked him with my heel, “What? I’ve got feelings too,” he muttered. It was all I could do to not laugh.

“Is loving such a bad thing?” I asked Cullen. “Maybe you need a little love,” I suggested. Alistair rubbed a hand over my back. “Take it a day at a time. No one is asking you for a commitment you aren’t ready for, and we have nothing but time for the moment.”    
He nodded and stood up to leave. I, however, kept his hand and stood, pulling him into my arms. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his face into my neck. I stood on my toes, my arms around his shoulders, tightly gripping him. He took a minute, just holding me. When he tried to pull away, Alistair joined the hug, “Group hug! Affection for everyone!”    
Cullen laughed and with a long suffering sigh, stayed where he was, in  _ our _  arms. And it felt right.   
  


A few minutes later, we let him gather his papers and head back to work, and I went to sit on the bed. Alistair joined me, grabbing my hand and pulling it into his lap. “Are you alright?” he asked me. I nodded. “I am. Better than I could be. I am actually mildly intrigued by the idea of the three of us being completely alone in the middle of nowhere. Would that be satisfactory?” I asked him with a smirk. He pursed his lips and tapped a finger on his chin.    
“Honestly, it probably wouldn’t hurt anything. Besides, it would be better than this silly little room. And think of all the possibilities..” he said with a grin, pulling my hand to his lips. I rolled my eyes. “Not everything is about sex,” I mumbled. He outright laughed this time, before I knocked him over. Where he laid laughing some more. I kicked his butt and left him there. He finally quieted and watched me dress.

“You know, you'll have to cook for us out there, with no kitchen staff to be had,” he said with a frown. I threw my boot at him, and when it hit his chest with a solid thump, he flopped back onto the bed, playing dead. I just snorted at him and left him there, leaving the room and him with the dishes. I could hear him yelling at me as I crossed to Cullen's office. I knocked before entering.

“Come,” he called out. I opened the door and gave him a sunny smile. “Let’s do this, the cabin thing. I think it sounds fun. And relaxing. And we can get to know each other in a less right environment.” I sat on the corner of his desk. He eyes my hip, propped there all inviting like.

“You think so?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, just watching me. I picked up one of his quills, twirled it between my fingers. I nodded, “I do. And I think you want it.”

His eyebrows lifted, “Oh you think so?” he asked, his voice rough.

I nodded slowly. “I think you need some time off anyways. You are far too stressed,” I replied, hopping off the desk and slipping behind his chair. I put my hands on his shoulders and pressed my thumbs into his muscles. He groaned and slumped under my hands. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “Come on, Commander. Let's go exploring.”

His hand came up and covered mine. “Alright then. Let me talk to Leliana and we can go from there,” he said gruffly. I kissed his head and tried to leave. He caught my hand and pulled me onto his lap. I gave him a smile and smoothed his hair away from his forehead. He caught my hand and kissed my palm.

“Anyone can walk in,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “I don't care,” he whispered back, before tucking a hand behind my head and kissing me. This kiss was a different breed altogether. Slow and languid, his tongue tickling it's way into my mouth, wrapping around mine and drawing a sigh from me. I wrapped my hand around his wrist, fell into the kiss. I melted against him, my body reacting on a deeper level than I thought possible at this point. When he finally pulled his lips from mine, I sat there a moment, dazed. He gave me this satisfied smile, before giving me one last rough kiss before standing and depositing me onto my feet. I gave him a look, one promising retribution, before scurrying out the door to the keep.

I kept myself busy in the library, trying to stay out of the way. I stole a cushy chair in a corner and sat reading for a while. A few hours later I heard a throat clear. Looking up I saw a man standing there with the curliest mustache I had ever seen.

“I believe that is my chair,” the man said, putting a hand on his hip. I put a look of shock on my face, glancing around and studying the chair.

“I see no name on this chair, ser. Maybe you are mistaken?” I said with a raised eyebrow. He chuckled.

“They're right, you do have sass. My name is Dorian Pavus, at your service.” He executed this over-exaggerated now and stood back up with a flourish.

“Dorian? The Bull has told me all about you,” I said with a mock sneer. The man had the grace to blush.

“All.. About me?” he muttered. I laughed.

“It was all good, though it was the Commander who told me about the pond.”

“Damn that pond. How much do you know about me?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You love Antivan liquor, your taste in books runs very parallel to mine, you and the Bull are quite possibly the best couple ever and you have a thing for soft silken ropes.”

He blushed again. “Well that’s more than I know about you,” he mused. I raised an eyebrow. “Given your proximity to the Bull, I'm sure you'll know plenty more than you bargained for soon enough.” I stood and stretched, tucking the book into my arm and gave him a sunny smile.

“Since I don't really know you, I'm going to ask this. When Bull tells you, as I'm sure he will since you are his Kadan, please don't spread things about. I have no reputation to protect here. But Cull… The Commander does. Be kind?” I asked, before leaving him to his thoughts. I could feel his eyes on me as I left the library and headed down the stairs. I nearly walked into Cullen as I crossed the rotunda. He was staring at the painted wall. I walked over to him and gave his cheek a kiss.

He jumped, then gave me a smile. “Well hello there,” he said. I grinned up at him. “Are you alright?” I asked.

“Leliana had given me new orders from the Inquisitor. I am to take an extended leave of absence. A vacation, if you will. Effective immediately. I am to stay out of Skyhold for two months,” he said, his voice low and… surprised. “Bull will train any new recruits with the aid of Krem and Jim,” he added. I raised my eyebrows.

“They're kicking you out of Skyhold?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

“Apparently working oneself into the ground is unsatisfactory and with things calm, now is the perfect time.”

“Well the cabin..” I said, before stopping myself.

“Leliana did this you know, to get me to go.”

I nodded, fairly sure he was right. She was taking care of the Commander, without his permission.

“Is this a problem?” I asked quietly.

“I.. Well I don't rightly know. Two months. Not allowed to work for two months.” His shoulders slumped. I looked around, all the doors were closed. I dropped my book onto the desk there and standing on my toes, I pulled him into my arms. He gripped me tight, his face pressing against my neck. I whispered in his ear, “You've given them everything for a couple of years now. It's time to take care of you. Let us help.”

He nodded. I pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. “Everything will work out. I promise.” He nodded again. I tossed caution aside and kissed him. He melted against me, his heart stampeding about in his chest. When I pulled away, his eyes were all glazed over and he looked more at ease. I smiled and patted his cheek. “Go pack. We have things to do,” I said. He nodded, rubbed his face again and left to go to his room. I went to leave but I felt .. something. I looked around. Then I looked up, found Dorian staring down at me, his mouth agape. I waved with my fingers and made a shushing motion with my finger to my lips. He just stared as I left. Hopefully Bull would put his mind at ease. I made my way back to the tower room, to find Alistair sitting on the end of the bed.    
“Hello,” I said, closing the door behind me. “I have news!”

“Which is what?” he asked.    
“Cullen has been summarily dismissed for at least two months. They are banishing him on vacation. In other words, Leliana made it happen, so we have him for at least that long.”    
He whistled. “Really, now? I guess we need to go see what this cabin is about, how big the bed is,” he added with an eyebrow wiggle, “and what kind of provisions we’ll need. Pack up, we can head out then figure it out from there.” I nodded and moved to the dresser, pulling out what few things we had tucked into the drawers, tossing the clothes behind me into a heap on the bed.    
“You know, one of these days you might act like a woman, and respect good clothing a little better,” he mused from the bed. I turned around and laughed, he had one of my shirts hanging from his head. I bit my lips, trying not to laugh more as he jerked it from his head. “That color suits you, love,” I said with a snort. He dropped it with the rest of the clothes and got up, stalked over to me. I pressed back against the dresser, quietly still giggling. He splayed his hands against it on either side of me, essentially cornering me. “Will you be nice to the clothes? They are all we have with us, you know,” he asked, making me laugh again. He was the one who typically ruined clothes. Well ruined mine anyways, tearing things to get at me and such. I ran my hands up his chest, straightening out his collar. “We should go into town and grab some clothes anyways. For both of us. We have mostly travel clothing and having some comfortable stuff to lounge about in would be nice.”

He pursed his lips. “Are you sure? You want to make me shop again?”

I just nodded. “I will keep you out of the dressing room this time. Then you can’t get yelled at for knocking your ass against the wall,” I teased, loving the blush that stole up his neck.

“You goaded me into coming into that little tiny room, Layne,” he mumbled. I nodded. “Didn’t mean you had to fall for it…”

He laughed. “You are.. I don’t know.” He sighed, then kissed me quickly before moving to the bed to start to fold and roll the clothes to pack them. About a half hour later, we had most of the stuff back into the saddle bags, and were donning our traveling armor. A knock sounded at the door, and when I called out, Cullen entered looking very bewildered.    
“Bull.. just kicked me out of my own office. Said it was his until I returned. Then he asked me how sturdy the desk really was. I don’t want to know why,” he mumbled, dropping his packs by the door. I ushered him to a chair and he sat there shaking his head.    
“I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted,” he mused, running his hand through his hair, making it stand up every which way. I smoothed it out for him and he just sighed.    
“Are you ready to go?” I asked him. He nodded. “I don’t have much to take with me. Bull made me leave everything. I’m not allowed any work at all. It’s preposterous,” he muttered. I smothered a laugh.    
“It’s alright to take a break every now and then, you know. You can’t be on duty every second of every day for the rest of your life,” I reminded him. He just raised an eyebrow at me.

“What do you know about my being on duty all the time?”    
I snorted. He smirked, and we both said at the same time, “Leliana.”   
Alistair laughed at us, and finished with his own belongings. We grabbed everything and headed down to the stable. They gave us some horses, and I was actually envious of the horse Cullen had. A gorgeous black destrier, a definite war horse. Tall and proud, and as enamored of me as I was of him. He nudged me and ignored Cullen altogether. I pet his face, whispered some sweet words in his ear and he went to Cullen like I didn’t exist again. The men just stared at me. I shrugged and mounted my own horse, petting her mane and asking her to be nice to me and offering the same in return. Leliana cleared her throat from the door. She walked over to me and gave me a pouch of coins.    
“Take care of them,” she said with a grin. I nodded.    
“Of course. Depends on them though. We are going to go to the cabin first then head to town to get anything we might need. Furniture or whatnot.”   
“Oh, I took care of the furniture. The smaller beds have been brought back to the castle, and I had an extra large one delivered. Along with a table and chairs, enough provisions for a few weeks. You can hunt or whatever to supplement what I sent.”   
I laughed. Of course she would. “Thank you, you are spectacular as always,” I said to her. She leaned closer, her hand on my leg. “No, thank you,” she said quietly. “I don’t think he would go if you weren’t the reason. He would work himself to death and that would be the end of him. You.. you’re saving him. So, thank you,” she said again, her smile soft. I nodded and tried not to sniffle. Damn the woman.    
“Let’s go,” Alistair said, trotting off towards the front gate. I followed and made sure Cullen did as well. His horse ran up alongside me, bumped my leg with his nose. I swatted at his face and he nipped at me gently.    
“I do not know what has gotten into him!” Cullen exclaimed, shaking his head and trying to control the destrier. I laughed. “I have a way with animals, don’t worry about it. He just likes me,” I said with a grin, “don’t you, you gorgeous creature?” I asked the horse, rubbing my hand down his nose again. He shook his head around and moved away again.    
Cullen just stared at me as we left the keep, crossing the bridge and heading out into the forest. Cullen eventually found his way into the lead and unerringly took us straight to the cabin. Took almost 2 hours to get there, because we kept talking and and getting side tracked, but when it came into view, I loved it at first sight. A dark brown and green, it blended in rather well. If Cullen hadn’t have pointed it out, I would have missed it. Gorgeous stained glass windows on the big front door, a stack of firewood outside by the wall. There was a small walled in garden full of green growing things. When we stopped in front of it, dismounted and headed around to the back with the horses, there was a small stable attached to the cabin. 4 open stalls, and a stack of hay bales and grain buckets. I shook my head. Leliana thought of everything. The men put the horses away and I started taking things inside. The bed Leliana had gotten us was amazing. Big and fluffy and strong, dark wood shiny and smooth. I ran my hand over the corner post, and laughed at the huge dark green curtain hanging from the ceiling. I tugged it and it swung around the bed.

I walked into the kitchen area and was amazed to see all the provisions in there. I hadn’t really cooked in a while, but this would be fun. I checked the cold box under the sink, and there were rabbits and some haunches of what I would guess was druffalo meat. A basket of eggs, a few jars of milk. I turned and started opening cabinets. Dishes, and liquor and spices and I was in awe.    
I moved back into the main room, loving the huge couch that sat in front of the fireplace. There was a massive bookshelf, full of books of all sorts. And on one of the small tables by one of the windows, there was a stack of blank papers and a bunch of pencils. I almost cried. She remembered. I used to spend hours sketching everyone back when we were saving Ferelden from the Blight. I had spent a lot of sleepless nights drawing as a way to pass the time. Wynne used to tease me about how many sketches I had of Alistair in various states of undress. I started to unpack my packs, and was just finishing taking the top dresser drawer when the men came in, laughing and talking.

“The horses are in for the night, and holy Andraste, there’s enough books to keep you busy what, a week?” he asked with a chuckle. I threw my boot at him. He ducked and it hit Cullen. Who scowled at the both of us. I led them into the bedroom after depositing my boots by the door.    
My feet made no noise on the smooth wood floor, and when I entered the bedroom, Alistair whistled. “Now that is a glorious bed,” he said, awe evident in his voice. I grinned at them and went to the corner post closest to the door. “I think this might be the prettiest bed I will ever get to sleep in,” I said, running my fingers over the post. I grasped the curtain and swung it around, and Cullen laughed. “Privacy in the middle of nowhere?” he teased.    
“I like it.”    
“I can see that. If you like it, I guess it will do.” He winked at Alistair.    
I just rolled my eyes and told them to take the other dresser drawers, and went through a small door in the back of the room. I squealed when I saw it was a bathing room, with a rather large bathing tub. Big enough for at least 4 people, deep and with a handle on the wall with a faucet above the tub on the ceiling. Alistair poked his head in, “Oh look, a bathing tub. Guess we know where  _ she’s  _ going to spend all her time!” he quipped before leaving as quick as he came. I could hear them talking out in the bedroom and when I went in there, they were perusing the small closet there. I squeezed between them to look, and found a bunch of clothes hanging there, dresses and cloaks, boots and shoes and house slippers on the floor. Attached to one of the hooks was a letter with my name on it.    
I took it down and opened the envelope. Unfolding the sheet of paper inside, I read it aloud.    
  


**_Allayna,_ **

**_I hope you find this soon after getting to the cabin, I wanted this to be a surprise for you. You deserve the pretty things. I remember how you used to sigh over the pretty clothes in Denerim, and how you loved what the Arl gave you to wear to the ceremony when Anora was crowned. You.. you are a spectacular person, and the kindest I know. So I give you the gift of beautiful things. Call it a belated thank you, from the Inquisitor and I. Take care of them, and yourself. And dress in the clothes, they are now yours._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Love forever and always, your friend,_

**_Leliana_ **

 

The paper slipped from my fingers and I stepped inside the closet, running my fingers over some of the finer fabrics. Teals and purples, deep greens and brilliant blues. Whites and blacks, dusky grays and silvers. I pulled a dress down and almost cried. It had.. Been so long actually that I couldn’t even really remember when I had last worn a pretty dress. Alistair wrapped his arms around me from behind. “She’s right you know. You deserve the things. Is this.. Is this what you’ve been wanting?” he asked me quietly. I shook my head and turned in his arms, putting my hand on his chest. “No. I am more than content with our life, Alistair. They are beautiful things though, aren’t they?” I asked with a smile. He nodded and kissed my forehead.    
“We can settle down somewhere and make this possible if you want it,” he offered me. I shrugged. “Right now is perfect. Thank you though,” I said, kissing him. He sighed and left me to play with the clothes for a few minutes. When I finally emerged from the closet, both of them had changed into loose pants and shirts, bare feet and silly grins aimed at me. I just shook my head and left them, went to the kitchen. I made a small simple meal for us all, some roasted potatoes with herbs and butter, small biscuits and some roasted spiced rabbit. We sat at the small table in the little windowed nook, and said little as they enjoyed it. “Well at least you can still cook,” Alistair offered, as he got up to clean off his plate. I squinted at him.    
“Well, I enjoyed it. Thank you, Ally,” Cullen said to me with a smile. He kissed my head when he got up to do the same. Alistair stuck his tongue out at Cullen who just shrugged and winked at me. This whole.. New banter of sorts was fascinating. Cullen came back and grabbed my plate when I finished, “Cook relaxes after the meal, we’ll clean up,” he said, and the accompanying whine from Alistair was well worth it. I laughed and left them to it. I made my way out to the main room, and curled up on the couch in front of the fire. It was far more comfortable than I had thought it would be. I snuggled with a pillow and laid there, staring into the fire.    
I was alone in the middle of the woods with the two best men I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. We were going to act all domestic and like a family for the better part of two months. Alone. My stomach grew hot. This was a whole new level to whatever this relationship was. After a few minutes more, I felt myself dozing off. A while later I was awakened by being carried to the bedroom. Alistair stood me at the foot of the bed and began to undress me. When he finished I crawled up the bed and climbed under the covers next to Cullen. He gave me a sleepy smile. A few moments later, Alistair curled up against my back, snuggling his face into my neck. We were all asleep within seconds.    
  
The next morning, I awoke first. Cullen’s butt was pressed against my side, and Alistair was asleep on my pillow, his mouth against my shoulder, his hand on my stomach. I sighed. I drifted back to sleep. A few hours later, something tickled my nose. I slapped it away but with a giggle it came back.    
“Alistair, do you wish me to kill you?” I mumbled, rolling onto my stomach and ignoring him. I felt the blanket being pulled from my body, and his hand on my back. Lips at my ear, and breath sending a shiver down my spine. “Time to wake up, my love,” he whispered, knowing what it does to me. I tried to bat his face away, but I missed. Then his hand slid down my back and over the curve of my hip.    
“Is she usually this difficult?” I heard Cullen ask.

“Oh, worse at times. At least she doesn’t have her dagger,” Alistair teased. Cullen laughed.    
“Feisty,” he said with a chuckle. I smiled against the bed. They sounded happy. I stretched on my stomach and my hand came in contact with Cullen’s leg. I scratched at it and his muscles bunched under my fingers. Alistair turned me over onto my back, smoothing my hair away from my face. He kissed the scar on my cheek. “Good morning, you delicious creature,” he said with a grin. I sighed. “Good morning, you silly man.”    
He plopped a kiss onto my lips and sat up. I leaned up on my elbows, and he pointed to Cullen. Who was leaning against the massive headboard, all sorts of naked and mussed from sleeping. His hair in loose curls around his forehead, his skin fuzzy. I raised my eyebrow and he crooked a finger at me. I scooted back and he pulled me in between his legs, his chest hot against my back. He kissed my head, “Good morning,” he said, his voice husky. I smiled.    
“What are you two up to?” I asked. Alistair shrugged and Cullen slipped his hands around my stomach, then up to my breasts. “We wanted to say thank you for a superb supper last night,” Cullen said in my ear. I shivered as his fingers caught and tugged gently on my nipples. Alistair crawled towards me, sliding his hands up my legs, parting them to sit between my feet. He leaned forward and kissed me, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. I sighed, he grinned, then he started to move back down my body. His lips grazing my neck. Between my breasts, my shivering stomach. His hands spreading my legs further, lips grazing my inner thigh. He laid on his stomach, his teeth scraping my other thigh. I twitched beneath his mouth, and he smiled before his fingers spread me. What I saw in his eyes was breathtaking, and when I stopped breathing under Cullens hands, he started to speak low in my ear.    
“We decided that the first time, that we all make love in this amazing bed, would be about you,” his breath tickled my ear. I gasped when Alistair’s lips gently sucked at my clit, Cullen’s hands squeezing me softly. “The sounds you make when we touch you, the way you try and give to us before taking your own pleasure,” he continued to whisper, “we see it. So this, this morning is about you.” One of his hands slid up my chest to my neck, turning my head and his mouth taking mine. His tongue swept between my lips, his hands holding me as captive as Alistair’s mouth was. I could do nothing but feel. Feel a tongue flicking over my clit, dipping inside me, making me throb with need. Hot big hands holding my neck and breast, and a ready and willing cock pressed urgently against my back. One of my hands gripped Alistair’s hair, holding him to me. The other reached up around Cullen’s neck, keeping his mouth on mine. His hand slid back down to my other breast, and both hands started to knead and pull, fingers swirling around my nipples, tugging and tender. Alistair slid two fingers inside me, his lips capturing my clit. I gasped into Cullen’s mouth, his lips smiling against mine.

Heat swirled around inside me, my stomach tensing under their onslaught. I pulled my mouth from his, my eyes closing and head falling back as I started to succumb to their skilled seductions.    
“Maker, your face right now,” he breathed at me, his voice low, “that’s the sexiest thing I’ve seen in a long time.” I tried to chuckle, laugh at all, but Alistair was far too persistent. Within seconds I was bucking on the bed, a strangled low cry escaping me as I fell headfirst into the orgasm. Clenching and throbbing, legs twitching and ears ringing. As my body calmed, and my heart slowed a little, I finally had the mental capacity to look at them both. Alistair sat up and stretched between my legs, his cock hard and red in his lap. I could still feel Cullen against my back.

Alistair pulled me forward until I was laying flat on my back, and he stretched out on top of me. His mouth claimed mine, his cock pressing against my folds, gathering the wet of my arousal. I moaned into his mouth as he rubbed against me. His hands roamed my body, firm touches, send my body into a spiral of sensations. He pulled his mouth from mine and slid down my body, hands and lips accosting my breasts, tongue and teeth, urgency in his every movement.    
A minute or two later, he was straddling my thighs and staring down at me. I just grinned up at him, wrapping my fingers around his cock. He shuddered, and scowled. Well as much as one could scowl while their manhood was being lovingly handled. “This isn’t about my pleasure, get it together woman,” he mumbled. I laughed and stroked him again. His hips thrust his cock deeper into my hands and with a growl he pulled away. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up against him. I could feel the bed shifting as Cullen moved behind me. Four hands roamed my body, lips laying kisses along my fevered skin. Teeth nipped at me, goosebumps marking me as much as they were.   
Cocks rubbing and nudging me, and my hands gently turned away in favor of their promised pleasure to me. “You know,” I panted, between hazy kisses from Alistair, “I love touching you as much as you do me..”

“We know,” Alistair whispered, his lips trailing along my jaw, his hands gripping my butt. Cullens hands slid up my stomach, each cupping a tender breast, his lips at my other ear, “Sometimes your pleasure, it’s everything,” he whispered. I shivered between them, then gasped as Alistair lifted me in his arms. “Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded quietly. I did so, and before I could move, his cock slowly impaled me. I moaned, my head falling forward onto his shoulder. He chuckled, shifting his hips and digging a little deeper. I pressed close, grinding myself against him.    
“Selfish little wench,” he whispered against my ear. I nodded, desperate for more. He finally moved, this long withdrawal, followed by a swift thrust. My fingers dug into his shoulders, urging him on. After a few moments, Cullen pressed against my back, kissing my shoulder. “Can I have some of that selfish wench?” he asked, his lips brushing my skin as he spoke. A shiver raced through me, and Alistair answered, “You did come prepared,” and chuckled. I heard the cork and smelled the sweet smell of the oil we used liberally. Alistair pulled me tighter against his chest, and when Cullen’s fingers touched me, gently pressing inside, I almost died then and there. He pumped his fingers a few times, before adding a third. My stomach tensed, and Alistair’s breath hitched when my body started to throb around his cock.    
Cullen’s fingers left me, but before I could feel that small pang of disappointment, his cock was there, hot and slick. I tensed as he slid deeper inside me, muscles throbbing and my breath ragged. Alistair moved first, his arms trembling, his mouth against my forehead. Cullen followed, his hands gripping my sides, breath hot against my neck. And they moved, thrusting and touching, scorching me from the inside out, mouths and tongues and fingers tracing across my skin as they pushed me closer and closer. Cullen reached between my body and Alistair’s, hand sliding down my stomach, and finding my clit.

They moved faster.. Barely but enough to have me shaking between them, uneven breaths, skin slick and hot. And when they finally pushed me over, my orgasm took us all. I cried out, legs gripping Alistair, hips grinding on him and Cullen’s hand. Pulsing and throbbing, I barely registered Alistair’s own harsh sound as his release took him. But I felt Cullen’s. His teeth scraped my shoulder and his soft strangled sound belied how his body was raging inside me. Twitching and unable to breathe, I kissed Alistair’s neck, trying to soothe him as much as he had pleased me. He looked down at me and gave me the most beautiful smile, and that said as much as everything else. He kissed me, this soft sweet kiss that made my heart sing just a little more inside my chest.

Eventually, amidst soft protests, they laid me on the bed and proceeded to clean things up. When they finished, I laid there yawning, still naked but so well sated. They climbed back into bed with me, and after a little shifting, we cuddled and fell asleep again in the low morning light. Later on, they woke me with a late breakfast in bed, then proceeded to tell me about more things they had found scattered about the cabin. I listened and sipped my delicious coffee, beyond glad that they were already enjoying themselves. Cullen looked years younger already, like a great burden had been lifted from his strong and resilient shoulders.    
Over the next few weeks, we fell into a new string of habits. The three of us did much together, but also took time alone. Or with one or the other of us. Cullen loved to sit and watch me draw, especially when I was drawing Alistair. Alistair would sit and cuddle with me and read. The men often rode off into the forest to hunt small game or to just get out of my hair. We all took turns cooking, or cooked together. And we talked. About a great number of things. Cullen told of his adventures with the Inquisition, and we told him about meeting the Mother, and how we had been hunting for the cure for the blight and ultimately the Calling.    
He had endless questions, a sharp mind and sound reasoning. And every day, as we whiled the time away in our lonely little corner of the forest, I fell for him a little more. Alistair saw it, even encouraged it. Said no one should deny themselves love, and so confident was he that my love encompassed them both that he never once wavered. I held that knowledge close. It was mine for the moment. And until I could make sure Cullen wouldn’t run at the first sight of change, it would remain mine.    
One lazy afternoon, the men went off to do their ‘manly hunting’. I was wearing a simple blue dress, with a low leather belt, silly lace lining the low collar. I had been making some tea when I heard a horse outside. I smiled and wondered why they had taken their horses to hunt. I looked out the kitchen window then, and saw both of their horses, as well as mine, still in their stalls. My heart froze in my chest. I tucked a dagger into my sleeve and went to the front door of the house, in time to find a giant brute of a man climbing from his armored war horse. When he turned to face me, I saw the Templar insignia on his breastplate.

\---

“Hello in there!” he yelled out, walking towards the house. I opened the door warily, “Greetings,” I said, “is there something I can help you with?” I asked, my voice somewhat stiff.    
“Well, you could offer me a drink. Or an explanation as to why you are here?” he said, a slight sneer on his hard face. I barely suppressed a shiver.    
“We live here for the time being. The Inquisitor gifted it to us for a while. Why do you ask?”

“This place just usually sits empty, and now there’s not one, or even two folks just staying here. No, there are three of you,” he said, walking towards me, taking off his gloves. I stood my ground at the door.    
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t give my small streak of fear away. He laughed. It was an ugly sound, derisive and cruel. His body tensed, and as I raised my hand to shield myself a wave of dampening energy hit me full force, flinging me back into the house against the floor. I laid there, my ears ringing, my head fuzzy and pain screaming through my body. Fingers dug into my hair, gripping my head and pulling it off the ground.    
“Now, what could a fancy little mage like you be doing with the Commander of the Inquisition forces? And that red haired fellow, are you just their pretty little dressed up whore?” he sneered, poking a finger at my breast, hooking it into the top of my dress. I fought the urge to gag, and he dropped my head back onto the floor. Then he kicked me. It felt like being hit by a bronto, three brutal kicks to my stomach and side, the final kick leaving an echoing  _ cracking _  sound in the air.. I laid there silently crying, clutching my side. I even tried to scramble backwards but he stepped on the hem of my dress, laughing at me again. He pulled out his sword, slicing away at the taut fabric, revealing more and more of my strained body.   
I tried to summon my magic. Anything. A flicker, and nothing. It felt like sludge inside me, useless and dead. He stared down at me, his arms crossed over his chest. “You should be very worried right now, little bird,” his voice suddenly soft and menacing. He took off his helmet, revealing black scruffy hair, cold gray eyes under huge eyebrows. Swarthy tanned skin, and a sharp mouth under a hooked nose.   
I felt my chest grow tight. He ran a hand through his hair, then adjusted his belt. “I saw you all this morning,” he said, his hand on his chin. I stilled, looking up at him. “Doing those dirty things outside where the world can see you? You should be ashamed of your little whore self,” he said, his face unreadable. The cold lump in my stomach spread. He took off his cloak, dropping it onto his helmet. I tried to move again, and he just raised an ugly eyebrow. He pulled his belt off, sliding the scabbard of his sword free, dropping it to the growing pile.    
“You don’t want to do this,” I managed to say.    
“Oh. And why is that, now?” he asked, gripping his belt buckle before wrapping it around his hand. I swallowed.    
“Because I am not just a mage, nor am I a whore. I am also the Grey Warden Commander in Ferelden.”   
He laughed, and to be honest I couldn’t blame him. I was a small female, ‘diminutive’ was a good way to describe me. “Right, and I am the Black Divine. Why would they make a scrawny little female mage a Commander of anything other than scullery maids?” he asked with another chuckle. I just stayed silent. His hand grabbed my braid, jerking my head back. Fingers dragged my dress off my shoulder, nearly baring my left breast. Sudden pain exploded in my chest as he hit me with the belt, the leather hard and unforgiving. I cried out, trying to summon my magic again.

But still.. nothing.

He swung the belt again, catching the side of my neck. The sting of the leather was nothing compared to the sound of the ringing in my ear. He kept swinging, the belt striking my shoulder, my arm, my cheek. He dropped my hair and moved to switch hands, and I took the chance to pull out my dagger, and stabbed it into his foot. He screeched, and flailed backwards, dropping his belt and losing his grip on my dress. I scrambled to my feet, and dizzily ran for the door. As I thrust it open, his hand tripped me and I fell to the ground with a cry. I kicked the hand holding my foot, again and again until he finally let go, tearing off a chunk of my dress. I scrambled out the door on my knees, and when I got to my feet, I could feel it coming back.    
Magic. My.. magic. I stopped running, holding my dress together and facing him as he limped out of the house. “You, you little bitch, are going to pay for that,” he growled at me. I sneered and beckoned him closer after wiping the blood from the corner of my mouth. As he lumbered towards me, I summoned my staff, and the look on his face when it appeared in my hand would be forever ingrained in my mind. I swung it in an arc towards him, summoning fire and feeding it with all my rage. Fire exploded on the ground around him, a bright angry circle that closed in on him as he screamed and yelled at me to stop. Begging to live. I paralyzed him and the flames, trapping them in an eerie sudden silence. I limped back inside, and managed to find the whistle Alistair had tucked into a drawer. I went outside and reinforced the paralyzing spell, and with the last bit of magic I could manage, I blew the whistle and amplified the sound.    
I fell to my knees in front of that frozen circle of fire, feeling my strength waning. I used my staff to stay upright, and started to cry in earnest when I heard the heavy footsteps running towards me.

\---

They were yelling and calling out, and I just sat there crying. Hands grabbed me as I fell, catching me and lifting me from the dirt. “Ally! Ally can you hear me?”    
I nodded, gasping when I tried to raise my arm to wipe at my face. “What did he do to you?” Cullen growled. He turned with me in his arms, and I saw Alistair standing there staring at everything. I whispered to Cullen that the spell would wear off soon, and if they didn’t want the bastard to die immediately, they needed to remove him from the flames. I told him to put me down against the nearest tree.    
Reluctantly he did so, and between the two of them they wrestled the frozen man out of the eerily cold flames. A few seconds after they did, the inferno started to burn again and the man awoke with a blade pressed to his throat. Instantly, he knew there was no way out. I watched groggily as they interrogated him, swift and angry. And after a few well aimed hits, the man was bruised, bleeding and very unconscious. Cullen went into the stable to get ropes and his horse. He and Alistair lifted the man and tied him to his own horse, before Cullen mounted his. He took off, taking the second horse with him.    
Alistair rushed to me as the others ran out of sight, picking me up carefully and carrying me inside. “I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered when he set me on the couch. I tried to chuckle and wound up moaning instead at the pain radiating up my side.

“This wasn’t your fault,” I said between gritted teeth. “Take my dress off, please. Then burn the fucking thing,” I said. He nodded. He gripped the fabric and finished tearing it. When it finally tore apart and he slipped it down my shoulders, he swore like I hadn’t heard him do in years.    
“Oh, I want him to bring that bastard back so I can kill him myself,” he said, his voice low and hard. I looked down and saw a deep purple bruise spreading across my side, and the lash marks on my chest and arm were red and swollen, a few of the deeper ones oozing blood. My left breast had a fainter lash mark on it, and his trembling hand touched me, before he stood up and began to pace. I shifted on the couch and pulled the dress from beneath me, throwing it towards the fire. It landed in a soundless heap a few feet from the couch. I tried to laugh, but in reality I just started crying again.    
Sitting there, naked and shaking, crying and shivering, I really had to wonder at myself. I had been through worse. I had seen worse. But this had scared me to my core. Alistair left the room and quickly came back with one of the big fluffy blankets from our bed, and then went to fetch a basin of water and cloths. He knelt next to me, and after having me warm the water some, he cleaned the open lashes, including the one on my cheek. I let him do it all, knowing he needed to as much as I needed him to. When he finished, he dumped the water and went to the bedroom for the only healing poultice we had with us.    
He used it, and after savagely kicking the dress into the fireplace, he sat next to me on the couch, pulled me onto his lap and covered me up. I gripped his shirt, pressed my face to his chest and just let him hold me. I have no idea how much time had passed, with him just gripping me against his chest, apologizing again and again for letting something like this happen to me. Then my reassurances that it wasn’t his fault. Or Cullen’s. Or anyone’s other than the man who had done it. We went back and forth, quietly arguing and it was oddly comforting. As the sun was setting, we heard horses approaching the cabin, and before Alistair could move, the door opened. Cullen came in with Dorian and the Iron Bull. They each held various bags and such, and Dorian made little tsk’ing sounds at me when he saw my swollen face.    
“Oh that brute did some damage, you poor dear,” he muttered as he sat down next to us on the couch, reaching into the pack he held. He brought out jar after jar of ointments. “Cullen told us what happened, or what he knew of what happened. The Inquisitor has the man in the dungeons for the time being. I am here to provide magical medical services,” he quipped, just talking to fill the air. Cullen and Bull set their packs down on the floor near Dorian’s feet, and Cullen offered everyone drinks. “Bring your woman something strong, this isn’t going to be pleasant.” I shook my head.    
“Just do what you need to do,” I said, looking the man in the eyes. Sympathy colored the blue there, and he nodded. Bull followed Cullen back to the kitchen and I shifted on the couch, holding my breath and gripping Alistair for dear life.    
“Now, I must see everything, and I am sorry if this is embarrassing. Believe me, it’s no more so for you than myself,” he said with a cough. I would have laughed had I not been feeling like I was breathing shards of glass.    
Alistair sighed and held my hand as I unwrapped the blanket. Dorian’s eyes narrowed as he saw the bruise on my side, and with a soft touch, he laid his hand over it. Heat radiated from his touch, and I could feel the bone of my ribs knitting back together. I squeezed Alistair’s hand, tears streaming down my face. I could feel my body giving into the healing magic he was pouring into me. My head fell to Alistair’s shoulder, and then..

Blissful black.

  
**Dorian managed to heal the worst of her injuries, but Allayna had a bit to recover. Iron Bull and Dorian promised to come back in a week with more healing items, and with news as to what the Inquisitor would do with the rogue templar. Alistair and Cullen took excellent care of their mage, gentle and loving care. Her body was taking longer to heal than she liked, and they refused to touch her while she was convalescing. They found a new rhythm though, found new ways to entertain each other, conversations seemed a bit deeper and their relationship grew by leaps and bounds.** **  
** **Allayna’s injuries showed them that they were more than just a physical thing. A genuine relationship born of mutual trust, need and more. They leaned on one another in ways they hadn’t before, and Cullen fairly blossomed under the attentions Allayna and Alistair gave him. He started writing to his family, reading non-Inquisition related things. They played chess and wicked grace, word games and spent many hours just being together.** **  
** **Allayna encouraged Alistair to pursue Cullen on his own. With her body still needing the rest, she knew that her men would need attentions she couldn’t give them. And Alistair was more than willing, if Cullen would be. He had come to admire and respect the man Cullen had grown into. Held him when the rare night terrors took his mind, they joked and cooked together, good natured. Mild mannered flirting, touches turning less and less tentative. Lingering glances that ended in one or the other turning away, to me.** **  
** **But that is a story for another day….**


	3. I Need You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Allayna still recovering from the attack, the men get restless. With copious encouragement, Cullen finally gives in.

I dropped the book I had been trying to read onto my lap. My brain was liable to start leaking out of my ears soon, I was so bored. I ran a hand through my hair and winced. My head still had a good sized bruise. I sighed. I could hear the men in the kitchen, talking and making their usual noise to cook our evening meal. I gingerly stood up and made my way to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe quietly. Alistair was cutting up some vegetables while Cullen cooked some chicken on the fire. I loved watching them together, especially as Cullen opened up more to Alistair. They had both taken turns staying with me here, so they weren’t getting their alone time out in the wilderness anymore. They refused to let me be alone at the house for the time being. Not that I could blame them.    
Alistair turned and bumped into Cullen, “Oh, sorry about that,” he said with a grin, bumping his hip to Cullen’s in apology. Cullen just chuckled and pushed back.    
“This is a somewhat small kitchen. Bumping into one another is bound to happen,” Cullen teased. Alistair shrugged.    
“Maybe I bump on purpose,” he said with a smirk. He spotted me by the door, and I just held my finger up to my lips. He grinned and nodded, turning his attention back to Cullen.    
“You wh.. What?” Cullen asked, turning to look at him. Alistair shrugged and handed him the bowl of vegetables. “Surely, I don’t need to answer that,” he said quietly. Cullen took the bowl and set it onto the counter.    
“Maybe I want you to,” Cullen replied, crossing his arms over his chest. Apparently the Commander was tired of games. Alistair raised an eyebrow, “Now we are ready for bald truths?” he asked. Cullen nodded, wary but.. Ready?   
Alistair reached out a hand and brushed a finger over Cullen’s cheek. “Will you shy away?” he asked softly. Cullen slowly reached up and put his hand over Alistair’s, holding it to his cheek. “I guess not,” Alistair said with a smile. A beautiful smile, lit his face in a whole new way. Cullen smiled back and… something clicked. The air changed and when Alistair leaned forward, Cullen met him halfway. A tentative kiss, held breath, soft barely there touch. Then it changed. Cullen gripped Alistair’s shirt, pulling him against his chest. Alistair pressed him against the counter, his hands holding Cullen’s face close. Their tongues winding around the other, eyes closing and need fairly tangible in the air around them. I turned to leave them, making my way back to the bedroom. I crawled up onto the bed with a groan and flopped down in the center.    
Someday I would move without wanting to chop my own limbs off. I refused to let either of them go back to Skyhold alone, and thus I let myself heal as a normal person would. Slowly and bitterly. I laid there thinking for a few moments, after fluffing the pillow I managed to snag. 

Maybe finally.. The 3 of us would be truly 3 of us, instead of 2 of us plus 1. I knew that Cullen still kind of felt like he was still on the side. And I wanted more for him. For all of us really. I faded into sleep while I thought of the two men who were not only perfect for me.. But perfect for each other.    
  
I woke when the bed sagged next to me, and a pair of lips pressed to my forehead. I mumbled and pushed a face away. “Love, you need to eat,” I heard Alistair murmur near my head. I opened an eye. “Did you finally get around to cooking?” I teased him. He laughed and kissed my head again, “Indeed. I can see why you are drawn to him. All that contained strength and even now he tastes like..”   
“Sexy honey flavored sin?” I suggested, rolling onto my side. He nodded, eyes wide. Then he squinted at me.    
“What do I taste like?” he mused. I watched his face, “Addiction, chocolate flavored addiction,” I answered, my voice soft. He smiled then, leaning down to take my lips with his. “I miss you, woman,” he whispered before pulling away and holding out his hand. I sighed and took it, letting him pull me from the bed. He kept my hand around his arm and brought me back to the kitchen. Cullen blushed when I walked in with a grin, holding out my chair. I shook my head and pulled his face down for a quick kiss. “Are you alright?” he asked, after scooting my chair under me.

I just nodded, “I’m still healing and apparently being tired is part of it. Healing like a normal person is actual work.. Who knew?” I joked, trying to cover how useless I really felt. It was this gnawing ache inside me but I didn’t dare say anything. Alistair eyed me as he passed me the platter of cooked vegetables.    
“What’s wrong?” he asked. I just shook my head and took a sip of the honeyed mead. Cullen cleared his throat and we all started to eat. When we finally finished, I tried to offer to clean up but they ushered me off to the other room and I sat scowling at the fire. Then I decided to turn my mad into something better. I grabbed my pencils and paper and began to draw them. Their tentative kiss tonight. The eagerness in Alistair’s hands, the needy in Cullen’s. Hard bodies pressed close, lips melded together. I didn’t hear the noises in the kitchen cease or hear them enter the room behind me. When I felt breath on my ear, I squealed and jumped, dropping everything. Alistair grabbed me before I fell off the couch.    
“I’m sorry!” he said, a dry chuckle stopping at the shock on my face. “I wasn’t trying to scare you,” he said. I nodded, my heart racing. Cullen picked up the papers from the floor, the surprise on his own face apparent when he saw the nature of the other drawings I had done.    
“You.. you are really amazing, Ally,” he said, handing the stack back to me after looking at them all. I nodded, feeling a flush travel up my face. Most of them were of the men, sleeping or reading or eating. Living. I drew them from that first night that they had kissed with Cullen tied to the bed. And them sleeping pressed together, tangled limbs and softened faces. “Is that how you see us?” he asked me, sliding onto the couch next to me. I nodded again.    
“Why are there none of you?” he asked then, startling me.    
“Because that’s not how I see.”    
Alistair sat on the other side of me, drawing my feet over his lap. Cullen pulled me back against his chest, his hand folding around mine. “How do you see?” he asked, genuinely curious. 

“You, Cullen, are this quiet force of nature. All strength, harnessed and controlled. But when you let it go, you’re a wild animal, untamed and magnificently free. Alistair, he is raw discipline shaped by necessity but grown out of love of life. You are enormously different men, but so much the same. Honor,” I craned my head to look up into his golden eyes, “and integrity, loyalty and a strength of heart that so many overlook.” He dropped his eyes under my scrutiny. I smiled, “Cullen look at me,” I said. He looked up, “Being broken doesn’t take away from your value. It doesn’t detract from what you have to offer. We’re all a little broken sometimes. And you seem to be healing,” I whispered the last, hoping he would believe me. Because every word was true. His forehead dropped to mine, “You must have me confused with someone else,” he teased, a small smile moving the scar on his lip. I lightly elbowed him and he laughed.    
“So you caught me kissing your husband,” he said then, a new glint in his eye. I raised an eyebrow. “I was there before it started, and had it been an issue I would have stopped it. Is there an issue?” I asked, gauntlet thrown. He pursed his lips, eyes darting to Alistair who just shrugged at him.    
“Apparently not. I will never understand,” he started to say when I laughed. “You understand perfectly. There is no ‘me and him, plus you’, there’s an ‘Alistair, Allayna and Cullen’. Tis that simple, stop playing daft. If it were just the two of us then you, you wouldn’t be able to steal really stellar kisses in the kitchen, or let me ride you while he watches. Or you two cuddling while I’m not even in the bed. This is.. Us. Just because it’s a two letter word, doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of it.”   
Alistair reached out and put his hand over mine and Cullen’s. “She’s always right, you know. You might as well just give in now,” he said, grinning wickedly. Cullen swallowed. “You really mean that?” he whispered. I shifted on the couch, trying not to grimace at the aches it brought on. I put my hands on his face. “Every single word. You belong to us. As much as you and I do to Alistair, and Alistair and you do to me.”   
“What about when I have to go back?” 

“Then we go back and figure it out. Life is a great big box of challenges.” I shrugged. 

“Cullen, she’s the wise one here. Just go with it. And stop doubting us. Please,” Alistair said from behind me, his hand on Cullen’s knee. Gold eyes darted from mine to Alistairs. 

“No more doubts?” he asked. I nodded. Alistair murmured agreement.    
“Then no more doubts,” Cullen said with a sigh. Then.. the air in the room changed. Acceptance had a way of doing that. I kissed him then, my hands gentle on his face. His hands moved to my hips, to draw me forward, but I couldn’t quite contain the gasp from the pain in my side. Cullen pulled away as Alistair’s hand was there pulling up my shirt, a growl filling the room.    
“This is taking too long to heal,” he said, eyes dark when they found mine. I shook my head. “He was not a gentle would be suitor, love,” I said with a small smile. He glared at me. “If you would let us go get you something to fix this then it wouldn’t be a problem,” he muttered. I slapped his hand away. And managed to stand up to face them. “They’ll be back in 2 days. I’m fine enough. Pain is nothing. Less than nothing. I’m alive. Pissed off but alive. Stop babying me,” I growled, before turning and walking out of the room. Ire gave me the fuel to not have to walk slowly to the bedroom, but by the time I got to the bed, ire had turned into something far darker and I was out of energy to even undress.    
I rubbed at my face, irked at the tears I couldn’t seem to stop. I gripped the corner post of the bed and pressed my face against the cool wood. Who wanted all these feelings? My chest felt tight and I was seriously drowning in want for them. But my side ached from the kicks, and my head hurt from the floor and I was angry that I had even let him get close enough to hit me with the dispel. I blamed me as much as him and I couldn’t even explain it properly. Nor could I explain crawling out of bed in the middle of the night to sit in front of the dying fire because all I could see were his evil eyes as he knifed my dress, or the sound his boot made when it connected to my side echoing in my head all night long. How right now using magic was actually painful and mildly terrifying and that I felt like that bastard had stolen something from me even though I had won. 

More tears coursed down my face as I slid to the floor. This was a problem I couldn’t readily fix and that aggravated me more than I could admit out loud. I laid my head against the bed and just let the tears fall. Quietly and endlessly it seemed. Until I felt a pair of hands lifting me off the floor and onto the bed. Alistair sat next to me and pulled me onto his lap, arms trapping me against his chest.     
“I’m usually the injured party, and I forget that sometimes,” he muttered into my hair. I nodded against his neck and gripped his shirt. I felt another hand on my back, and when Cullen spoke, his voice was soft. “If you’re allowed to worry for us, aren’t we allowed to worry for you?” 

I sighed.    
“I’m not used to being on the receiving end of it, that’s all. And if that cursed bird would come back I could have sent for more potions days ago.”    
Cullen chuckled and laid back on the bed, an arm under his head. 

“I’m usually the ‘fixer’, and this not being able to ‘fix’ is making me a little daft. I’m sorry,” I said to them. Alistair kissed my head and set me back onto the bed.    
“Nothing to forgive, love. You are a human, even if you do sparkle beautifully sometimes,” he said with a wink. I pushed him over and he laid here looking up at me like a little lost puppy. I laughed. Couldn’t help it. Even if it did hurt.    
A while later, I was propped against the headboard of the bed, my drawing supplies in my lap, and the men playing cards in the center of the bed. So far, Cullen was winning, as Alistair was sitting there in his pants, the rest of his clothing lost to the game. Shrewd, that was lightly putting it. Cullen was trouncing Alistair on purpose, and I was interested to see where it would go.    
Alistair dropped his cards with a look of disgust. “You win. Again,” he said with a mock frown. Cullen just waved his hand, gesturing to Alistair’s pants.    
“But this is my last article of clothing. Won’t I be at a disadvantage?” he sneered. I just laughed.    
“Don’t be a sore loser, take off the pants and let me enjoy looking at what I still can’t have,” I teased him. He gave me a look, before standing on the bed and untying them. The loose pants fell from his waist and I just watched, with raw admiration for that which was still mine. Ours, if the look on Cullen’s face was to be believed. Alistair lazily scratched his belly before sitting back down on the bed, crossing his legs.    
“What do we play for now since I have nothing left to remove?” he asked, his voice suddenly far more serious than before. Cullen stayed silent, thinking.    
I spoke up. “If you win Cullen, you get something of your choice. A kiss? Caress?”    
He perked up at that, “Excellent idea. And you get to just… keep trying to remove my clothing,” he said to Alistair with a grin. Alistair just smirked, giving me a wink. He shuffled up the cards and dealt their next hand. A few minutes later, Cullen laid down his cards, triumphant again. Alistair dropped his and leaned back on his hands. “What now, ser-Wins-a-lot?” he asked. Then he waited.    
Cullen thought, and with a last look at me, he got up onto his hands and knees and moved towards Alistair, pulling him forward for a kiss. Gentle and tentative at first. His hand diving into red fluffy hair, pulling Alistair closer as he deepened the kiss. Tongues and teeth, tugging on lips and shallow breaths. When he pulled away, he looked as dazed as Alistair.    
He sat back down and with shaking hands shuffled the deck of cards again. I pulled my knees up to my chest, my papers forgotten next to me. Alistair took the cards Cullen dealt, and a few short minutes later, Alistair was whistling as he laid down his hand. “And, look, I’m not totally terrible at this game,” he said with a grin. Cullen shrugged and waited.    
“Off with your pants, good ser,” Alistair said. Cullen stood on the bed, much as Alistair had done minutes before. When his pants were gone, he sat back down, a flush coloring his cheeks as he adjusted his shirt. Alistair shuffled the cards and dealt a new hand. He gave me a look when he saw his cards, and I knew he had a winning hand. But when Cullen went to lay down his cards, Alistair sighed dramatically and declared himself a poor player. I covered my mouth, stifling my laugh.    
Cullen crooked his finger at Alistair, who crawled across the bed, to be pulled into his arms. He straddled Cullen’s lap and took his face, kissing him before Cullen could even breathe a word. This was no tentative kiss. This kiss held all that need and passion he had been holding back for fear of losing Cullen. My heart hammered in my chest as I watched them, and I knew tonight, they would finally together as they were meant to be. Alistair pulled his mouth away a moment later, shifting enough to pull Cullen’s shirt off over his head. Then their mouths met again, frantic more than anything. I moved to get off the bed to leave them to it, but they both stopped me. Their hands pulled me towards them, and Alistair spoke first.    
“Just because you can’t participate, doesn’t make you less a part of this,” he said quietly. Cullen nodded, “Stay. Please?”   
I nodded and settled back against the headboard. Alistair climbed off of Cullen, and they moved the cards and my drawing supplies off the bed. Alistair came back, spread a soft thick towel on the and laid on top of it, his arousal impressive already. Cullen came back, handing me the bottle of oil that we used. I held it and waited. He crawled over the bed, laying next to Alistair. Tender touches, while Alistair laid there waiting, giving him time to decide how to proceed. A caress over a cheek, gentle brush of fingers against his neck, scarred lip pressing a kiss to his racing pulse. The same lips weaving a path down his chest, before reaching his already hard nipple. Tongue darting out to taste, lips sucking it into his mouth, Cullen watched me as he explored. His other hand slid down the tight trembling stomach, brushing the auburn curls and making Alistair twitch.    
When he wrapped his fingers around Alistair’s cock, I thought they both might expire. Breaths held, eyes locking on one another, as Cullen slowly stroked him, his fist much bigger than my own. When Alistair reached for Cullen’s, his finger brushed the tip, gathered the bead that already formed there, bringing it back to his lips. Hips thrusting his cock deeper into Cullen’s hand, his breath turned ragged as he reached for the cock pressed against his leg. The moan I heard when his fingers closed over it, I couldn’t tell which man made it. 

Their eyes both closed as they lost themselves in their hands, the only sound for a few minutes their ragged breathing. 

Cullen shifted on the bed, kneeling next to Alistair. He wrapped his fingers around the ones holding his cock, before leaning down and swiping the head of Alistair’s with his tongue. Without hesitation, he sucked it into his mouth, pale lips wrapped around the silken hot length. Fingers following mouth, he stroked it, while Alistair laid there looking ready to die a blissful death. His fingers dove into dirty blonde hair, encouragement if there ever was any. Within moments, he was writhing beneath the mouth driving him crazy.  When Cullen pulled away, he moaned at the loss of contact.    
Cullen pulled Alistair’s hand from his own cock, kissing his fingers before asking Alistair to turn over onto his stomach.  With a surprised look, he complied, hand guiding his cock to rest against the sheets, his head facing me. “I’ve thought about this a hundred times, after that first night you were at Skyhold,” Cullen said, his voice rough, “when you laid on Ally’s back, your hands touching her together, the sounds you made when you came..”    
Heat pooled in my stomach, remembering perfectly the night he spoke about. He stretched out on Alistair’s back, pressing his lips to red hair, cock nestled against his butt. “I dreamed about you driving yourself into her that night, your hand on her,” he whispered, his hand sliding over a rounded hip. Alistair shivered, “I knew you were watching,” he whispered back, which was news to me. “I saw you through the windows, and that’s her favorite position, pressed against the bed, vulnerable.”   
He wasn’t wrong. Cullen sat back up, and shifted Alistair’s right leg, pulling it up much the same way he had done to me all those weeks ago. He pressed a kiss to the small of his back, smiling at the goosebumps that skittered across the golden skin. Looking at me, he held out his hand for the vial. I uncorked the bottle, pouring some into his palm. He smoothed it over his cock, before coating both of his own hands. With one, he ran a finger over Alistair’s sac, fingers no longer hesitant as they began to explore. His other hand caressed the exposed entrance, lazy circles around it with his thumb. One hand wrapping around Alistair’s cock, and a finger gently pressing inside him. Face pressed against the bed, a moan filled the air.    
All pretense fled when Alistair begged to be taken, his voice rough with need. Cullen nodded, removing his hand and stroking his own cock once more before moving to Alistair. He trembled as he slowly pressed forward, his cock sliding into Alistair with ease. When he was fully inside him, he laid onto the trembling back before him, reaching a hand to Alistair’s, smoothing what of the oil was left there, before guiding their hands beneath them. Alistair’s face changed when their hands wrapped around him, linked fingers wrapping around his cock, gripping it tightly. When Cullen began to thrust, the bed shifted beneath their weight, shaking with their barely suppressed strength.    
Ah this, this was something to behold. Golden hair atop red, faces pressed closed as the one rode the other, a glorious tangle of limbs and need. They stroked, and whispered to each other, Cullen’s hips picking up speed as he drove them ever higher. Alistair’s whispered pleas, Cullen’s whispered promises, I didn’t need to hear the words to see the raw emotion fairly pouring from them. Trembling and panting, their bodies moved together. Alistair cried out first, his voice muffled by the bed, his hips pumping his cock into their hands as he spent onto the towel beneath them. 

Cullen kissed his shoulder, before sitting up again. He wiped his hand on the towel, then gripped his hips as he started to thrust harder, his own body shaking with the effort to not spend yet. Then he looked at me, his eyes on mine as his body gave in to its need. His head fell back, hands gripping Alistair, grinding hips against willing buttocks, a guttural cry ripped from his chest. He thrust once.. Then twice more, before collapsing back on top of Alistair. A chuckle sounded from one of them, calming caresses and soothing touches. Gentle kisses and a mountain of acceptance.    
When they finally parted, Cullen laid next to Alistair, a hand on his butt as they tried to catch their breath. I moved from the bed to grab cloths and water, handing one to each of them. Alistair sat up and knelt there, cleaning his cock and stomach off, his face flushed and his eyes bright. Before Cullen could move, Alistair pinned him there, kissing him. The same sort of kiss he gave me after vigorous love making, almost a reverent thank you. The dazed look on Cullen’s face when Alistair left him there with a grin was worth it. They finally moved and cleaned off the bed, and when they came back, they situated me between them, cuddling me close.   
“2 days you say?” Alistair mumbled into my hair, his arms wrapped around me. One holding mine, the other on Cullen’s hip. I sighed.   
“More like 1 now that today is done,” I answered.    
“Good. I miss you,” he said. I didn’t bother to answer. I pressed my face to Cullen’s back and took a breath.    
“Sleep sweet,” I whispered into the dark, fairly sure they couldn’t hear me anyways.    
  
The next day dawned early, with me waking up on top of Alistair, Cullen’s arm draped over us both. I tried to extricate myself from them but Cullen woke up. “Good morning,” he whispered, eyes shining at me in the morning light. I gave him a grin, pulling his hand up to kiss his palm. I gingerly climbed off of Alistair and after stretching and wincing, I put on a light robe. I heard Cullen get out of the bed and follow me, heedless of his naked state. I made my way to the kitchen, and started to brew some coffee. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Are you alright?” he asked me, his mouth against my head. I looked up at him, “Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked with a smile.    
“Last night..” he started to say, and I shook my head.    
“Last night was perfect, just the way it was supposed to be. Did you enjoy yourself?”    
He nodded against my head.    
“Did Alistair?” 

“I’m guessing so, from the sounds he made,” he chuckled.    
“Then what’s the worry?” 

“You..” And there it was. I turned in his arms, wrapping my arms around him.    
“There is no me in this. There is us. 3 sides of a whole. When are you going to grasp that?” I teased.    
“I just don’t want to overstep,” he said with a sigh.    
“Last night you made love with a man I love dearly. I watched, and you know what I saw?” He shook his head.    
“I saw love. That’s what I saw. Passion and need and love. And you know what I felt?” He shook his head again.    
“Nothing shy of love. For both of you.”    
His face flushed. 

“You confuse me to no end, Ally,” he muttered. I laughed, kissed his chin and pulled away. I went to reach for a much and the hiss of pain escaped before I could stop it. He tsked at me, reaching into the cupboard and grabbing out 3 mugs. “Stop that,” he admonished. I shrugged. He raised an eyebrow. I shrugged again. He walked towards me, cornering me against the counter. Hands on either side of me, he pressed his forehead to mine. “If you get to worry about us, then we get to worry about you. Remember that conversation?” 

I reluctantly nodded.    
“Then stop being stubborn.”   
“He’s right,” we heard from the door, “you are insanely stubborn, wench,” and Alistair walked into the room, as naked as Cullen. I raised my eyes to the ceiling. They would be the death of me. He crossed the room, giving first me a kiss, then Cullen. “Good morning you spectacular people!” he declared, taking one of the mugs on the counter and snagging a cup of coffee. He propped a hip on the counter, and after sweetening it he took an appreciative sip, watching me watching him. Cullen kissed my forehead then left the room. I walked over to Alistair, who set down his cup of coffee to pull me close. I laid my head against his chest and sighed.    
“I’m sorry I’m an ass,” I whispered.    
“Oh, you’re not an ass, love. Silly and stubborn, sure. But you are really just.. You. Magnificent, smart, giving and loving. But not an ass,” he said, squeezing me against his chest. “And, bonus for us, you smell amazing. All the time, it’s mind boggling,” he said. I laughed. “I smell good?” 

“You always smell good. Don’t question me,” he ordered. I laughed again. “Yes, ser,” I said, grinning up at him. He laid a kiss on my lips, gentle and coaxing. 

“If they don’t come with potions and heal you, I’m going to Skyhold to drag one of them back here,” he grumbled. I raised an eyebrow. “Why the rush?” I teased him.    
“Because I want to touch you and take you and make love to you and have you crying out beneath me,” he rambled on. I raised my eyebrows.    
“All that?”   
“And more. But you don’t need a bigger ego than you have,” he said with a grin. I shook my head. Ego. What ego? 

  
We went about our day, the men chopping wood, gathering vegetables from the garden and Alistair left to check his traps. I laid on the couch in the early afternoon, and Cullen joined me while we waited for Alistair to return. I curled up on his lap, and slept for a while listening to his heart, his arms holding me close. When Alistair got back, he told us to stay there and brought us a few glasses of wine, after kissing us in greeting. “I saw some riders on the hill, hopefully it’s Dorian and Bull. Because I’m tired of waiting,” he said simply, and the implications in his eyes spoke volumes.    
Things had changed for us all, drastically, in the last few weeks. Cullen smiled more freely, and was really genuinely healing. I noticed Alistair watching him, and them sharing moments. While most nights I fell asleep between them, plenty of the time I wind up on one side or the other, them as tangled as they were with me. 

I could feel the change in Cullen, and see it in Alistair. Emotions clouding decisions, and this raw need to just give, and then give more. Time, and affection..

Love. 

And, deep inside me, I prayed that’s what I was seeing because I was already there and I saw no easy way back. An hour or so later, we heard some horses outside and the men went out with weapons to make sure it was indeed Dorian. When the four of them came back inside, talking and laughing, I stood up. Dorian tsked at me and asked me to take him to the bedroom so he could examine me again. I led him back there and with a grimace he checked my side again.    
“I’m going to leave more potions for you, and do a really deep healing on it now. You should be good as new when I’m done. Are you ready?” he asked. I sighed and motioned him to do it. The heat in his hands and the tingle of magic in the air barely warned me before the searing pain in my side then my head dulled to a throb then faded to .. nothing. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. He patted my head. “Next time, send a bird,” he said. I raised an eyebrow. 

“There had better not be a next time, or I’m going to be really irritated,” I mumbled. He laughed, “Oh I don’t think you will be the only one. Those two were devouring you with their eyes, you are a lucky woman,” he said with a grin. I sighed.    
“I really am, and I hope to stay that way. Our bird never came back after the last time we sent one to the castle. Could you ask Leliana to send it back? Or send another? Or something.”   
He frowned. “She did send it back, and wondered why we hadn’t heard from you.”    
I shook my head, “It never returned. That’s a mystery for tomorrow. Is there enough daylight for you to get home?” I asked. He gave me a look, “Yes you can go have relations with your sexy men. Bull and I have a date of our own with a giant bathing tub and some wine.” He got up and walked out of the room, with me following. Bull crooked a finger at me and took me outside. 

“Cullen looks good. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Keep it up, and he may be really human when he returns to Skyhold. Are you guys going to stay on for a while?” he asked. I shrugged.    
“We haven’t gotten that far yet. I have.. Things I was doing before we came here. Things that were important. I want to ask him to go with us for a while. Travel and let go for a bit. I have to ask him first, though,” I answered honestly.    
“He needs you,” Bull said simply. I nodded. “We need him,” I answered, simply.    
“Then that has to be enough for now. Thank you,” he said. I gave him a brilliant smile.   
“Nothing to thank me for. I think I get the better end of this deal, I have both of them waiting for me. You just have the mustached wonder to contend with.”   
Bull barked a laugh, “Oh he is, isn’t he? That.. man, is enough drama for ten people. And I wouldn’t change a hair on his head! He’s mine, and I am just fine with that.” I held out my hand to shake his. But he just shook his head and hugged me. Which was odd, considering I barely came halfway up his chest. 

“You’ve saved the Commander. You get more than a handshake. That makes you family.”    
And with that, we headed inside. Once they were on their way back to Skyhold, with me hoarding 10 new potions and feeling like I had been reborn, I set about making dinner, insisting on it since they no longer had the “Allayna got broken” bit to fall back on. An hour or so later, when I pulled the biscuits off the fire, and served them at the table, they were deep in discussion about “plans”. I hadn't paid enough attention to who's until I sat down. 

“You know, you could stay on for a while after we go back,” Cullen suggested as we finished eating. I shared a smile with Alistair. “We plan to for a bit. But we do have things we were in the process of taking care of before we came. And maybe if you can, you could take some time off, and travel with us,” Alistair answered.    
Cullen raised his eyebrows. “As in leave Skyhold and not do Inquisition things?” he asked. I nodded.    
“I don’t know what to say,” he mused, very obviously thinking about it.    
“There’s no rush to say anything. There’s time, hopefully quite a bit of it. We still have six weeks here. And then there’s time once we get back to Skyhold. No rush. Please just think about it,” I said, putting my hand over his. He raised it to his lips and the shine was back in his eye.    
“I will think about it a lot, I’m sure. Probably overthink it, truth be told. But enough about me. I hear from Dorian you are in perfect condition,” he said with a wicked grin. I bit my lip, “Maybe so. I am awfully tired though,” I said, pretending to yawn. Alistair pretended to sniff, like I had actually made him sad with my declaration. Cullen just gave me a look, a look that made my stomach hot and my hands clammy. He got up and started removing the dishes from the table, while Alistair sat there acting like he was sobbing. When Cullen finished, he came to the table, bent and scooped me out of my chair, and carrying me from the room. Alistair yelled that he wanted some, and followed swiftly behind us. They took turns undressing me, their enthusiasm making me happier than I thought possible. 

Mouths and hands, hearts and bodies taking me away. Things had changed, in more ways than one. No more tentative touches. No more hesitation. Confidence in their strength, their affection, confidence in each other and in myself. We fell into the bed, and into each other with a new abandon, full of the newness and light that comes with acceptance and love. Even if it was still mostly unspoken. And when we rode the waves of bliss into the darkness, it was brighter and stronger than before. Because where there was the newness before, now there was intimacy born of love.

When I fell asleep hours later, exhausted and spent, tangled up in them, I felt lighter than I had in months. Because here? Wrapped up in my Warden and my Commander, I was home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first foray into a same sex sex scene. It was, while not difficult, different. As it was their first time together, I needed it to mean more. Be significant. Especially for Cullen, who I still has so much healing to do.   
> My scenes can be lengthy but not usually this lengthy. I said significant right?


	4. A Love Gone Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the attack and subsequent healing, things begin to change for the better. Until some unexpected guests show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long, life has tossed some huge curveballs at me recently and it's been hard to write the way I used to. I'm getting back into it, I promise!

**A Few Days Later -**

 

I sat in the chair, listening to the faint crackles the dying fire made. I was wrapped in a blanket, unable to sleep. Again. Cullen and Alistair were wrapped around each other in their sleep, blissfully oblivious to my absence. Keeping this from them was hard. But we were a fragile thing, this new.. Us. And after the turmoil of the attack and ensuing weeks healing, we were just getting back what we had before.

_ The crunch of the boot connecting with my ribs. _

_ The evil laughter that poured out of his ugly face.  _

_ His eyes… _

I shook my head and turned back to what was left of the fire. I put out my hand, intent on building it up some. But no. The hesitation made me as mad as that bastard’s foot had. I stood up and took the blanket with me into the other room. I yawned even as I started pacing in front of the couch. My bare feet nearly soundless on the cold floor, as I relentlessly tried to tire myself enough to sleep without dreaming.

Back and forth.

And back again. Countless times. I had memorized the patterns in the wood of the floor weeks ago. And as I passed specific spots I would remind myself of things.

That he was likely dead, if not close to it.

That I was safe.

Alive.

Loved. 

I heard the bed creak as one of the men shifted, but didn't cease my pacing. I counted each pass of the couch. 

I was safe. 

And alive.

And bone deep tired.

“What are you doing?” 

I jumped and dropped the blanket, hands shooting in front of me and glowing with power before I could even stop to think. Alistair stood there, hair a wild mess, as naked as I'd left him, eyes wide as he held out his hands.

“Whoa!” he yelled as I pulled the lightning back into myself. I rubbed a no longer glowing hand over my face and kind of slunk to the floor. 

“I'm sorry,” I whispered, staring at my hands in my lap. He hurried over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. 

“What's wrong with you?” he asked me. I sighed.

“I couldn't sleep. Again.”

“Again? How often is this happening?”

“More than I like. Several nights a week. At least.” I mumbled the last, still bitter it was happening at all. 

Me,  _ Hero Of Ferelden _ ,  _ Warden Commander _ , afraid of a man who could no longer hurt me. I had killed an Archdemon. And defeated the blight. Traveled the seediest underbelly of Thedas. Fought more Darkspawn than one could even dream of counting. I had faced demons and talking Darkspawn and dragons and I was afraid of a man who could no longer hurt me.

“Why didn't you say something?” he asked quietly. 

“Because it's stupid. And you were both worrying and hovering. And why should everyone else suffer because I couldn't fight back?” My voice had dropped to a whisper as it trailed off. He sighed and reached out to grab my hand. 

“You didn't have to do this alone,” he said. I shrugged. He hauled me into his arms. I pressed my face into his neck, grateful beyond words for the strong arms trapping me against his body. 

“Are you having a party I wasn't invited to?” came a groggy voice from behind Alistair. Cullen walked into the room yawning, scratching his belly.

“No party. Some secrets though,” Alistair replied, his voice dry. 

“What happened?” Cullen asked, sitting on the couch. I pulled from Alistair’s arms, moving to face the fire. A bit cowardly but I was still a little raw. I explained it all. The nightmares, the ever present fear. The new bit of obsessiveness that had taken over my nights.

“How did we not see this?” Cullen mused. I shrugged again. I heard them moving, each appearing on either side of me. Arms wrapped around me and kisses pressed against my hair. 

“You shouldn't have kept this to yourself. You survived a seriously traumatic experience Ally, one that even some grown men would have issues recovering from. It's not surprising that there are lingering effects. But we could have helped you,” Cullen admonished quietly. I nodded, “I know, I'm sorry,” I whispered. 

“No one should have to go through that alone,” Alistair reiterated. I sighed. 

“How did I find the two most chivalrous men in Thedas?” 

“You know you love us,” Alistair teased. I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. 

“Oh. Do you?” he asked me gently. I nodded. Then I turned to look at Cullen.

“If anything has been made clear in all of this, it's that there is no guarantee for a tomorrow,” I said, raising a hand to his confused face. “I've been given gifts in the form of you two. Strength and love and home.”

“Ally…” he started to say, but I shook my head, silencing him with my hand to his lips. 

“Let me speak. The world is an ugly place most of the time. And here, with you two, even amidst the horror,  _ we _ found something profoundly beautiful. Strong and resilient. Would you believe me if I said that you made me whole?”

He shook his head, wonder mingling with fear in his lovely golden eyes. I smiled. “I was wholly loved by Alistair, never doubt that. We've had a glorious ten years, that I wouldn't change for anything. But this.. here with us 3, it's so much more. It's awe invoking. Spine tingling. Breathtaking and beautiful. You've changed everything. And I love it. I love  _ you.  _ I love us.”

I could feel the tear escape my eye, and his face softened when he saw it. He reached up and wiped it away. “Why do you do such things to me?” he asked, his voice rough. 

I smiled, a bit shaky at that. “Because someone needs to. If anyone needs some love, it’s you,” I answered, honestly. I felt Alistair press against my back, and his hand covered mine on Cullen’s cheek.    
“You may as well just accept it. Allayna’s love is a fickle thing. But once it’s out there, there’s no getting away from it. Believe me.. I tried,” and the whoosh of air that escaped him with my elbow to his stomach was most satisfying. He laughed in my ear. “Alright, I lie about trying, because I was all hers from the moment she kissed me the first time.”   
Cullen heaved a sigh and put his hand over ours. “Confounded. That’s what I am. This is insane. And I can’t imagine anything better,” he mumbled. I could feel something change in my chest. Loosen, almost. I felt lighter and … better. I climbed to my feet and held out my hands. Each of the men took one and after much ado, we went back into the bedroom. 

I took off the shirt I had purloined earlier and climbed onto the bed. They soon followed and in silence, we laid there, Cullen facing me, and Alistair at my back. I pulled Cullen close, pressed my forehead to his. “It’s your turn,” I whispered.    
“For?”

“Your turn to feel everything. The same way you two make me feel, again and again,” I answered. He raised his eyebrows.    
“And how do you propose, well, that I do this feeling thing?” he asked.    
I just shook my head and kissed him. Took his mouth, and with the thoroughness they usually showed me, I showed him that he was cherished. Slow and sweet. He deepened the kiss, tongues and teeth, his hands pulling me against his body. The steady heart beating against my chest was reassuringly amazing. When Alistair pressed close against my back, I sighed into Cullen’s mouth as their hands started to explore my sensitive skin. 

A caress here, pressure there. Tongues and heat, shivers and need. I pressed myself against Cullen's chest, heart to heart. Mouths fused, breaths choppy, need permeating the air. Alistair pressed his lips to my ear, whispered words sending excitement shooting through me. I nodded and pulled my mouth from Cullen's. I pushed him back onto the bed, moved to straddle his hips.

“What are you doing?” he asked, squinting up at me. I smiled down at him.

“It’s your turn,” I said, again. 

“For?” 

“To feel everything. Full and loved, so much more than just touching or being touched. Filled and overwhelming. It's incredible and beyond words,” I whispered, leaning down, my face a breath from his. He swallowed. Then his face gradually changed. Trepidation melted away into speculation, which faded into avid curiosity. He shifted on the bed a bit, “How do we do this feeling things business then?” he asked, voice rough. I just shook my head.

“Let us lead you,” I said. He nodded and all was right. I leaned down and grazed my lips against his. He sighed, lips parting under mine. I deepened the kiss, my chest pressing to his. His arms snaked around me, hands gripping my butt. His cock was definitely awake now, pressing against my thigh. I felt the bed shift as Alistair got up, and after a bit of noise, he came back and sat behind me, between Cullen's legs. He kissed the small of my back before putting his hands over Cullen's. I leisurely kissed Cullen still, this sensuous meeting of tongues and lips, stolen breath and racing hearts. Then Alistair’s hand was on me, sliding against my folds, taking my breath away. His fingers found my clit, already aroused and tender. Soft little circles sending waves of need washing through me. His thumb slid inside me, thick and persistent. 

“Ah, you're already so wet,” came the strained voice from behind me. I could feel the flush chasing up my chest. I pulled away from Cullen's mouth and looked behind me. A moan escaped me as he started to rub harder, my hips pressing against his hand. He gave me a wicked grin, one full of promise and sexy anticipation. His other hand left my hip, and when Cullen gasped I knew Alistair had him well in hand. Literally. Cullen’s eyes closed and his breath quickened, his hips bucking underneath me. Watching his face was as arousing as Alistair’s hand, and the knowledge that it was his hands doing all of the touching was heady. 

Then his hand was leaving me, and Cullen’s cock replaced it at my eager entrance. The breath nearly exploded from his chest when I slid down onto him. I settled on his hips, throbbing around him. I felt Alistair shift on the bed behind me, moving Cullen’s legs. I started to move then, my hands pressed against Cullen’s chest, my hips lifting and falling in this lazy smooth rhythm. His hands slid up my chest, each filling with a breast as I moved. My eyes closed and I just felt. Hot and silky inside me, rough fingers dancing over my skin. A touch of lips to my back, another set of hands on my hips as I rode the Commander. 

Then the air in the room changed, as I felt the bed shift again and Cullen still under me. His eyes opened and I smiled down at him. I leaned down, my chest trapping his hands between us. “Are you alright?” I whispered. He nodded. Then his eyes closed and he let out this strangled sound. A pleased, surprised sound. I looked over my shoulder, and Alistair shot me an eyebrow wiggle and a cocky smile.    
I shifted my hips and he moaned. Again, and his hips followed mine. Alistair’s husky voice surprised me, “Do you want more?” he asked. I knew the question wasn’t meant for me.    
“Yes.” Simple. Succinct. A thousand feelings in the span of one single word. I kissed him softly, felt Alistair shift his legs. We heard the sound of oil being spread, the shift of the bed as Alistair positioned himself. The brilliant look in Cullen’s eyes before they closed, the throbbing of his cock inside me intensifying. Alistair stayed where he was for a moment, his forehead against my back, his breath feathering against my skin. He wiped his hands on a towel next to us before sitting up and grasping Cullen’s legs. When he finally moved, Cullen’s hands gripped my sides, fingers digging into my flesh. After Alistair thrust a few times, I began to move again, and within moments, Cullen was writhing on the bed beneath me. Eyes unfocused, teeth gnawing at his lip. I sat up, never ceasing my movements, but when I slid a hand beneath me to rub at my clit, his eyes glued to my face.    
“You first,” he murmured, his voice raspy with need. I could only nod, as my own body was beyond denial at that point. I ground my pelvis against him, my own voice low and breathy, the closer I came to falling into bliss. A hand snaked around my neck, drawing me back against a hard chest. Turning my head, and lips capturing mine in a fevered kiss. A kiss that spoke volumes, hot and wet, this war of tongues and teeth. He released me as I began to shake, and within seconds, I was crying out, falling forward as my orgasm took me. Pulsing and clenching, my body spasmed for what felt like forever. I managed to look up as Cullen arched under me, this low cry ripping from his throat as his own release took him. Throbbing and spilling inside me, his hips ground against mine, trying to get as deep as possible. His entire body trembled, especially with Alistair still slowly fucking him behind me.    
When I looked over my shoulder, my breath still barely there, his eyes locked on mine as he thrust once.. Then twice more. His hands grabbed my hips as he came apart behind me. Cullen’s breath hitched under me, as Alistair spent inside him. The entire bed shook with the force of their bodies shaking, and I just laid there limp on top of Cullen as they slowly calmed. Alistair leaned against my back, his breath tickling my skin. Cullen ran a scarred hand up my arm and onto my back to caress Alistair’s face.    
“I never knew..” he said quietly, “never even considered this was a thing.”    
I chuckled, a sound that faded into a soft moan as his cock twitched inside me. “There is a lot you don’t know. Would you like us to stick around to teach you?” I teased him. I knew he would. He was as caught as us. We stayed like that for a few more minutes, all entangled and sweaty in the aftermath if exceedingly spectacular sex. Eventually, though, we did move. Into the bathing room to use the tub and bathe away the sticky mess we had made, before falling back into bed.    
Alistair held me close, and my face pressed against Cullen’s back. “You had better not leave this bed again tonight,” Alistair muttered into my ear. I sighed. He squeezed me. “Not joking, wench. Wake me if you have a nightmare. I can’t help if I don’t know,” he reminded me. I nodded. Before long, we all drifted back to sleep.

Over the next few days, things took on a new shine. A newness to our closeness, as it were. Moments where we all kind of just.. Realized the weight of what we had accomplished here. Our little nook in the woods, two plus one became a solid three. The enormity of that never escaped me, and the closer we came to going back to Skyhold, the more I worried for Cullen. I knew where I stood. My heart was so full of them both. Alistair and his life long love for me, Cullen and his new found sense of self. Shadows still followed him, but not like they had before. His eyes were clearer. And he carried himself with a confidence not born of the skill he had or the position he commanded. But of the man he was becoming. No longer broken, freshly mended and infinitely loved.    
I sat on the porch, watching them chop wood for the remainder of our stay. We would have to go back in a week or two, to the real world. Would we hold up under the scrutiny of the people he trusted and respected? He often spoke of them. His admiration for the Inquisitor, mutual respect for Cassandra. His odd relationship with Leliana. His protective streak for the pretty Josephine. The men and women he commanded. He was a well loved and admired man himself. I hoped that this wouldn't change that. He deserved some happiness. More than some, truth be told. 

We all did.

As the afternoon wore on, and their chores came to a hold, just as we all were going to go inside, I felt something change in the air. I held up my hand and stopped them. They were instantly on alert. “What is it?” Alistair asked. I closed my eyes and swept the land with my magic. 

My stomach clenched when I realized what it was. “Red Templars. At least three.” 

Alistair actually growled behind me. Cullen raced inside to get their weapons. I had my staff in hand before he even returned, tossing a sword and shield to Alistair. 

“Are you crazy? Go inside Ally!” Cullen hissed at me. I laughed. Low and menacing.

I gathered my power and when I faced Cullen, his eyes widened. “I will not hide like a child. I'm not the same mage you knew, Cullen. I've power you've only heard about. I killed the archdemon. Fuck the Red Templars.” He looked at Alistair who just shrugged.

I cast a shield, invisible and strong, just as they came into view. 3 men on horses, fully armored and nearly regal, if the stench of red lyrium rolling off of them didn't ruin that sight. I stayed where I was, feet planted firmly on the ground in front of the cabin. When they stopped in the cabins clearing, they dismounted and approached us. 

“Good evening,” the closest one said, removing his helmet. “We're looking for our comrade who went missing a while back. He was last seen in these parts. Have you fine folk seen any Templars about?” he asked with a wan smile. My returning smile was just as wan.

“I'm sorry but we haven't seen anyone. Not for a few weeks at least. Was he traveling alone?” I asked politely. The man chuckled.    
“He always travels with a contingent, but he said he felt something in the area and wandered off to investigate, or so his men say. You wouldn’t happen to know what he was looking for, would you?” he asked me. I shrugged.    
“Nothing much to see out here. Not sure what he could possibly have been on about.”   
The man started to walk forward but stopped when the men shifted behind me. “This is probably not the best of time,” I warned the man. His companion’s hands went to their weapons. I made a low tsk’ing sound. “I wouldn’t, if I were you,” I murmured. The man tilted his head.

“Aren’t we mages and Templar’s allies now?” he asked with a slight sneer. I laughed.    
“Not when you have that sludge running through your veins, no,” I answered him honestly, raising my hand out in front of me. The ground trembled beneath the horses and after a moment of worry, the horses that still had their riders bucked free of them, and all 3 took off into the woods. The wind began to blow around the Templars, sounding like a wail from the very heavens. I took a step forward, pulling on the power of the very forest around us.

“Your friend, he came here while they,” and I gestured with my head to Alistair and Cullen, “were gone. He tried to rape and kill me. Would you like to know why that was the biggest mistake of his life?” I asked softly.

The Templar’s all stood there, shaking under the onslaught of the wind, weapons drawn but looking less and less deadly to me. The leader stepped forward and I froze him in his tracks.    
“Would you like to know who I am?” I asked then. The other men nodded.    
“Have you heard of the Hero of Ferelden? Or the Warden Commander of Ferelden?” I asked, stepping forward, drawing my shield with me. I shot my hands out in front of me, effectively paralyzing all three of them. “My name is Allayna Theirin, and your friend, even though he managed to dispel my magic, still nearly died in flames by my hand mere moments later. Would you like to know what I did with him?”    
I knew they couldn’t answer, as I slowly walked around the three frozen bodies. “Why, I let the Commander of the Inquisition forces take him to the Inquisitor.” Cullen barked a laugh.    
“I hear that they beheaded him, up there on that special little dias that they had built for such public displays of crude punishment. It was a far kinder fate than he deserved.”   
The leader of the 3, his eyes glared at me. I waved my hand and unfroze his face. “You killed him, you bitch!” he sneered.    
I stood in front of him, “No. His choices killed him. Now, truth be told, had he not dispelled my magic, he would have died by my hand directly. As it was, I got my powers back far faster than the moron expected, and when I lit him on fire, it was glorious. When I froze him and the fire, it was even better. He was in agony.”

“You had no right…” he started to say. I lit my hand on fire, held it up to his face.    
“No! YOU have no right! None of you! I was raised in a circle. I was a good little mage, followed the rules, did the bidding of the First Enchanter Irving, and for my trouble I was handed to the Grey Wardens without a second thought. I went about my Grey Warden business, and after months and months of mind breaking work, I defeated a fucking ARCHDEMON! I, I alone stood there at the end. Barely, I was injured and half out of my mind, but it was ME. A mage. A mage who had only had lowly aspirations to live out my life in a simple tower. Saving the world. And then years later, the Templars and Mages all lost their minds, and the protectors became jailors, feeding off the fear of their underlings. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT HERE!” I yelled at him. In his eyes was a dawning awareness.   
“I did NOTHING to your friend. NOTHING. And he sought to break ME. Because he still wore the arms of a Templar, but he was nothing so noble. He was a rapist and a murderer.” I turned away from the men for a moment. 

“Are you like your friend?” I asked him then, my voice quiet.

“Wh..what?” 

“Are. You. Like. Him?”

“I don’t think so,” came the quiet reply. I sighed.    
“You really are her, aren’t you?” he asked then. I looked back at him.    
“I really am. Do you know what being a Grey Warden has taught me?”

My question seemed to surprise him.   
“It taught me that even when the world is on its knees, broken and bleeding, it is worth saving. But those who break it? They are not. Are you worth saving?”

“Did Larcen really do all that?” he asked. I nodded. Alistair spoke up behind me.    
“He did that and more. She has barely recovered. If it weren't for one the mages at Skyhold she would be dead. Your  _ friend _ did that.”

The man sighed, closing his eyes. When they opened, a different man looked out at me. “We have no more home. This was one of the cabins we used to use on our trips through the area. We.. haven't had any of the red in months. What you feel is all that is left. We were some of the last recruited. Never even saw any action. Corypheus fell before we were put to use,” he swallowed. “We want to walk away. No more Templars, no more lyrium. Can you help us?” he whispered the last. Cullen sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. He kissed my head as he stepped around me. 

“Why should we?” he challenged. I released my hold on the men, their gasps audible as they slumped where they stood. 

“We were forced to join. Our lieutenant took us to Therinfal, fed us the lyrium. We were hooked before we knew what was happening. But the 4 of us didn't all change the same way. Larcen was the worst, his mind warping and his anger terrifying. He was merciless, injured many young recruits during training..” the man looked down at his hands when he stopped speaking. “We were good Templars once. Followed orders, protected mages and others alike. We came from a decent circle, one where we allowed mages to see their families after their harrowing, and I can count on one hand the number of times we had to resort to tranquility, and one was by request.”

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest. “We literally only have your word at that. I've got an entire keep full of ex-Templars and mages alike, I can't just trust you,” he said quietly. The other man nodded, sighing. 

I thought a minute. “Have them sleep in the stable tonight with the horses, and tomorrow we can go back and talk to whoever you need to talk to. They can stay here in the interim. It's relatively safe and out of the way.”

Alistair looked to Cullen. “Are you ready to go back?” he asked. Cullen knew what he was asking. Were we, as a unit, ready to go back and face the music?

Cullen looked between him and I. He straightened his shoulders and gave me a brilliant smile. “Let's go home,” he said. I nodded and wished that trickle of fear snaking through me would go away. The strangers went to the barn and I went into the cabin to make a meal for everyone. 

I worked automatically, my mind far away from the food. I worried what this would mean for us, if the going back would change Cullen. Dampen that new open part of him somehow. And just the thought made my heart stutter a little. 

I jumped when a hand touched my back, knife in my fist as I turned. Another hand clamped over my wrist, “Hey, stop that,” Cullen muttered. I sighed and let him take the knife. “They're settled in the stable for the night. Alistair and I can take them their food when it’s done.” 

I set my hands on the countertop and took a breath. He kissed my head and set the knife down with the vegetables I was cutting. Or mutilating once I got a look at them. 

“Ally,” he said quietly. I shook my head and gestured for him to go away. He, like usual, didn't listen. He stepped behind me and pressed against my back as he wrapped his arms around me. “Talk to me,” he said. I shook my head again. He pressed his mouth to my neck. “Speak, wench,” he ordered. I laughed softly.

“I am not a dog, Cullen,” I teased, trying to lighten the moment. Granted I was the reason it wasn't light but still. 

“But you make the happiest sounds when we pet you,” he said against my neck. I shivered and tried to shrug him away. His arms tightened around me. 

“I worry. It is what I do. Leave me to it,” I said with a scowl. He heaved a sigh, pressing his face into my neck. 

“Well, why are you worrying?” he asked. I turned in his arms and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, not looking up at him.    
“What happens if they find out and things change?” I asked quietly. He hooked a finger under my chin and forced me look up. 

“Nothing. I made a choice, back there in front of the fire. With you and him. A choice to accept and be accepted. To love,” he said quietly. I covered my mouth. His hand cradled my face, and the smile he gifted me with was beautiful.    
“You two have changed my whole world. And I have no regrets.”    
“None?” I whispered. He smiled again, shaking his head. He kissed my forehead and pulled me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight.    
“Who would have thought?” I muttered. He laughed softly.    
“Not I,” he answered, “I was sure I was going to be Commander for a while, then retire and enjoy my life in peace and solitude.”    
I closed my eyes. How sad that he had accepted that was where his life should to. I looked up, “I’m glad you aren’t alone. And that you made a choice,” I teased. He grinned at me.    
“Do you need help with making food?” Alistair asked from the doorway. He had his shoulder propped against the doorframe, head cocked to the side. Cullen grabbed a carrot from the cutting board behind me and stuck it in his mouth, pretending he couldn’t talk. I poked his sides and he snorted around the carrot, laughter brightening his entire face. Alistair shook his head at us and turned to go, but I reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt, stopping him.    
“Yes, I always need help cooking,” I begged with a grin. He turned back and gave me a smirk.    
“You just need saving from this buffoon,” he sneered, bumping his hip against Cullens to move him out of the way. I tried to move too but they both trapped me then. I put my hands on my hips. “I can’t cook,” I started to say when Alistair stuck a carrot slice in my mouth. 

“Now you can’t talk either,” he mused. I raised my eyebrow, slowly chewing the vegetable. Alistair reached behind me and moved the cutting board and its contents to the side, clearing the counter. I felt a pit of heat in my stomach. Alistair tugged one of my curls. I reached up and brushed my thumb over his chin. He bit the soft pad of it before a knock at the back door scared me. I jumped and Cullen just have me a rueful look. 

He moved and opened the door, “Can I help you?” he asked the templar standing there.   
“Is there anything we can help with?” the man asked nervously. Cullen looked at me and I shook my head.    
“Ah, no. Looks like we have everything well in hand. Give us a couple of hours and we will let you know when the meal is ready.”   
The man nodded and took his leave, prompting Cullen to shut the door again.    
“Maybe we should just.. Not.. until we get back to Skyhold,” he suggested, running a hand through his hair. I felt a cold spot on my spine, but before I could reply, he was speaking again.    
“Not because I am ashamed,” he said, giving me a look. “But if that Larcen fellow had an issue with you being with us, I would rather be safe than sorry since they are staying here overnight.”   
I took a breath and nodded. Cullen cradled my face and kissed my nose. “Let us finish this, you go read or draw. Relax. Stay in the house, please,” he added. I nodded and left them to it. Within two hours, they had served up a delicious stew with some sweet rolls that made my stomach growl at the smell of them. They took food out to the templars and when they came in they locked the house. I added my own magical wards, and we settled in for the evening. After we ate, and they retrieved the dishes from the stable, we covered all of the windows and went to bed.    
I laid there for a long while, awake between them, staring up at the ceiling. 

My mind wouldn’t quiet, and it took everything in me to not get up and go make sure the templars were where they were supposed to be.    
“Layne,” came a muttered voice. I patted Alistair’s head on my shoulder, and he caught my hand. “Why are you thinking so loud?” he asked around a yawn. I shrugged. “It’s been an odd day,” I said quietly.    
“That it has. You should get some rest,” he said, kissing my shoulder. I shrugged again.    
“I can’t,” I said simply.    
“Do you need encouragement?” he asked, nipping my skin gently. I looked at him, his eyes bright in the near dark.

“I thought we were supposed to ‘ _ not _ ’,” I said with a mock sneer. His hand tugged the sheet off of me, before flattening on my bare stomach.  

“If you can stay quiet, wench,” he said with a grin, pushing up onto his elbow to look down at me. I ran my fingers over his cheek. His eyes closed and he sighed. “Nowhere I’d rather be,” he said softly. I felt my heart lurch in my chest. We looked at Cullen, who was still sleeping soundly next to me. I turned on my side to face him, taking my hair and dragging it across his chest, making his muscles twitch. Alistair helped, his fingers running lightly over his ribs. He slapped hand and hair away, before trying to turn away in his sleep. I pressed up against his back, my arm wrapping around his hip, fingertips brushing over his lower stomach. He sighed in his sleep, still oblivious.    


I kissed his shoulder, once.. Then again, as my fingers slowly danced lower. I felt the goosebumps flash across his skin, as my fingers brushed against his inner thigh. He twitched in his sleep, pressing his butt closer to my thighs. I smiled against his back, pressing my breasts to his hot skin as I ran my fingers over his already hardening cock. Alistair pressed to my own back, his hand trailing down my arm, to my hand as I softly gripped Cullen, Alistair’s fingers joining mine. We stroked him, gentle and loving, there in the dark. His breath thickened, as did his cock, and his hips started moving with our hands. A low moan escaped his mouth, startling himself awake. His hand covered ours, “What are you two doing?” he asked, obvious strain in his voice. I chuckled against his back, “Why, we missed you,” I whispered. He snorted. I squeezed him and he gasped.   


“You missed me too,” I said with just a bit of sass.    


“Maybe I did,” he muttered. I giggled. He sighed. “Are you sure you want to do this now?” he asked over his shoulder, his hand still holding ours still. I nodded and sat up on the bed, releasing him and waving my hand around the room, raising another barrier, one for sound this time. I leaned down and kissed his jaw. “Better?” I asked. He nodded and pulled me down on top of him, his mouth claiming mine. From there, things moved into a blur. Kisses and tongues. Hands and shivers. I wound up between them, as per our usual, and amidst a flurry of increasingly desperate caresses, they took me in a demandingly gentle way, filling and loving me in the only way they knew how.    


Alistair behind, Cullen beneath, hands and teeth marking me as their own. I felt full. And cherished. And needed. And loved. When we tumbled into bliss some time later, limbs entwined and breathing labored, we laid there in a pile of well sated love. My heart felt near to bursting as I laid there held close by the both of them. Their fingers linked against my side, legs tangled with my own, I fell into a deep sleep with less worry than I had in weeks. 

 

**\---**

 

We rode our horses back to Skyhold, taking our time, drawing out the alone as much as we could. Picnicked by the hot pools we first were together at. Laughing and enjoying the moments. When we finally rode across the bridge to the keep, Cullen’s shoulders straightened out and back was the Commander. He saluted back at the men at the gates, and shared a lively conversation with his second in command. Alistair and I watched him, noting the color in his cheeks, the spark in his eyes. The way he looked.. More. More alive, more confident. He wasn’t so reserved. Leliana found me in the courtyard, taking me up to her tower so we could talk. Question after question, most of which I answered with laughs and smiles.    


“He looks so alive,” she said for a fourth time. I sighed. He did, indeed.    


“He does,” I agreed, for a fourth time. She sighed this time.    


“Do you think it’ll last?” she asked me quietly. I thought about it.    


“I do. Honestly. We.. we asked him to join us on our journey to find the cure.”   
Her eyebrows shot up under her hood. “You what?”

I shrugged. “He needs something. His purpose here was mostly fulfilled, and while he would still definitely be the Commander, he would come with us for a time. I think he needs this, Leli. He needs to have a new purpose. One that isn’t life or death for every moment.”   


She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. We were sitting out on the walkway again, basking in the sun together. “You may be right. I will let him bring it up though. Have him let the Inquisitor know. We can spare him for a while.”

I laughed. “I’m glad. Because I don’t know if I can,” I muttered. She laughed at me, “Oh, you’ve got it so bad, haven’t you?” she teased. 

I looked out over the keep, rubbing a hand over my chest. “I do. You know, I never really got over him. Back then. He was the first I ever sought pleasure with, the first man I really opened my heart to. And even once I was with Zevran then Alistair, he was there in the back of my mind enough of the time that I would find myself wondering how he was at the most random of times. Don’t get me wrong. I love Alistair. Always have, he made me a much better person that I might have been. But Cullen? He was the first. And now both of them, they love  _ me _ . And are working on loving each other. And it’s beautiful, whatever this thing is. Beautiful and terrifying. I just want it all to be alright, and will fight tooth and nail to make it happen.”   
She nodded and took my hand. “You are an amazing woman,” she told me. I looked at her and took a breath. “I’m only me, nothing special,” I said with a smirk. She snorted at me and all was right.    
  
Over the next week, Cullen talked to the other advisors about the three templars we had found, and they made the decision to bring them to the keep after the red lyrium wore off. Leliana had a few of the other ex-templars lined up to help them with their withdrawal and training in the absence of the lyrium leash. Cullen brought his second in command up to speed on what they had all been working on before his forced vacation.    
In another week, we were ready to go. Things had moved quickly, but the Inquisitor was all for Cullen going with us for a while, and we were eager to get back to just the three of us for a while. When we were packed up and ready to leave, Leliana brought me a hawk sans hood. She handed me a gorgeous white leather glove, and once I had it on, the hawk leapt from her arm to mine.    


“This is Demon,” she introduced him to me, his bright gold eyes blinking at me. I rubbed a finger over his chest and he relaxed on my hand. “Hello, Demon,” I crooned to him, and Leliana raised an eyebrow. “He likes you,” she said with wonder. I gave a slight shrug. 

“Animals tend to love me, Leli. You know that. Smudge was just one example of that,” I reminded her. She squinted at me. “He’s been enchanted. He’ll find me from wherever you are, and once you’ve had him for a while he’ll find his way back to you just as easily. He seems to like you well enough so it shouldn’t take long. Use him, but use him wisely. Anything you can entrust to messengers do so, use him only for vital things. And be safe.” She hugged me then, arms tight around me, making the hawk look at her accusingly. She grabbed my face, pressing her forehead to mine. “Thank you,” she whispered at me. I smiled at her. “You’re welcome. It was, literally, my pleasure,” I said wryly. She laughed, and with that she walked away and we made to leave. Cullen helped me mount and with a gesture I set the hawk in flight and we took off into the wild unknown. 

A wild unknown that we were excited to greet with one another. 


	5. A Little Slice Of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allayna takes them to Soldier's Peak to find out if Avernus has finally found a cure, a place which Alistair is not fond of.   
> Once there...surprises happen.

**Several Days Later -**

 

“So is there an actual plan or did you do this just to kidnap me?” Cullen asked me from across the table. We were sitting at a corner table of an Inn we found. Alistair was off procuring a room for us, and I was starving. 

“Yes. Well sort of. I need to go back to the Soldier's Peak. Ah, It's… Well it's a long story. Suffice it to say, I left an ancient mage there studying the Wardens connection to the blight and Darkspawn.”

He raised his eyebrows, obviously waiting for the rest of the story. 

“Alistair.. He doesn't knows I went back there.”

Cullen looked behind him. Leaning forward he asked, “And why not?”

“Because he hates Avernus. He hates that I let him live.”

“Ah. And does he have a good reason?” 

I swallowed my bite, considering how to answer. 

“Avernus was not a good Grey Warden. He did despicable things in the name of the greater good. And while I understood his reasoning, it was a little more .. Sharp for Alistair. He couldn't see or understand why I could have let him live. It was one of the only things we really fought about.” I looked down at my hands and sighed. 

“Maybe you'll be a buffer. Or he'll get mad at me again. But I found real answers and I need to pursue them.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, covering my hands. I nodded.

“I wouldn't risk taking him there if I wasn't sure of Avernus’ discovery.”

“Then we'll make sure he's fine.”

I sighed. “If it were only so easy,” I muttered. 

Alistair came back to the table then, totally pleased with himself. 

“We've got the top floor, and what are you two whispering about?” he asked, stealing a roll from my plate. I shrugged. Cullen coughed. I sighed. “I'll tell you later on, alright?” I hedged. He squinted at me, then at Cullen before slowly nodding. He proceeded to eat while I talked inane things about nothing. 

When we finally retired upstairs, Cullen was nudging me as I tried to undress for the night. 

“For crying… stop that,” I said, and he gave me a one eyed glare. 

“Alistair, come sit down,” I said, patting the bed next to me. 

He sat down and have us both looks. 

“You're not running off without me are you?” he teased. I rolled my eyes. 

“So. I'm going to pose a hypothetical scenario into the air…”

He raised an eyebrow. 

I stood up and began to pace. 

“What if.. Say, there was a mage of some renown, who was doing someone a huge life changing favor. And said mage maybe found some answers. But, say also this.. Mage.. Was not a good kind of renowned?”

He stared at me. “Are you finally crazy?” he asked with a whisper. I threw up my hands. 

“Really?”

“Well you sound insane.”

“You who speak of cheese in your sleep, claim I'm insane,” I stood there, in one of their shirts, hands on my hips. 

“Look at her,” Alistair muttered. 

“Oh I'm looking. Listen to her though. Please,” Cullen said, patting him in the shoulder.

“I'm taking us to Soldier’s Peak,” I said, exasperated. 

“What?” he said, suddenly quiet. 

“Avernus has been working on the cure for me.”

“When did this happen?” he asked, looking at the floor. I could see the muscles in his hands clenching. I felt horrible. 

“That's where I was when I got news of you coming out of the fade,” I whispered.

His head fell into his hands. Cullen’s hand on his back reassured me more than it did him, I'm sure. 

“Why?”

“Because sometimes good things come out of bad.”

I said it quietly too. I moved to stand by the window. 

“When we parted, remember it was just after the false calling started, I never had the chance to really tell you. I couldn't. You heard it - how was it you described it to me? A discordant lullaby that seemed nearly far away.” 

I wrapped my arms around myself, kept talking. “For me? It was this huge sound, wrapped in off-key silence that grated on my nerves at the best of times, and had me crying at the worst. Then there were the times that it was an obvious beautiful beckoning that wanted me to give in. Just a little.. Avernus sent me a missive a few months later, saying he had been looking into the blight and the calling. I went to see him while you were with Hawke.”

I wiped at my face, “He had no solid answers when I left, but promising leads. He told me to come back in a few months. It's time,” I ended what I had to say. I stared out into the night. I knew I had no reason to expect him to really understand. It was an impossible situation. But the thought of curing him won over the thought of making him angry. 

I knew he wouldn't leave. But he might be frosty for a while. 

I heard him sigh, then a kiss to the back of my head, and the door opening and closing. 

“That went well,” Cullen said dryly. I snorted. 

“Did it?”

“Why didn't you tell him about the calling?”

“Because sometimes I need to protect him as much as he does me. When Corypheus died, the calling died with him. But I've a feeling I'll get mine before Alistair does. Because I killed the Archdemon.”

He got up and walked over to me, draping an arm around my back. I dropped my head onto his shoulder. 

“He'll be back. And he'll either yell at me, which I likely deserve, or he'll quietly admonish me which is always worse. Then he'll kiss me, forgive me and move on. Usually. I don't know.”

“Or I could realize that these last 2 years have been utter shit and so would I if I blamed you for turning to .. Ugh, him,” I heard from the door. I turned and looked at him. 

“I wasn't trying to lie. Or hurt you,” I said quietly. He nodded.

“And I know that. Because I know you. Next time, let's tell me beforehand.” He closed and locked the door. He walked to me, pulling me close and squeezing me tight. 

“Is he still as awful as before?” he asked me, his chin on my head. I laughed softly. 

“No. He's.. He's changed. Aged and I feel he's truly come to regret his choices. And he's almost a thousand years old, give the guy a break,” I teased. 

He looked down at me, “How do you do it? See all that good in the dark places and manage to keep smiling?” he asked.

“Really? You don't know?”

“Why would I ask?” he muttered.

“You. You give me all these places inside me that I love to fill with your light and love. And since I'm the more pragmatic of the two of us, it's just how it is. Now add him,” and I tilted my head towards Cullen who had taken up a nearly undressed residence on the bed, “And I now have two of the best reasons to see the good things.”

Cullen chuckled from the bed. “Always the optimist,” he said. I snorted. 

“Better than being the pessimist and cheese extraordinaire.”

They both laughed, and we were alright again. 

The next morning’s dawn came and went before any of us managed to wake up. Tangled around each other. A mass of hands and legs and the press of heated flesh. Alistair’s mouth found mine, and Cullen’s hands roamed our bodies. Before long I pressed Alistair back into the bed, sliding down his body to settle on my stomach between his legs. 

I worshipped him with my mouth, sucking him deep and lavishing attention with my tongue. He gripped my hair, his head falling back onto the bed as I persistently loved him. Cullen moved over, his hand on Alistair’s chest as he gently kissed him, this slow tantalizing kiss, a tangle of tongues and hot breath. And I watched them from down Alistair’s body, mouth full of him and eyes full of them. 

It was still a sexy sight, watching them enjoy each other the way they do me. Less tentative and more intimate. Soon though, Cullen broke the kiss and moved down the bed. Soon his hand was joining mine on Alistair, and his mouth was joining mine as well. Our tongues wrapping around the molten flesh between us, fevered moans from up the bed. 

Within minutes, Alistair was trembling and bucking beneath us, when Cullen pulled away again. Then he was shifting me on the bed, lifting my leg over Alistair’s and touching me. His low growl showed his liking of my very aroused core. Then he was pressing his cock against my entrance, and slowly slid himself inside me. I took my mouth from Alistair and pressed my face to his leg as Cullen began to thrust, his hand beneath me between my legs. He leaned over me as he moved, his other hand joining mine where it wrapped around Alistair’s cock. We stroked him in tandem, our fingers interlinked. Cullen thrust faster, his hand gripping Alistair tight, and his cock driving me ever closer to the edge. 

Alistair was visibly shaking beneath our hands, his own gripping the bed in white knuckles fists, his hips thrusting his cock deeper into our hands. I was on the edge of bliss myself, and refused to take mine before giving my russet haired husband his first. His own movements were frantic and hurried, twitches and murmured pleas. I shifted my other hand, cupping his sac and pressing my thumb against that little bundle of nerves below it. His head pressed back into the bed, his hips bucking as he came apart in our hands. 

He gave this low groan as his seed spilled on his belly, chest and overflowing onto our hands. As he laid there spent, one of his hands found its way into my hair, holding me still as Cullen picked up speed behind me. Soon enough I was crying out, my face pressed to Alistair's leg as I took my pleasure. Pulsing and throbbing on Cullen’s cock, he grunted as his own orgasm tore through him. His hand moved to grip my hip as he ground his pelvis into my butt. He collapsed on top of me a minute later, sweaty and spent. I laughed softly when he nuzzled my hair. 

“You smell like sex,” he said in my ear. Alistair laughed. “We all smell like sex,” he muttered. I looked up at him and grinned. He smoothed my hair. Cullen finally got up and grabbed cloths, tossing one to Alistair and using the other on me and himself. Then he dressed and left to fetch breakfast.

I crawled up the bed and curled up against Alistair

“Are we alright?” I asked, my fingers on his face. His eyes never wavered. 

“We're more than alright. After the last few years, I have come to appreciate the oddities in our lives. More so now than ever. So we'll go see what he has and things will keep moving forward. Besides, I want to see Cullen’s face when he sees Soldier's Peak.” He said the last with an eyebrow flourish and I couldn't help but laugh. 

He pulled me closer and kissed me. “I love you. More than any one man should. And after almost losing you twice in the last year, I'm not going to quibble over the small stuff. It’s you and I, Layne. And Cullen now. Maker but his mouth,” he muttered, a blush staining his face. I wiggled my own eyebrows. “It's sinful how a mouth that sexy can be so.. Talented.” Alistair laughed this time. 

And he was right. The little things were not important anymore. Us. This new perfect us, the three sides of this perfect thing we had discovered. 

 

**Three Days Later -**

 

I laid on the ground, my cloak wrapped around me and my bedroll barely taking the edge off of the hard dirt. It was cold and dreary, and Cullen was off getting more firewood. I could hear Alistair muttering at the fire, and I smiled when he heaved a sigh. 

“Layne, I know you can hear me. Why must you let me suffer so?” he whined. I chuckled.

“It's fun, that's why,” I answered as I sat up. He raised an eyebrow. “Oh really now?” he asked. I nodded, then pointed at the pile of dead wood. A little tiny flame started at the tip of one of the branches, then began dancing its way down the bark. A few moments later the dead leaves and brown sticks finally joined the fire, and Alistair heaved another sigh. 

“Someday I'll learn to wiggle my finger and make sparks happen,” he mumbled. I crawled over to him, grasping his hand and kissing said fingers. “Love, you already do,” I said in all seriousness.

It took him a moment, then a blush stole up his face. I laughed softly. “It never gets old.”

“What? Making me feel like a boy with no brain except for sex?” he grumbled. I snorted.

“No. Helping you realize that even though you're not a mage, you are every bit as magic as me. You make love happen, and you never fail to bring about great pleasure while doing so.”

He sighed at me and I batted my eyelashes. 

“Layne…” 

I put my hand over his mouth.

He licked my palm and laughed when I made a disgusted face, wiping it on his shirt.

Cullen came back to us laughing and stood there with a goofy grin on his face. “I like this,” he declared, dropping his pile of wood near the fire. I raised an eyebrow. He came around and sat on my other side.

“This feels different than the cabin. Than Skyhold. We're really out here, in the world, and I find that I don't care. I'm here with you,” he bumped my shoulder with his own, “and you,” he said giving Alistair an eyebrow wiggle, “and it feels like home.” 

My heart stuttered in my chest.

“Home is it?” I asked, my voice husky with emotion. He nodded, brushing his fingers over my cheek. 

“You two are home,” he said quietly. I nearly cried there, if it hadn't been for the sniffing sound behind me. I elbowed Alistair and he gave a choked laugh. 

“If it makes you feel better, you make this feel like a home too,” he said after a moment. I sighed. 

They were mine. 

 

**We spent a few weeks travelling. Each day melted into the next, and the further north we went, the colder it got. I enjoyed each moment the best I could. Until I couldn't…**

 

I woke up with a gasp, frantically looking around. Alistair slept on, tangled with Cullen on the bed. I pressed a hand to my mouth, trying to calm myself. We were in a little Inn a day or so out from Soldier's Peak. I laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. I had dreamt about the men attending my funeral, sobbing and mourning. Cursing the calling and our inability to fix it before it took me. They had looked so… defeated. 

I rubbed a hand against my heart. 

I looked over, and had to keep myself from waking Alistair. He looked beyond at peace, his hand clutched in Cullen's, a soft look on his face. His hair mussed and his skin rough with the makings of a russet colored beard. The fire had nearly died and what little flame there was threw an eerie shadow over the bed. I closed my eyes, and just as I was drifting off again, my stomach churned. I held my breath. 

It settled down and I let myself go back to sleep. The next morning, it took the men some work to wake me and I was inordinately irritated at my lack of sleep. I refused breakfast, and we set out after I declined a third conversation about why I was snippy.

Problem was, I had no idea why I was snippy. Why their happy talking and good natured humor made me want to stab them both. 

I fell behind as they rode ahead, talking and laughing. I took out my canteen and took a sip of the cool water, making a face when it didn't help that queasy feeling I had been sporting since I awoke. 

Several silent hours later, we found ourselves at the base of the mountain, in the shadow of the castle. I went ahead of them, conversation ceasing as we approached the ancient castle. 

A little dark haired boy spotted us from the parapet above the massive front gate.

“Who goes down there?” he demanded to know. 

“I'm a Grey Warden, young sir. And you are?” I called up.

“My name is Liam, ma’am. If you're really a Grey Warden, can I see some Darkspawn?” he asked, obviously excited. 

“Sadly, I don't have any with me today, I do apologize. Is Levi here?” I asked. 

We could hear yelling as the child's head disappeared, and the rumble as the chains opened the huge gate. A tawny haired man appeared, grinning and gesturing us forward. 

“Warden Commander! It's delightful to see you again!” Levi exclaimed as we all dismounted. Cullen looked around eagerly and Alistair was a little quiet. Levi told us about his family and their goings on, and how they were readying the keep for when Avernus finished his work.

“He'll be delighted you came back,” Levi told me, leading us inside. There were far more people about than the last time I'd been there.

“Did he make some good progress?” I asked. 

“Oh I'll let him talk to you. He's got a lot to divulge.” 

Levi left us in the royal suite, with not even a blink at the fact that we all entered together. We set about unpacking what little we had taken with us. I left them to it and made my way across the castle. When I reached Avernus’ tower, I had to grasp a wall as I felt dizzy again. Shaking my head, I kept walking. This was getting frustrating. But I had bigger things to attend to. The main tower door opened when I reached it, swinging silently into the dim room beyond. I stepped through, seeing Avernus up on his dais, bent over a table.

“Greetings, Warden Commander!” he called out. I walked up the stairs and he turned, giving me a quick once over.

“Something is different about you,” he mused, wrinkled hand moving to a wrinkled face. He took a breath. “I think I did it.” 

I raised an eyebrow. 

“I have been experimenting. I met a mage, she came here a while back, and she had been cured of the blight some time ago. She lent me her help, and we have figured out how to do it.”

I sat in the chair he suddenly gestured to. He pulled out a book, old and pages yellowing. He handed it to me, pulling it open at a marked page. I read the contents, my heart beginning to pick up speed as I took in what I saw. 

 

_ “Dragons blood. Dragons blood and elf blood. And magic.*  _ The next few lines were illegible. 

_ “Dragons blood provides ancient magic, stronger than that of the blight.  _

_ The elf blood, lending a bond to the elfen immortality. _

_ Magic ties them together, the bridge between old and older.  _

Next came a long list of complicated ingredients, amongst them being a dragon heart, a griphon feather and more.

“We made some of the solution. It worked,” he said, excitedly standing there, practically trembling. 

“Who did you test it on?” I asked, my voice low. 

“A Warden who showed up here about six weeks ago. He was on his way to Kirkwall. Heading to the unguarded deep roads entrance. He stayed over and my associate and I asked him if he would be willing to try it. Get a second lease on life if it worked.” 

I handed him the book. 

“And? Did it work?!”

He nodded so hard his little round glasses slipped off his nose. “It did! He's recovering still in one of the small bungalows on the Peak’s grounds. But he's healing nicely and he will be fine, Commander!” 

I looked down at my shaking hands. “There's a cure?” I whispered. 

He took my hands between his own, “There is, indeed, a cure.”

I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and that invisible hand squeezing my heart seemed to loosen. 

I heard the door below us open, Levi calling out, “Is the Warden Commander in here?” 

Avernus answered, “She is indeed! I was just giving her the good news, Master Dryden!” 

I looked back and Alistair led Cullen into the tower, a slight scowl on his lovely face. I stood as he crossed to the dais, and before he could speak I put my fingers over his lips.

“He found a cure,” I said, my voice shaking. His eyes widened. Cullen spoke, “Are you certain?” he demanded to know.

Avernus chuckled. “I can see why you feel different, Mistress Warden Commander.”

I shot him a look.

“I found a cure Master Templar.”

I raised my eyebrow again.

“When you've been alive as long as I, and held magic as long as I, you learn people. He may not take the blue anymore, but that man has the bearing and honor of a Templar. Not these new broken ones. But ones like the times of old. The Templars who worked hand in hand with mages, trusting them and letting them  _ live _ .”

Cullen stared at him, slackjawed.

“I found a cure. Along with a mage friend who used to be a Grand Enchanter.” 

Cullen spoke again, “Grand Enchanter Fiona?” 

The old man nodded. “She is a smart and canny mage. And she has knowledge of some very old elven magics. She was invaluable. Hopefully you'll get to meet her when she returns in a few days. Now, I have enough of the solution for a few more wardens. Until she gets back. What would you like to do next?”

I stared at him a moment.

“Layne. It has to be you.”

Alistair surprised me with his adamant demand. I looked at him. 

“I … I need time.” I turned on my heel and fled the tower. I heard the men calling after me, but I didn't dare stop. I ran through the keep, to the little chapel that I had asked Levi to clean and repair years ago. There were always lit candles. 

I locked the door behind me, walking silently to the statue of Andraste.

I fell to my knees and stared at one of the flickering candles.

“Am I ready for this? Well and truly ready? To.. to give up this part of me that's been as beneficial as it has a mortal danger?”

Silence greeted me.

“What if I die? From this cure… what if I'm already too far gone?”

Whispers tickled the edge of my mind, swirling about the thoughts and tangling with my want.

Fear clutched at my heart. 

“What if it's too late because we took too long?” I whispered the words into the gloomy room, not expecting an answer. 

I smothered my mouth, trying not to cry. 

What if’s floated into my mind, one right after the other. 

Doubts.

Fears?

Everything I hadn't really let myself think since I had gotten hurt, and it had taken so long to heal. 

What if it  _ were _ too late and this was just going to usher me along? 

Would they survive that? Would Alistair still have that light I love so much?

Would Cullen get to keep that new lovely smile that made my heart sing?

In the end.. would all of it matter? What we had gained over these last few months? 

A fist hit the door, and Alistair yelled at me through it. I put a barrier up against the door, and whispered a fervent prayer. 

“I don't know if you.. are real. Maker or no. But if I have ever asked for anything, it's been that  _ he _ be happy and whole. Now them. Don't break them at the expense of losing me. I'm admittedly a selfish person when it comes to them.”

Alistair quieted, though I could still feel him there. 

“Let this be our miracle. Because how much more heartache can we take?”

I released the barrier and the door swung open. He stood there, his hair wild, eyes wilder.

“You hear it, don't you?” he whispered. I nodded, a sob escaping my chest. He walked to me, Cullen close behind him. I couldn't look at them. Four hands grabbing at me, pulling me close to them both. Fast hearts and fear. 

“How long?” Alistair asked, hands at my shoulders. 

“I don't even know. I've felt off the last few days. What else could it be?” 

Cullen kissed my head.

“Alistair is right. It has to be you.” Cullen spoke up behind me, his voice quiet but resolute. 

Alistair nodded, a hand smoothing my hair and his lips pressing to my forehead. 

“We need to talk to.. To Avernus.”

I shook my head. “Give me a day or two. Let me figure this out.”

They both stared at me. I scowled. “I lived with the false calling for month's. This feels similar but not the same. I need to be sure.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow.

I raised my chin. 

Alistair sighed. 

“You have the time. Don't expect much, Layne. I've got a say. As does Cullen.”

Cullen nodded this time. I nodded last. 

 

**I wish then, there on that floor in front of Andraste and the Maker that I had known. That it wasn't something so simple as the Calling. And that it could very well tear me apart the same way the Calling could.**

**Two days later, I was no closer to an answer.**

**The men were getting antsy.**

**And I was feeling worse.**

**Then the mage Fiona returned, and our world was thrown again.**

 

Levi knocked on the library door, poking his head inside. “Warden Commander?” 

I looked up from the book I wasn't actually reading. 

“Grand… the mage Fiona has returned. You asked to be notified?”

I nodded. “Bring her here please.”

He nodded and left.

A few minutes later, a raven haired elf entered the room. She left a staff at the door, and approached me with a smile.

“You must be the Warden Commander we all get to hear so much about. Your hair is a big give away,” she said, holding out her hand. I stood, taking it and giving her a wry smile in return.

“Your own reputation precedes you. The only person cured of the blight?”

She shrugged. “Tis a long story, Commander. Is it one you wish to hear?” 

I nodded. “Call me Allayna please.”

She began to speak. Telling me of her early days with the Wardens, meeting King Marric. How some time later she had fallen pregnant and after the babe was born, she was somehow.. cured. The blight was no longer tainting her. Her abilities to sense the Darkspawn had ceased to exist. 

“I made a.. lot of mistakes in my youth.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You still look so young,” I said. She laughed.

“I'm old. Elves age differently is all.”

Something about her smile.

Her laugh. 

I asked her to stay there.

And went to have Levi find Alistair.

I returned to wait by the library door. When he walked up, confused as he should be, I asked him to come meet the mage who helped Avernus.

That she had his smile meant nothing.

Yet.

We entered the library and Fiona gasped.

“You.. you look just like your father,” she said, her voice trembling. Alistair crossed the room and offered his hand.

“Grey Warden Alistair Theirin at your service,” he said with a flourish. She took his hand, shock evident on her pretty face.

“I want to thank you,” he said, kneeling in front of her chair. “You helped create the cure. Which will save my wife. And for that I'll be forever grateful.”

She looked between us. “Save her?”

He nodded, “The Calling…” he said. But her short laugh surprised us both.

“You.. you don't know?” she asked, looking between us.

“You're with child,” she said gently. I fell into my chair. 

“The..there's no way. I've.. never been able to get pregnant.”

She pursed her eyebrows. “I'm not a midwife, but magic senses magic.. and you are carrying.” 

I shook my head. “It's not possible..” I whispered. Alistair coughed. “Love. Cullen…” he said with a fierce blush. I shook my head. “It's been too long. I can't be..” 

“Cullen? Commander Cullen? From Skyhold?” Fiona asked. I nodded. 

“I.. we? We have an unusual rela.. relationship.” Alistair offered up. 

“Alistair and I married almost ten years ago. Before that I had known Cullen at Kinloch Hold when I was at the circle tower. I.. rescued him. And he later thought me dead. Leliana summoned me to Skyhold, and I found Cullen. Ah.. yes. It is odd. For you. Maybe? But for us.. he's no less a part than Alistair or I. They're mine.” I said it with a shrug, but something deeper inside me wanted more than an acknowledgement.

She stood, “Can you excuse me?” her voice was almost frantic. I nodded and she fled the room. Alistair just looked lost.

Later that night I found her in my chapel. 

“He's your son, isn't he?” I asked her quietly from the door. She jumped.

“Yes.”

“He has your smile.” 

She nodded, unable to look at me.

“He thinks you're dead. We.. met someone who we thought was his sister in Denerim a lifetime ago. She was vile and evil. And even now I can swear there was no familial relation there. But you.. you smiled and I knew. Are we going to tell him?” I asked, kneeling next to her. 

“I.. I don't even know. I knew he was at Skyhold. So was I. But I never had the chance to meet him. I tried.. a few times. But he was in and out of the keep so much that I just never caught him. And the Inquisitor kept us busy.”

I stayed quiet.

“I've hated myself… since the day Maric took him away. I knew it was safer. He would have no good life with me, and since I was being sent back to the Circle, there was no better option. I didn't.. I didn't  know about Isolde and Eamon until it was too late. And then time just seemed to pass, the blight struck.”

She took a wavering breath.

“Should I tell him?”

I shrugged.

“I honestly don't know. Things are so strange right now. I have the cure, practically in my hands. I've waited so long. And now that I'm here. And it's here.. you say I'm pregnant. I feel.. I don't even know. It's never been a possibility.”

She sighed. 

“Well, we're a pair, aren't we?”

I laughed softly.

“May I ask something?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Alistair mentioned Cullen. Are.. are you three..?” her voice trailed off.

I thought a moment on how to answer.

“I'm going to tell you some things. When I first met Alistair, he was a petulant boy. Angry with the Chantry, enamored of the Wardens. Duncan was like a father to him, and when he perished at Ostagar Alistair was.. bitter and quiet. We picked up an assassin who I became close with. He saved me as much as I saved him, but as we traveled, it kind of faded. And there was Alistair. He had grieved his mentor, and when we had to go into the deep roads, a whole new him emerged.” I stopped for a second. 

“He was glorious. He made me laugh. He helped me heal after what happened… at Kinloch. And he was kind. Sweet. Gentle. And eager to please. I loved him before I knew what was what. I supported him when he denied his claim to the throne. I also didn't let him kill Loghain. We had to do unconventional things to survive the Archdemon. And within the year, we were married, much to the consternation of the Warden council. They had sent me to Amaranthine, and I almost died there again. It was a surprisingly busy couple of years.”

She laughed. “Sounds like it. What happened next?”

“We lived. A few years ago we found ourselves in Antiva, and met up with that Assassin I told you about. Things had gone wrong on our last assignment, and we had lost a couple of the people we were helping. It.. hit me hard. And seeing Zevran again was like.. a new lease on us. This is somewhat awkward. But the three of us lived together, in all ways, for almost four months. It was eye opening. It made us stronger, and closer. After that, within weeks, the Circles fell and we were thrown into chaos. The calling.. it was awful. He barely heard it, said it was more annoying than anything. For me it was staggering and horrendous. I didn't tell him until a few weeks ago how bad it was.”

“Why not?” 

“Because he had gotten that light back in his eyes and I wanted it to stay there. After Adamant, and his trip to the fade, we went to Weisshaupt and told them what had transpired. We barely escaped before they closed the citadel. We had to hide, constantly moving to avoid other grey wardens sent after us. Leliana found me and invited us to Skyhold after Corypheus fell. We went. And she gave me Cullen. It was odd, seeing him there. And good.”

I rubbed my leg, not sure how to proceed.

“Does Alistair approve?”

“It's not like that. Him and I went into this together. There was no adultery. He is as invested as I. Cullen.. he was broken. In more ways than I could count. And we had the means to mend him. It's been more than I can explain now. He's as much a part of us as we are him. I loved him as a girl. And I love him as a woman. And go be honest, Alistair does too. He's just slower with words than I, but his actions say it clearly.”

She looked at me.

I stared back.

“You're brave,” she stated.

“I have to be. You walk in a world with monsters like the Archdemon and the Mother, and you face evil Templars and rogue Wardens… you stop worrying about convention or tradition. You take what love you can, because you know it can be fleeting and quick. And you give what you can, because everyone needs a little love.”

She tilted her head. “I'm glad he found you “

“Oh, so am I. I would honestly not be here if it weren't for him. He's everything. They both are.”

I stood up. 

“It's up to you, if you want to tell him who you are. If you do, give him some time. He might be angry and shocked at first. Who could blame him? Show him your matching necklace. He still carries the one he had as a child. The chain broke while he was in the fade, so it's sewn into a pocket inside his armor. You mean something to him. An ideal. Be kind. It's all I ask.”

She nodded and I left her there.

I found Alistair and Cullen sitting on the bed talking when I got back to our room. Alistair had decided I got to tell Cullen what was happening. 

They greeted me with confused smiles, offering me a spot between them. I took off most of my clothes, joining them with my longer undershirt on.

“Cullen. I have something to tell you. Feel free to.. I don't know. Yell. Or cheer.” I raised a hand and warded the room.

“What's going on?” he asked.

“I'm not going to prevaricate. I'm pregnant.”

He stopped breathing. 

“What?” he whispered.

I took a breath. “We thought it was the calling. Or with my luck it's both. But, the mage Fiona, is sure I'm expecting. And… it's very unlikely that this was Alistair’s doing.” 

He stared at me. Alistair waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you alright?”

Cullen blinked. “Are you sure?”

I shook my head. “Time will tell, if she's right. And I've a feeling she is, I just never thought of it because we're both wardens and it's highly unlikely that we could procreate without serious magical intervention. Dangerous magical intervention.” He blinked again.

“Well. Shit.”

Alistair's laugh surprised me.

“He said shit. You broke him, Layne!”

I slapped Alistair's arm.

“Cullen.”

He placed his hands on my shoulders. 

“Are you alright with this?” he asked me, and Alistair.

I shrugged. “Do I have a choice? I never expected it, because.. the taint is not conducive to having children. But you're virile and healthy. I should have expected it. And I should.. have done something to prevent it. Since we never had a chance.. to discuss it?”

I was blushing by the time I finished speaking.

He opened his mouth. 

Then her closed it. 

Eyebrows furrowed. “Do you.. either of you.. even want this?!” he asked us. I looked at Alistair. He answered for us.

“When we were first married discussed it. We had no real.. knowledge of what the taint really did to us until we went to Weisshaupt the first time. They told us there that it was going to be nearly impossible to conceive. We haven't really discussed it much since. Mostly because it's a bittersweet wish. So yes, we did. We had just gotten up hope.”

Cullen looked at me.

“Cullen I was raised in the circle. I had never had plans for a family or children. Even when.. I had you, I was always aware of my place in things. Becoming a Grey Warden was a boon, it got me out of the circle. I gained a family. And friends. And a life. And now? I have you both. And whatever is in store for us, we'll take it a day at a time.”

Cullen raised his hand to my face. “Alistair.. do you mind this?”

“Maker, no. Look at her face. She's fairly glowing. I'd rather her be happy than otherwise. And are we really still stuck on yours and mine?” he teased with a smile.

Cullen rubbed his thumb over my cheek.

“Is it wrong to want this?” he whispered. I gave him a smile and knelt in front of him, before hugging him tight. He pressed his face into my neck, trembling.

“Wanting people to love and cherish is never wrong, Cullen. This will be the most loved babe in Ferelden. Now, I have a question.” I pulled back, looking between the men. “Would.. anyone object to Cullen officially joining us?”

“But aren't I..?”

I shook my head. 

“Cullen. You're a part of us. So much so. Do you love me?” I asked him, excitement taking away my earlier apprehension. 

He looked at me, “I've never stopped, Ally.” I gave him a brilliant smile. “Good. Alistair, can you admit..?”

“If the man is unaware that he is loved, he's more stubborn than I gave him credit for.”

“Love..” I admonished quietly. Alistair wrinkled his nose. “Do you think I'd still be here and smiling while you carried his babe, if I didn't love the oaf?” he said quietly. Cullen looked at him. 

“Oaf is it?”

“Really handsome oaf, with a sexy smile and glorious heart. You're ours, Cullen. No doubt.”

Cullen sighed. “Good. Because I'm well and truly head over heels for you both.” He was blushing when 'both’ left his delectable lips. I pulled him close again, and he crushed me against his chest. Alistair joined the hug.

“Cullen, will you marry us?” Alistair asked. 

“Is that even possible?” he asked. I shrugged between them. 

“We'll make it possible.”

An hour or two later, Cullen lay sleeping next to me, his face pressed against my shoulder, his hand on my stomach. Alistair faced me, his eyes on my face as I stared holes into the ceiling.

“Are you alright?” he asked me quietly. I nodded.

“I think I am.” I turned, brushing the back of my hand over his face. He smiled. 

“A baby, Layne.” 

I nodded, tears threatening me again. “Are you truly alright with this?” I whispered. He took my hand, kissing my knuckles and keeping it.

“I'm very alright. Who knows if the cure is even going to let us have children later? If this is the only chance for a tiny human in our lives, then so be it. You look happy, love. And what kind if husband would I be if I didn't see that and want to let you keep it?”

“Ah what did I ever do to deserve you?” I muttered.

“You saved the world. And every day you save me. I love you,” he said.

“And I love you. And he said yes. I hope he doesn't change his mind. Because we need him. And he needs us. A baby, Alistair.”

He nodded. 

“A miracle.”

And with that, we fell asleep.


End file.
